Rogue Planet Stardate 2259.246

McCoy was considering his options but for now he just injected her with drugs to increase blood production since she was losing so much. Nathan wiped the blood from her as best he could as the nurses worked. Amara grabbed Nathan’s arm and he shifted so she’d lay back flat on the bed. Amara wasn’t crying out anymore, she had internalized it. A bad sign, Nathan thought. He didn’t know that he was crying. “I’m so sorry Amara,” he said as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Doctor...do something!” He said urgently. And then Amara felt no pain.

Above her bed her lifesigns moved back to nominal and the bleeding stopped. She was able to take a pain free breath and then another and another. It was just gone but there was an unspoken knowledge that it could return. Like a ticking clock that could return at any moment. McCoy scanned her again. “I don’t understand it...It’s just stopped,” he said.

Amara looked over at Nathan as her vitals continued to drop. She had stopped crying out...she had just accepted what was going to happen. She saw tears streaming down Nathan's cheeks and she wanted to tell him it was alright, but before she could open her mouth to speak the pain suddenly vanished. At first, Amara thought that she was on the cusp on death and that's why she no longer felt any pain, but then her vitals began to normalize and the bleeding stopped. She was able to breath easily, although she felt very weak. 

Amara thought about the nanobytes. They had been put there by Section 31. She had recently been given a mission that she had refused to complete. She understood exactly what had happened. "It was a warning...or a punishment by Section 31," she said weakly. "They gave me a mission that I refused to complete."

She then saw James out of the corner of her eye in the quarantine room. She looked at Nathan. "Would you go talk to him and let him know I'm ok?"

Nathan had been holding her hand the whole time and only then did he realize that. He nodded as he let her go then settled her arm across her middle. He wiped his face with his forearm but his uniform and face were covered in Amara’s blood. He stepped up to the containment room and hit the intercom. “She’s out of danger Captain,” Nathan said and he didn’t need to say who ‘she’ was. Kirk visibly relaxed. Scarlett wiped her face as she had also been crying.

McCoy came back and scanned Amara once more as the second nurse began to clean her up. “She’ll need a shower doctor,” she said. “Amara...your body will take a little bit to reproduce the lost blood but I’ll be damned if I can find anything wrong with you. Its as if nothing had happened,” he said. “Can you make it to the bathroom with help?” He asked.

After she had been cleaned up he didn’t have any reason to keep her so he released her to go rest. He had turned down the lights and he just sat beside Elyse. Her skin had red splotches now, as the virus continued to assault her body. He had tried everything and nothing had worked. Elyse’s body was damp from sweating and her hair was dark red and matted. He touched her hair, stroked it softly as he looked at her. She was dying and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. In a short fit of rage he threw the scanner. It hit the wall near one of the nurse’s stations and clattered down. Several things fell onto the floor in a scatter of plastic, metal and tempered glass that didn’t break. He felt something hit his foot and he bent down to see what it was. It was a small vial with a tooth in it. The one the nurse removed from Elyse’s cheek. He picked it up and looked at it. As he looked at it his mind began to think back. And then he rose a moment later.

McCoy removed the tooth and sliced a tiny speck of it to check under the microscope. Inside it were cells, he expected that but there was something else as well. He looked closer and then shifted to the image of the virus. He switched back and then back again. “Son of a bitch…” he said then hurried to the Intercom. “Bridge, this is McCoy. Spock, we need to return to the Rogue Planet as fast as possible,” McCoy said. “I think I know where the virus came from,” he said. “Yes Doctor,” Spock said. Fiona, plot a course back to the Rogue planet...maximum warp,” he said and both her and Sulu said. “I sir,”.

Amara was helped by a nurse back to her quarters. She showered while the nurse waited outside the bathroom in case she needed help. Amara looked down at the shower floor and saw so much blood run down the drain. She washed her entire body and then got out and dried off. The nurse helped her to get dressed and then got her into bed to rest. After the nurse left, Amara used her communicator to call Nathan. 

"Nathan, could you come to my quarters please?"

Nathan said he could and so before long he hit the chime on her door. He had since cleaned up and gotten in another uniform.

Amara let him in. She looked at him as he walked inside and the door closed behind him. She still felt weak so she had to go sit down. "I just wanted to say thank you for getting me to sickbay. And I'm also sorry you had to witness that."

Nathan wasn't certain what she was going to say but to his relief, it was a thank you. "It's alright Amara. You're a friend and a fellow officer. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you...well, almost nothing...if you asked it," he said. He and Lucia were on the 'outs' again in their on again, off again relationship. It was mostly 'her' wanting space or to fool around with someone else. Nathan loved her but wouldn't put up with that. Yet, he kept taking her back.

