To Be A Woman Of The North

Laenaya sighed a little at his words, but she turned to look at him. She was quiet a long moment before finally speaking.

"I don't know Brandt...maybe. I understand that what I did hurt you in some way, but you have to understand that I am young and was scared. It offered me temporary protection. That was all it was meant to be. When things began to evolve between us I began to think I didn't want to take it anymore. I also wanted us to get to know each other better before having a baby. I'm sorry. But what you did...villianizing me to my family..." Tears began to fill her eyes and she looked down. "You have no idea the guilt I feel for what I did...or what happened to Neelin."

He sighed also and looked down. “I know that was a mistake now Laenaya...I’m no older than you are. I was hurt and felt like...getting back at you. I am sorry I did that and I don’t think they took you as a villain either. And you know you weren’t. You did what you thought was right. The other well...mistakes happen all the time. I...just had feelings for you and thinking you didn’t return them…” he didn’t want to go on. All of this made him feel...awkward and weak. Half of it was his mother who taught him to express himself, the other half was his father who taught him to scuttle any signs of weakness. It all confused him and for a while, Laenaya was all he could think of. Now it was her and their child wo she was carrying.

“Are you...are you going to leave me...and take our child to Gondor?” He asked in a strained voice. He knew if she wanted to go she just would eventually. Keeping her against her will was no way to raise a child.

Laenaya looked over at Brandt when he asked if she was going to take their child back to Gondor. She sighed, but shook her head.

"I'm upset and angry, but no...I...I took a vow and I intend to keep it. I'm not the type of woman to take a child away from it's father. We'll just have to work through this somehow."

She was quiet a long while before speaking gently again.

"When I told you I loved you I meant it Brandt. I...I just need time."

Brandt just looked at her for a moment, his eyes sad and weary. “Alright I just...I just miss you Laenaya. And I don’t like you being upset with me. I know I’m not who you would have picked for a husband..but...but I want to try to make you happy. I mean...I want us to be happy together. If time is what you need I can give it to you...come, we are both tired,” he said as he laid back then slid over to give her room to join him.

The next few days were exactly like the first except that it snowed alot. One of their horses got frostbitten and Ice Paw killed and ate it with gratitude. The large cat always trailed near Laenaya now. Its heightened senses letting her know when there were animals and enemies nearby. That and whenever the men thought to dress Laenaya down for ordering them around Ice Paw only had to growl and they fell back in line quickly. Each night Winona changed his wound and each day they made North toward the Clans. They were heading East into Rhovannion when they were joined by a patrol of the Blue Bear Clan. By that time Brandt was up riding again but he still let Laenaya dispose those of the caravan. It surprised many who decided to escort them in but the cat seemed to make them think twice before trying anything. Luckily they didn’t and they all made it home in one piece.

By the time they made it home Laenaya was starting to show. Her clothes were already starting to become snug and she just felt exhausted all the time. However, she never once complained. Being pregnant didn't seem to agree with her stomach, however, and she became sick often. Thankfully, she was able to keep enough food down for herself and the baby. Word quickly began to spread about her pregnancy and everyone was happy about the news. Laenaya smiled for everyone, but when alone her smile faded. She was young and without her mother and quite scared. She knew nothing of being pregnant or caring for a child and the thought frightened her.

They had been back for a day and Laenaya was sitting in their bedroom by the fireplace that evening. Brandt had been with the other men being toasted and congratulated for the coming baby.

As soon as they got back, Brandt decided to dispatch a letter to Rohan and by Rohan it would be taken to Gondor with the news of her pregnancy. He asked for some all or at least some of her family to come North to see her and ensured them safe passage into and out of Rhovannion. Many men complained to Hakon about Laenaya. Her leading them, giving them orders and the like during their trip. Brandt had already told him though of her taming of the massive Snow Cat that now shared his home with them. That and it ate alot of meat every few days. Hakon reasoned that any woman that could do that was worthy of her leadership and it also made him proud to have such a woman as a near daughter as well as that same woman now being pregnant with his grandson.

