Things Left Unsaid Stardate 2259.94

Scarlett understood what Spock was doing, but she wished he felt that he could be himself around her parents. His Vulcan half did often frustrate her, but that was part of who he was and she loved him...completely and fully. 

While working on Beta Circini 3 for two years Scarlett had been primarily alone. She had gotten used to that and she had found that working on a busy starship could be...distracting. Scarlett often needed quiet in order to work and she was often interrupted. Spock had been teaching her PEM to help her focus more easily. It had actually been helping and she and Spock had their nightly rituals now...that put them in touch with both their minds...and their bodies. 

"Yes, he does," Scarlett said with a little smile.

"With repairs under way, I'm afraid we'll have to cut the tour short," Spock said. He was wearing black on black, like usual when he wore civilian clothing. Almost everything looked the same and he didn't like burning time trying to figure out what to put on.

They had a nice, long walk in Old Central Park. It was a replica of Central Park on Earth in new York. Between Spock and Scarlett, they knew every plant, tree, bush, flower and bird that existed in the park. While her parents were getting a tea at the outdoor cafe, Spock decided to tell Scarlett what he felt from Silas.

"When your brother got up from the table...I felt...something from him. He brushed by arm and I felt...rage and hate, embarrassment and shame. It felt...deep somehow," Spock said.

Scarlett enjoyed walking through the park with Spock. It reminded her of the night of their first kiss and the start of their relationship back at the Academy. They had both attended the same party and after she had beat him at a game of 3D chess they had wandered outside through a garden and there Spock had kissed her.

They found a bench in a quiet area and sat down together. She looked over at her husband when he spoke about the feelings he got from her brother when Silas got up from the table and his arm accidentally brushed up against him. She sighed and was quiet a moment before speaking. "I started displaying high levels of intelligence at a very young age. Because of that I was put into more advanced classes and even graduated school early. My parents are both professors and because of my affinity for math and science I suppose they focused on me more. But Silas isn't stupid. He is intelligent and he is talented. I think he needs someone different to talk to. Perhaps you could talk to him? My parents just get frustrated with him. He needs someone without an emotional connection to his behavior to talk with."

"I could do that. But i can't make any promises Scarlett. He is an adult and has made poor decisions. He can come up from that but all the roads available to him will be difficult ones. But I will do what I can," he said. And then, with a grin as if he had been thinking about that evening at the Academy as well.

"I let you beat me," He said as he picked up his step and moved just ahead of her. She felt the smug grin as much as saw it on his face. It wasn't exactly true but he was distracted from how beautiful she was. Well, she's adorable. He can't be faulted for a lack of concentration. She did that too him sometimes even now. She tries to be innocent but sometimes when they are working together she does things when she knows he's looking at her. He could look at her forever and that would be fine with him.

Scarlett was glad that Spock was going to talk to her brother. She hoped that maybe by having someone different to talk to that Silas would open up. Spock also tried to keep his emotions out of things which would certainly help. 

Scarlett looked at Spock when he suddenly told her that he had let her beat him at that 3D chess game. She laughed and shook her head. "No, you just lost and since you don't like to lose you have now convinced yourself that you let yourself lose."

That afternoon Spock decided to visit with Silas while Scarlett took her parents to the Market Plaza which was alot like Times Square on Earth but bigger and more amazing. Holo adverts were everywhere and some of the Hotels were completely Holographic. Rooms that were as if they were hut villas on the ocean. Even one that was like an air ship that flew over the Grand Canyon on Earth or the mounts of Te'Rikh on Vulcan. There were Holographic restaurants and regular restaurants though only a few served real food. Most of it was re-sequenced proteins. Then there was the shopping. Anything and everything was on sale here.

Silas answered the door and was surprised to see Spock there. "Oh, hello Spock, come to see the Black Sheep of the family?" Silas said. "I have and I would like to talk to you," Spock added as Silas let him in. "Its a free universe, if you want to waist time talking to me, I won't stop you," Silas said. He was not in a good mood but he did want to know Spock. Silas loved his sister dearly, it was his parents and everyone else that looked down on him that he had a problem with.

"You want some tea or a beverage?" Silas asked. "Having a replicator in my room...I could get used to that," he said. "Vulcan blend #28, hot, please," Spock said. "Comin right up Silas said, and moved to the replicator. "Tea, hot, vulcan blend #28," He said and the tea materialized in a traditional Vulcan tea cup and saucer. SIlas set it down in front of Spock. Spock got right to the point as he touched the cup with his hand. The warmth of it made him feel more like he was back on Vulcan. He missed his home and his mother alot.