"I'm just glad you're alright. I guess we're headed back to that planet in a hurry...for Elyse," he said. "She...doesn't look good and the doctor doesn't know if there won't be permanent damage to her brain," he said trying to keep a level face for Amara's sake.

Amara nodded a little and was trying to be strong, but thinking about Elyse possibly dying was too much for her to handle. Elyse was her friend...the first friend she had ever had. She felt tears come to her eyes and she put her head in her hands and began to cry. 

"She's the first friend I ever had."

Nathan’s heart went out to Amara and he came over to her and put his arms around her. He kissed her hair. “It’s going to be alright Amara. We’re headed back and McCoy will find a cure for the virus,” he said and he rubbed her back. “Elyse is my friend too and We’ll see her up soon enough and being her usual snarky self,” he said to try and cheer her up.

After 24 hours Kirk, Kal, and Scarlett were released from quarantine. If they hadn’t shown symptoms by now then they were fine. Elyse, however, only got worse each hour that passed. She was still unconscious and her vitals continued to decline. She had a difficult time breathing now as well and had to be put on a ventilator.

McCoy hadn’t slept and one of the nurses approached him as he sat next to his dying wife. “Sir, you need to get some sleep.”

"Like hell I do, Where is Doctor Lagasho? I'm not leaving her unless Lagasho is here," McCoy said as he took Elyse's hand in his. She was younger than him but in many ways, more mature. Elyse was an excellent officer, a kind woman who cared about her friends, the crew and the ship. She didn't deserve to die like this," he thought as the bed normalized her breathing. He waited until the nurse left then turned back to Elyse.

"She's gone, we're alone again," he said with a sigh. "I can never get you alone enough for my liking," he said.

Kirk held Amara against them. They weren't wearing any clothes but before they made love she began to sob again. Kirk held her to him and felt her soft kisses on his chest. Damp eyes and damp cheeks looked up at him and he leaned down and kissed her. He tasted salt and the sweetness of her lips. She pulled him over onto her and held his face in her hands as he began to make love to her. He saw more tears but she would not want him to stop and so he didn't.

Afterward he laid on his side looking at her.

"If it was Section 31, we need to deal with whatever it is they asked you to do," Kirk reminded her.

Amara was still extremely upset over what had happened. Knowing that they could do that to her whenever they wanted...torture her, or even kill her made her feel ill. She hated that she was trapped...being used and forced to do what they wanted. She had not agreed to what they had done to her (or at least she didn't remember agreeing). She would never have a normal life...she would never be able to have children. James was the only person in her life that hadn't used her. He was the only truly good thing in her life.

She sighed and looked at him. "They want the brain stem of one of those creatures...Wraiths. I could have taken it from the one that died on the ship, but I didn't. I don't want to be controlled by them anymore."

Kirk shook his head. “Well you’re going to have to deal Amara!” Kirk said trying not to get angry. “You took that way out. The alternative is dying and that’s what you want Now?” Kirk asked her. “To die and say, to hell with it all? To hell with me?” He asked angrily.

Amara blinked at his response and how angry he got. She just laid there for a moment before her own anger began to bubble up. She got out of bed and began to get dressed. "I was trying to do the right thing James! I didn't know that they could use those Nanobytes against me like that because I don't everything I should about my own body because they ordered the data to be destroyed! I'm screwed either way though because either I don't do what Section 31 orders me to do and you get pissed at me, or I do what they order me to do and you get even more pissed at me!"

Kirk had had enough of Amara. She was acting like a helpless bird with a broken wing all the time and he was tired of it. He had a ship to run. He didn’t have time or energy to deal with her problems.

“You know, I think I liked you more when you were working for the Romulans!” Kirk snapped and stood up to glare at her.

Amara's eyes widened at what James said. She was genuinely hurt by that and she stood there for a moment. She had been trying to not be that woman anymore. She had been trying to be a better person. Tears came to her eyes for a moment but she blinked them back. "Fine! You don't want to be able to trust me? Then I'll give you that woman back! I'll do everything that Section 31 tells me to do without question! I'll be the most underhanded agent they have! But you had better not come to me and get pissed about what I'm doing because this is what you wanted!" 

She stormed out of their quarters and didn't come back.