Brandt did not really want to spend time with the other men, he wanted to spend time with Laenaya. As soon as it wasn’t rude he decided to peel himself away and go to her. He wasn’t surprised that Ice Paw...the name she said it had given itself was there with her. He came in none too steady on his feet from all the drink he imbibed. His stitches were beginning to heal nicely and looked until he found her then came and sat near her by the fire.

“Father is quite pleased with you Laenaya. He held a toast in your honor, praising how his near daughter tamed a Snow Cat and now bears his grandson. I tried to tell him it could be a daughter but I decided to let him have his fun. You look...pale, the sickness is still affecting you?” He asked and seemed sober enough to look concerned for her and he was. He had seen bad pregnancies before and the getting sick alot version of that was not a pleasant one.

“May I, get you something Laenaya?” he asked. She looked comfortable there and would get up for her if she needed something. The men of the holds would laugh at him for offering to do anything like that. In their own home though he didn’t care what they thought and they didn’t need to know anyway.

Laenaya heard the door to their rooms open and the heavy sound of Brandt's footsteps as he came in. Ice Paw raised her head slightly, but then settled back down and closed her eyes. Laenaya looked over at him and could see he had probably had quite a bit to drink. She closed the book she had been reading as he came over towards her. It surprised her a little to hear that his father had praised her and had a toast in her honor. However, she knew that receiving such compliments from him was rare and she considered it high praise.

She was still feeling sick. This evening seemed particularly bad for some reason. She looked over at him when he offered to get her something. She was quiet a moment before responding.

"A cup of tea would be nice."

He smiled and nodded as he stood up. He moved to the small kitchen area they had and managed to get a tea cup from the shelf. He set it down then opened the small pouch of tea leaves, mint he knew she had been using to settle her stomach so he put a few leaves between his fingers and crumbled them up at the bottom of the cup. He took the wool towel and moved over toward her to the fire. With his left hand he lifted the kettle that had been steaming for some time and filled the cup with hot water then handed it to her. He replaced the kettle then folded the small towel and put it up onto the mantle before he came back down to sit near her. He stifled a burp, all the movement had shifted everything in his stomach.

“Mother says my stitches will be able to come out in a few more days. We did good bringing in all those supplies Laenaya. They were important to us all,” he said. “So far no one has said anything about those soldiers coming after us. I think there will be a discussion on that soon,” he told her though his father would not like him telling her of such things. He wanted her to know everything that was going on, He needed her intelligence to help him see a way through it all that didn’t lead to war or reprisals. “How should I present this to them?” He asked her as he looked over at Ice Paw.

Laenaya waited as he went to the kitchen and prepared some mint tea for her. She took the blanket on the side of the chair and draped it over her. Her rounding stomach could be seen even through the blanket at this point. As he emerged from the kitchen she reached out and took the cup of tea. She let the scent fill her nose and almost immediately she felt a little better. She took a small sip of the warm tea and felt her stomach begin to settle. She sighed a little as she thought about the attack. She rested her cup in her lap and looked at him.

"My uncle would never have attacked us. I strong belief is that this was an isolated attack. That man you questioned seemed to be the leader and was angry. I do not believe my uncle knew that this was going to happen."

He nodded thoughtfully at her words and they mimicked his own ideas on the attack. The trick was getting his father to believe it. Eomer did release 2 men hey had taken prisoner but they had died in the attack. “I agree,” he said plainly but his eyes fluttered over to her belly. “May I...uh, touch it?” He asked softly.

Laenaya knew her uncle was a good man. Yes, he could be rash at times. But she was his niece and daughter of King Elessar and Queen Nauriel. She knew deep down that he wanted to avoid war. He never would have launched such an attack...especially not knowing that she had been with the group.

