The Price of Love (December 2011)

Natalya and Malcolm had been together now for close to four months. Natalya was still worried about the SSB finding her and so they were careful when they went out. Thankfully, this far, no one had recognized her. She wasn’t as well known as some of the others on the team, but she prepared herself for the fact that one day she would be recognized. Malcolm had learned to be patient with her and was starting to understand her quirks and needs. Logan seemed happy enough to help him and share what he knew about Natalya with him. There was one thing though that he had yet to experience...

It was nearly 3 am and Malcolm was asleep next to Natalya in her bed. Suddenly, she began talking in her sleep in Russian. She was mumbling under her breath but slowly her voice became more raised and she began trembling as she started shouting in her sleep.

Malcolm was in heaven these last 4 months. He had never met a woman like Natalya. Strong, confident, beautiful, intelligent and unafraid to try anything sexually that he wanted. For the most part Malcolm was fairly straightforward in what he liked but sometimes he wanted ‘other’ things and Natalya accommodated him. Sometimes she stayed at his place, sometimes he stayed at the tower. They went on dates out on the town. Malcolm usually wore sunglasses while natalya dressed inconspicuously and either wore her hair differently or wore a wig to help hide who she really was. They weren’t ‘really’ hiding but they weren’t trying to announce themselves to the world either. Malcolm didn’t mind the clothes, or the wigs. He kinda liked the variety of her look but she knew he loved her hair and loved to fall asleep with it touching his face in some way. That and the feel of her in his arms.

One night though, while he stayed in the tower in her room he awoke to the sound of her ranting. She was sweating and speaking in russian, he thought. The murmurs were soon replaced by words. The words were replaced by frantic utterances and then she began to scream. Malcolm didn’t know what to do, he began to panic. If he shook her he was afraid she might kill him. But he had to stop this...somehow...but how? Then he heard her door open and Logan rushed in. Wordlessly he gestured for Malcolm to get out of the bed. Malcolm complied and then Logan got in where he had been. With his arm under her head and his other arm over hers he pulled her toward him. “Its ok Natalya, shhh, shhh, its just a nightmare. Your safe Natalya, your safe in the tower...shhhhh, shhh, your safe,” he murmured as he kissed her forehead. Malcolm was stunned by what Logan was doing but it did seem to work as Natalya seemed to calm down.

As he watched her return to normal sleep Malcolm only sighed, feeling inadequate right then and left the room. He moved to the couch in the main living area and then laid down onto the couch.

Natalya slowly settled down. The mumbling subsided and she became peaceful again...or as peaceful as Natalya could get. Logan stayed with her and kept his arms tightly around her. When she woke up the next morning she thought it was Malcolm’s arms around her until she realized it was Logan. When he woke up he explained what had happened. She wanted to go out and check on Malcolm but Logan insisted that she let him sleep. Natalya went and took a shower and then walked back out into her room to get dressed. She and Logan were chatting as she took off her robe and began to get out clothes to put on.

Maclolm did not sleep well at all. What had happened had truly unsettled him. It wasn’t that he was weak minded. He just never dealt with anything like that. Malcolm had had a fairly sheltered life though he had done missions for SHIELD. He had been shot at by bullets, rockets, even planes but those things were not a real concern for him. Natalya was and he was afraid that whatever was causing those nightmares was something she had been dealing with for a long time. It galled that Logan was able to handle her where he could not. He liked that Natalya had a friend in him but the closeness between them...at times...made him wonder if He, or her, or both of them wished it had worked out between them. Malcolm was not used to feeling insecure but he did and he thought he knew why. Malcolm was in love with Natalya, problems and all. He yawned as he stood and craned his neck to crack it. It did crack and he stepped tiredly back toward her room.

For her nightmares it was almost like a habit. He heard her and he came and dealt with her. This time she had had after shocks and so he just stayed and fell asleep in the process. Now he leaned up against the wall and talked to her about Malcolm’s reaction to what had happened. He told her that he didn’t run or flee and he thought he might have tried something if he hadn’t stopped him and showed him what he needed to do. He didn;t stick around to watch though. Logan liked Natalya’s body, especially her butt. She was beautiful with clothes and without. She didn’t have an issue being undressed around him and he took none. It took alot to ruffle Logan’s feathers in that way but he still liked to look at her though, sometimes.