Kirk did not go look for her, he did not have the energy or the mentality to deal with Amara right then. Elyse was dying and the ship was going as fast as it could back to the planet. But then, he might need Amara to communicate with those aliens. That and he'd have to try and make amends for killing them. That was not going to be easy. He slept...a little than just got up, dressed and moved onto the bridge. When morning came Amara would find him gone from their room. He was on the bridge as Alpha shift began to take the beta shift's places. "How much time to the planet?" Kirk asked no one imparticular. Fiona had just sat down and hearing him began to compute that.

"Uh...18 hours, Captain," she said.

McCoy was back at Elyse watch. Elyse was barely hanging on and her kidneys were beginning to fail. McCoy had to slow down her bodily functions to preserve what life she had left. He knew she was strong though. She had to be strong enough to make it.

Amara ended up staying with Sofia that night. She was much calmer when she woke up...but not necessarily in a good way. Amara was forcing herself back into Saehir's mindset...do what you must to survive. She couldn't have a conscience in order to do that. She had to numb herself to all feelings. She would kill one of those Wraiths and harvest the brainstem...exactly like James wanted her to do. 

She went back to their quarters to get dressed and then went to the bridge. She didn't even look at James as she sat down at her station.

Kirk watched Amara come onto the bridge and saw the cool, determined look on her face. He expected that. She was upset with him. He had said things he knew he should not have. The hours went by and he asked Alpha team to take breaks throughout the day so they'd be fresh enough to handle their arrival. It was dinnertime and he followed Amara out as she moved into the hall he stepped up beside her. "Amara, can we talk? In private?" he asked.

Amara did her job and only spoke when she needed to. If James looked at her, he would see the same determined, cold look in her eyes as when she was in the holodeck test facing off against Klingons. The warmth was gone from her face. Her friend was dying and now she finds out that her true self if not what her husband wants her to be. 

Amara wasn't hungry, but she was forced to leave the bridge for a break. She sensed James come up next to her. She heard what he said, but she didn't look at him. "If that's what you want Captain."

Kirk tried not to sigh as they moved into the turbolift. It took them to deck 5 and they headed back to their quarters. Inside he stopped her and turned her around. "I didn't mean what I said Amara. I'm under alot of stress and I almost lost you. I'm losing Elyse and i'm not certain my killing one of these Wraiths, is going to help matters. We need to communicate with them. I know you're angry with me," Kirk said.

Amara just looked at James for a long moment before finally speaking. "You know what I realized last night James? Is that you're exactly like everyone else in my life. I lick your emotional wounds and am always there for you and yet when the tables are turned I don't get what I give. You take what you need from me exactly like the Romulans and like Section 31." She saw the shocked look on his face at what she said. "Hurts, doesn't it?" she said as she thought again about what he had said to her last night. "However, you did make me realize that I've gone soft. Having a heart and conscience will do that to you. So, I'm going back to being Saehir. You did say you liked me better when I was working with the Romulans, right? Oh, and don't worry about the Wraiths. Once I kill one of them to harvest their brain stem they won't be concerned about what you did anymore. However, if you still need me to communicate with them I will."

Kirk was trying not to become angry but what she was saying was just crazy. "You don't just become different people Amara. You take the pieces of yourself that you need for the moment. You are all 3 women in one," he said. "I need all 3 Amara and I married you knowing all 3 existed within you. Or does that even matter anymore? You say you do not get what you give. Do you really believe that? I stuck out my neck for you Amara. I wanted you in my life and you are," Kirk said. "I can't solve all of our problems, I have alot of people that rely on me. So me asking you to solve this, you take it as you're only useful if you're Saehir? You know that's not true. I was upset and angry...I almost lost you...or is that what this is?" he asked. "You want to step away from me," Kirk asked.

Amara was teetering right on the edge of an emotional breakdown. She had turned away from him for a moment and she suddenly whipped back around and looked at him. "I need you to tell me what you want me to do! One day you tell me to just do whatever Section 31 instructs me to do and then the next you guilt me for it! I was trying to do the right thing this time," she said as tears began to flow down her cheeks. "But no matter what I do it's always the wrong thing." She turned her back to him as she tried to stifle her tears. She didn't need him thinking her weak on top of everything else.

"McCoy has the Wraith in stasis, ask him for the stem scan. And I told you. Do what you have to do as long as it doesn't cross the line of our mission. Section 31 has their own agendas. As long as their agenda doesn't harm the ship or its crew or its mission, than do what you need to do. I told you that," He said as he came up behind her and put his arms around her. "I can't be everything you need me to be either Amara. Not all of the time. I'm sorry I let you down sometimes. I am the Captain of this ship first," Kirk said. "Your husband second," He added.