As Brandt looked at her belly slightly and asked if he could touch it she slowly nodded. She moved her tea cup so it wouldn't be in the way.

He smiled at her then gently he pressed his hand down upon her lower belly. It did feel different than he remembered. That and touching her at all made him feel...good. He smiled and sighed contentedly knowing what this child meant for their two peoples. He retracted his hand and settled her blanket back to the way it was. He did also touch her face briefly with the back of his hand before he returned his hands back into his lap.

“I guess you won’t need to find someone to watch over the child when you can not,” he quipped then nodded over at Ice paw.

After everything that had happened between them they had not really touched intimately in weeks. Feeling Brandt's hand upon her lower belly was strange at first and she tensed up ever so slightly, but then she began to relax. As he pulled his hand back he fixed her blanket and then lightly brushed the back of her face with his hand before pulling his hand away. Feeling his gentle touch was quite nice and reminded her of how things were before everything had fallen apart between them. She glanced down at Ice Paw when he mentioned that she wouldn't need to find someone to watch their child when she couldn't. She actually briefly smiled, but then her smile faded. She looked at Brandt slightly.

"I'm scared Brandt."

“I know,” he said softly. “Me too but...somehow I just think that everything will workout in the end. You are joining your mother and your grandmother into starting the next generation for your family. You alone own that with me with you, along for the ride. I’m certain they were scared to and look at how everything turned out? You come from a very famous family Laenaya and I can much of your mother in you,” he said as he drew closer to her.

“Her strength, her courage and her beauty,” he said then leaned in and kissed her cheek very softly.

Laenaya could only hope Brandt was right and that everything would work out in the end. She knew that it was going to be difficult without her family to help her, but if her mother and grandmother could do it then she could too.

As Brandt drew closer to her she felt her heart actually begin to beat a little faster. She felt his lips on her cheek and she turned her head slightly as he pulled back. He hadn't pulled back very far and her eyes met his. Their lips were close...nearly touching...She glanced from his eyes to his lips and then back up to his eyes.

Softly he pressed his lips to hers. She tasted like mint and her own sweet taste that was just hers. He kept his kisses chaste and gentle but he sought out her upper lip, then her lower than the corners of her lips with his but always gently, always soft and subtle. Pushing her he knew would be a mistake and time was all he really had right now. It ended with his head up against hers. A young couple finding comfort alone with one another.

After a quiet moment he got up and moved behind her on his knees. He began to rub her shoulders, kneading the flesh there with his hands and fingers. His mother had taught him a little about how to do this but he suspected it was only because she knew father wouldn’t. By how she reacted he didn’t do to badly though. He worked on her shoulders and on her spine, gently pressing his fingers, palm and thumb alternating on both sides all the way up to her shoulders. He also worked on her neck, she was tense and he smiled when she moaned as he tried to knead out the miles and the struggles she had had recently. He continued for about 20 minutes and when he was done she seemed suitably tired. He saw other things in her eyes as well, a warm heat for him he thought.

“Let’s get some sleep my love,’ he whispered in her ear. When she turned her head to look at him he kissed her with a bit more passion than he meant right then. Touching her had affected him even if he was only doing it to relax her for sleep. He would not start anything though. At least he hoped he wouldn’t. He knew full well she was more than capable of that when she was ready. As always he undressed to his skin and brought her one of her clean, white shifts that she slept in most of the time. “I’ll go warm it up for you,” he whispered softly in a suggestive way and he smiled as he let her see him walk to the bed and slide in to remain on her side. She liked when he did that, the man was a proverbial oven.

As Brandt leaned in and closed the gap between them she closed her eyes. The kiss was soft and warm and lovingly. She kissed him back and she felt that familiar comfort slowly begin to come back. Laenaya was grateful that Brandt kept the kiss somewhat chaste. She wasn't sure they were emotionally ready yet for anything more. Brandt then moved back behind her and began to massage her shoulders and work on the tense muscles in her neck and back. She closed her eyes and moaned ever so slightly at the feeling. Between the long journey and her pregnancy she was quite tense and Brandt knew just the right amount of pressure to use to help relax her muscles. Neither of them spoke over the next 20 minutes, but the silence wasn't caused by anger any longer. It was a comfortable silence and they seemed content to just be with one another.