"I did some research on you last night. And I looked up your academic records. You were in the Tactical and Pilot school and the only first year cadet...ever to be apart of Red Squad, an elite squad of students. I've looked into Red Squad and those cadets are a fast track to becoming first rate Officers. If you were able to get in with them, you must have been doing well. You were near the top of every class and two instructors actually gave you glowing recommendations as part of your interview for Red Squad. And they, choose their members," Spock said.

Silas's mouth was hanging open. "How did you learn all that...in just one evening?" Silas asked amazed and then shook his head. "I don't want to talk about Red squad," He said. "Curious," Spock said now thinking he had stumbled onto something. "Some of your records were classified, I did not have sufficient clearance to view them," he said as he observed him.

Scarlett took her parents to the Market Plaza. She and Silas had been born in New York, and her parents and Silas still lived there, but the Market Plaza was beyond even anything one could find in New York...even Times Square. Her parents were extremely impressed and together they did some shopping and got something to eat. As they were walking past a lingerie store, Scarlett took note of something she knew that Spock would love to see her in. She decided she would come back later to buy it when her parents were gone. 

Her parents soon returned to their room and Scarlett returned to hers and Spock's. She hadn't heard from Spock and she hoped that he was doing alright with Silas. While she waited for him to return, she pulled out her PhD work and began reviewing it. She had been accepted into the Science PhD program at Stanford University and was doing her work remotely. Spock had been extremely proud of her for getting into that program and both he and Kirk were in full support of her.

"Silas, Scarlett is very worried about you. You occupy her thoughts often. Your parents are as well. I believe something happened that you and Starfleet has kept secret. It appears that, whatever it was, it damaged your career, damaged you so much that you left Starfleet," He said. Silas pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought about his time at the Academy. He honestly didn't want to talk about it but...

"If I tell you, will you keep it between us? If that is what you wish. Why don't you want your sister to know?" Spock asked. "She's the only one that cared about me...If she pulled away, then I have nothing," Silas said becoming upset. "Silas, you continue with the false assumption that her love and care for you, can be altered by anything you've done," Spock said. "From my experience, that is not a common thing, among humans," Spock said.

"I was in Red Squad...It was fun, you know? We got to take classes remotely, get priority access to all the sporting events. We were allowed to test the latest tech and everyone looked up to us," Silas said. "I met...a girl, well, she was a woman, she was a second year. The first Bajoran to join the academy. Miera," Silas said. "She was so beautiful," He said as tears fell down his cheeks. "She was beautiful and I killed her," Silas said. Spock's eyebrow drew up in surprise.

"You see...we were getting flight lessons, one on one. We were flying these T-52 fighters, the newest ones. They were small, fast and very maneuverable. We trained in them as much as we could. We were starting to train in tight formations. Nick...he was the head of Red Squad, wanted us to do something special for the commencement ceremony. We were training to do a coordinated flyby. It was an aggressive flight plan and I knew I wasn't ready. We were training to create a culvert starburst, just like the one that Red Squad did years ago. You see, we fly in a diamond formation and then turn 90 degrees and open our plasma vents at the same time. Then as we thrust up, it lights the plasma and creates a fiery star. I knew I wasn't ready but i didn't say anything. Miera...we were a 'thing'...you know?" Silas said as tears continued to pour down his face. "During training we tried it for the first time. I was so nervous. I wasn't ready but I said I was. I didn't want to let Nick down...the team down," He said. "But I did...I...I know I was too close and then my proximity alarm went off. I collided with her. I hit my emergency transport...everyone did and Meira....Miera didn't make it back," He said as he wiped his eyes with his forearm. Spock furled his brow.

"There had to be an investigation," Spock said. "Oh yes, there was...And Nick came to each of us to make certain our stories were straight. The Culvert maneuver was illegal and so...we lied about attempting it. We lied. I killed Miera and I lied about it," Silas said. "I went to Nick and I told him that I couldn't keep it all inside. I told him I needed to come clean and he said if I felt that way, I should resign," Silas said. "I didn't get kicked out, I left and the record of the incident was sealed. Miera died...I killed her and I walked away. The first Bajoran to join and I killed her Spock. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret that. It should have been me...IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!" Silas shouted as he broke into a fit of weeping. Spock just looked at him. Now it all made sense. His guilt had poisoned his mind.