After 20 minutes she felt sufficiently relaxed and extremely tired. She was certainly ready for some much needed sleep. As she turned her head to look at him, he kissed her again...though this time with a little more heat. She closed her eyes and kissed him back, but once again they stopped before things went too far. As he undressed she finished her mint tea and then took the night shift he brought for her. She smiled at him when he told her he would go warm the bed for her. He knew she liked getting into a warm bed and he always seemed to be warm. She slipped on her shift, which was getting a little tight, and then got into bed next to him. For the first time in weeks she lay on her side facing away from him and let him move up behind her to wrap his arms around her.

The dawn sisters very pleased to have Laenaya back, she had been there best Hunter. They threw her their own party of sorts that morning that involved tea, a kind of sweet bread with berries known to inhibit morning sickness and a watery brown juice that tasted faintly bitter but actually was very...calming to the nerves. After her second cup though she began to feel a bit woozy like she was drunk. They gave her gifts, new shifts and undergarments, changing and coddling cloths, combs and brushes and creams to keep the stretch marks at bay. They also were incorrigible with their advice how to please her husband sexually. They warned her that she would be even more alluring for him now she was with child and that different positions would help her not exhaust the same muscles. They also demonstrated clothed unabashedly with one another so she would know what describing alone could not accomplish.

Brandt went back to what he was tasked to do, all the logistical tasks his father was to lazy to bother with. He hated that kind of work, his hand was not precise and though making sure the clans had food and supplies was very important it was not pleasant or interesting work. That and he drifted off with thoughts of Laenaya and how much he seemed to want to be with her as of late. She was getting chubby around the middle a bit but for some odd reason it only made him want her more. That and he had not had sex in weeks. For the afternoon meal Jenara was serving Brandt, Hakon and several other chiefs and their wives. She was of average height but she had large, plump breasts that she liked to show off with the low cuts of her hide dresses and she always wore a silver necklace that Brandt had given her when they were just children. She didn’t like Brandt any more than anyone else but she was often passed around from man to man, especially when their wives were large with child. Laenaya was expected to attend such meals though Brandt knew well of her delicate stomach. He had mint tea made for her as other took the animals from her kill pack that had become burdensome from her good fortune that morning. It was then that Jenara ‘chose’ to come to sit on his lap and nearly smother him with her ample bosom. The men all laughed uproariously just as Laenaya was about to sit down but Brandt wasn’t laughing at all. He was so concerned about how Laenaya would take things like that that it made him quite angry in fact. He had been trying with her and he knew well that she was sensitive to such things. He shoved her off of him so hard she fell to the floor., her tray of mugs crashed to the floor and she herself looked angry and embarrassed. Their laughs cut off quickly as Brandt stood up then left the hall briskly.

It was not so easy to tote the line between two cultures. He needed to please his wife. Making up for her not having her family or her comforts was difficult. Being apart of what his own culture was sometimes conflicted with that and also he was not at all happy making lists and visually inspecting their food and goods storage. Theft was common amongst the clans. Greedy men and women took what wasn’t guarded and even the guards were easily bribed with promises for sex or money or goods for the most part. Anja though sat next to Laenaya before she could get away.

“Let him go,” she said with a smile. She always had smiles for Laenaya now. She had wanted a grandchild and with the death of her other children, Brandt had been her only hope for the future of her family. Laenaya also noticed Winona came to sit on her other side. “We will sit awhile and talk...while you eat,” she said and bowls of hot, beef stew and a thick, crusty bread and a large mug of goat’s milk was set in front of her. She knew then that getting away would not be easy. These women would not let her get away without eating every, single, bite.

Laenaya was still tired in the morning, but rose early and dressed and went to join the other Dawn Sisters. She was quite surprised, but actually pleased when they held their own kind of celebration. She enjoyed the food, the bread especially since it helped with the sickness she was already feeling. The brown juice was calming, but almost to the point of her feeling drunk and she quickly stopped drinking that. However, when the women began to talk about pleasing Brandt while pregnant she began to blush, despite trying not to, and wished she could be anywhere else. She didn't like talking about such things, but she did listen when they described different positions that wouldn't put stress on the baby or exhaust her.

At mid-day she joined the others for the meal. She was feeling sick to her stomach again and was relieved that Brandt had made sure that she had some mint tea waiting for her. She looked over at him slightly and smiled. However, that smile quickly faded when Jenara decided to plop herself down on Brandt's lap. She knew that they had been friends since they were children, and Laenaya had learned to tolerate quite a bit, but this angered her. She looked away, wanting to leave so she didn't have to see this display, but before she could even try to get up from the table she heard a crash and she looked over to see Jenara on the floor and Brandt looking furious. She watched as Brandt left the room. She started to go after him, but Anja stopped her. She sighed a little and wanted to argue, but could see it would be pointless. She sat back down and began to eat. They wanted her to eat every bite, but Laenaya was still feeling ill and could only eat so much. Finally, she convinced them she was full and didn't need to eat anymore and was allowed to get up from the table. She left the room and went to find Brandt.

It had taken coming back for Brandt to realize that this just wasn’t going to work. There would be more trade caravans, more opportunities for his wife and child to be killed. This was no place for Laenaya or his child. She found him in the stables. He was feeding Faereun, her white carrots and hay. He stood before the door that used to contain his Black, given to him by her grandfather. He was a great horse but he had been killed by Rohan soldiers and Brandt nearly along with him. He heard her come in as he stroked her white’s nose and murmured soothing words to her. What he was going to say was difficult and when she asked him what was wrong the dam finally broke as he turned and hugged her. He was wracked with sobs though stifled as they came. When he could speak he leaned back to look at her though his eyes were wet with fresh tears.

“I think...I think we need to leave Laenaya...I think being your husband carries with it the knowing that together we do not belong anywhere,” he said and held more tears from falling. It was not easy to admit this at all. He loved his family, his mother and his aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews. But he also knew she did as well her own family. “I...do not know where we can go,” he said honestly. He was not a thinker like she and had not come this far in his thoughts as of yet. His emotions beat his mind to the punch and led him to where he was now, knowing they didn’t really belong there.

Laenaya first checked their room before heading outside to look for him and it wasn't until she checked the barn that she found him. She could tell from the slump of his shoulders that something was weighing heavily on his mind. She asked him what was wrong and was surprised when he suddenly turned and hugged her and began to cry. This was not like Brandt at all and she knew then that he had made a tough decision. What he said shocked her though. She was quiet a moment and held him as she processed what he said.

"If you feel we must leave then we can return to Gondor," she said gently. "My family will welcome us and take care of us."

He took a step away from her even more troubled now knowing that she would suggest her own city. The place that was alien to him when he was there. What could he do there? He only had his hands and Gondor would expect much more.

“And what would I do in Minas Tirith Laenaya? I don’t belong there anymore than you and our child belong here!?” He said almost desperately. Her suggestion both irritated him and scared him.

Laenaya was caught off guard by his sudden outburst and she took a step back as tears came to her eyes.

"I...I'm sorry...I just..." She looked down. "I'm sorry Brandt."

He turned back to face her. His face calmed but his brow was still troubled. He put his hands on her shoulders and the mist of his breath came out in quick bursts. “I love you Laenaya, I want us not just to be together, but also to be happy. You’re smart...you can think of something, I know you can,” he said as he looked at her.

OOC-I'm not sure where they could go apart from having them find some small village or town to go to.