"Silas, everyone makes mistakes. You were young, very young and you were not infallible. The lie was your only, real mistake. That and not being more open about the fact that you were not ready to perform the maneuver. A lapse in judgement," Spock said. He thought about everything a moment. "I could help you. I can't change the past, but I could help you get past this never ending cycle of guilt," Spock said. Silas looked at him. "What...what would you...do?" Silas asked nervously as he sniffled and wiped away more tears. "It is called mind meld. I can help you come to terms with what you did and purge your mind of its control over you," Spock said. Silas thought about that then looked up at him.

"Then I accept Spock," Silas said. "Then lets begin," Spock said as he brought his hands up to his face. My mind to your mind...." he began

-----------------

Spock came back to their hotel room. He stepped inside and found Scarlett at the table with her digital pen. She had digital books and was obviously doing her studies. Spock was feeling...decidedly odd. Some of the Mind Meld involved a mental transference and Silas's strong emotions had affected his own.

"Ah your studies?" Spock asked as he came up to her.

Scarlett was using the PEM techniques that Spock had been teaching her to help focus on her work instead of worrying about Silas. Thankfully, it was working. She had fallen behind a little bit over the last few days with everything that had been going on. She looked up when she heard the door open and looked at Spock as he walked over to her. As he approached her she got an odd feeling from him. She knew that something must have happened.

"So, what happened? Did he talk to you?"

"He did and I think it has helped him. He asked me not to tell you about it," Spock said. Spock was not feeling like himself. He felt...agitated. Impatient and he didn't know why. "I missed the mid day meal, you could have at least, gotten me something," Spock said as he moved toward the replicator. "Plomeek soup, hot, 12 ounces," Spock said to the replicator. The soup appeared in a large mug.

Scarlett was surprised by the sense of agitation she got from Spock. She looked over at him as walked over to the replicator. "I didn't know when you would be back," she told him. She stood up and walked over to him. "Are you feeling alright? You're not acting like yourself," she said with some worry in her voice. Scarlett had seen Spock agitated and upset before, but that had been when he was going through Pon Farr.

Spock was picking up...something from Scarlett. He wasn't certain, but there was worry or concern for him. "And how should I be acting?" Spock asked. His face was neutral but his emotions were spiking. He left the soup in the replicator and turned and put his hands on Scarlett. He felt a sudden desire for her. It was strong and urgent. He held her face gently and kissed her. And then his hands moved to her waist. Her things were on the table which was right next to the replicator and with one swipe, they were all on the floor. He hefted her up to sit on the table as his hands moved to her breasts and his kisses became much more passionate. His hands were strong and he had lifted up her shirt just above her bra and he was squeezing her breasts a bit roughly.

Scarlett was picking up a wide range of emotions from Spock. They were all over the place and quickly spiking. She suddenly sensed his strong desire for her and she felt his hands as they gently held her face. As he kissed her she kissed him back. However, things quickly began to escalate from gentle to rough. He swiped all of her things off of the table and then put her up onto it. She knew something was very wrong and when he began to squeeze her breasts very roughly. It hurt and Spock had never been this rough with her before, not even during their most passionate nights. She pulled back from him and looked at him. "Stop Spock," she demanded.

Spock felt anger come over him suddenly but he backed away from her. "Very well Scarlett, It probably gives you pleasure to deny my," Spock said then turned and moved into their bedroom. "I'm taking a shower...and then im going to get some work done on the Enterprise. At least, 'she' needs me," Spock said dryly as he began to take his clothes off.

Spock's last comment stuck out in Scarlett's mind. He was sounding a lot like her brother and the last thing he had said to her. She got down from the table and she walked over to him as he began to prepare to take a shower. "Spock, did you mind meld with Silas?" It certainly would explain his odd behavior...his feelings of agitation and anger.

Spock was outraged and he roughly moved and took hold of her arm. "I'm hungry, go make me something...NOW!" He yelled and he pushed her down onto the floor. Then he began to look at the hand that pushed her.


"I....yes...but...something...is...wrong," He said as the room began to spin and all went dark.

Scarlett trusted Spock like no one else. She knew that Spock would never intentionally hurt her, but even so, being shoved to the ground by him was terrifying and upsetting. She looked up at him with wide eyes and then she watched him as he suddenly lost consciousness. She got up to her feet and rushed over to him. 

"Spock? Spock?!" she cried urgently. She grabbed her communicator and called Dr. McCoy. "McCoy, something is wrong with Spock. I need your help."