Malcolm opened the door and stepped inside. He expected her to still be in bed but she was not. She was completely nude though she held a pair of the black, laced panties that he liked in her hand. He turned his head and saw Logan and Logan casually turned and looked at him. He did look somewhat surprised at Malcolm’s entrance. Natalya saw the clear transition in Malcolm’s face. By now she knew all of his expressions and she saw surprise shift to outrage shift to hurt and confusion. “What the fuck!?” Malcolm said. Not loudly, softly in fact and him saying it soft like that seemed so much worse than if he had yelled it.

“Uh...I’ve got pancakes to make,” Logan said and had no qualms about leaving Natalya there alone with Malcolm. “Morning Malcolm,” he murmured and he was out the door.

Natalya and Logan were close. She owed her life to him. He had spared her life instead of killing her that day and had brought her here to start a new one. He was her best friend and Natalya was not shy when it came to her body. Logan had seen her naked countless times and it didn’t bother either of them. They were that comfortable around each other. Natalya had never even considered how Malcolm might react to such a situation. So when Malcolm walked in and became upset she was surprised. She blinked at him and watched Logan step out and close the door.

“What’s wrong?”

Malcolm looked and felt tired and this had just frayed his nerves.

“What’s wrong?” He began but her nakedness was distracting him. “Jees, put some clothes on!” He snapped. “Is this how you are with everyone? You just prance around in your birthday suit in front of everyone? I don’t line it Natalya, I don’t like it at all!” He said angrily.

Natalya sighed and began to get dressed. “No, I don’t do this with everyone. It’s not weird for Logan and I. We’re just comfortable with each other. We’re not sleeping together. I guess I don’t understand what the problem is with it.”

Malcolm rubbed his forehead. He wasn’t in the right temperament for this conversation , especially considering how much she frightened him last night. He tried not to look at her sexy curves or her firm breasts but it was difficult not to.

“I like that you and Logan are close. I really do but this,” he said and gestured to her. “This...belongs to me,” he said and he touched his chest. “Just like thiiiisss,” belongs to you,” he said. “I don’t show thiisss to anyone but you Natalya and I expect the same from you,” he said.

Natalya suddenly stiffened when Malcolm used the word 'belong'. She pulled on her pants as she started to become upset. "I don't 'belong' to anyone Malcolm. I used to belong to the SSB, but not anymore." That was a hot button word with her and though she knew Malcolm wasn't the SSB it still wasn't something she liked to hear.

Malcolm could see that this ‘thing my he and Natalya had was going south fast. He needed to open up to her but he was uncertain how she would react to it. They had been dating for months and he could scarcely think about anything else BUT her. He too a gamble now in hopes she might understand him a little better than she had. “Natalya...I’m in love with you. That’s what people in love expect. I expect that you don’t undress in front of other men. In turn I don’t undress and let other women look at my naked body,” Malcolm said.

Natalya was shocked by what Malcolm said and Malcolm would see the stress building in her eyes. Natalya had never been in love before and so she wasn't sure if she was in love with Malcolm or what she was feeling. She was worried that if she didn't say it back that he would become upset and breakup with her. However, she also didn't want to say it when she wasn't sure what she was feeling. In that moment she truly hated Tatiana for not letting her have a normal life. She felt like an alien trying to figure out how humans acted, behaved, and felt. She didn't realize it but tears came to her eyes.

"How can you love me? I'm such a mess."

Malcolm stepped up to Natalya. “I don’t understand it everything either, this is new to me to,” he said as he took her face in her hands. “ I don’t expect reciprocation, I just expect that if I have an issue with something, you’ll consider more than if you felt nothing for me. Well I’m asking you now. I don’t like to see you naked in front of other men. You can either ignore what I’m saying or be mindful of it. Its your choice. But I can’t be certain I’ll accept it if you deny my request. I do love you Natalya. But I don’t want you to say it back unless you feel as if you really mean it,” Malcolm said.

“I had a rough night with you freaking out on me,” he said as he kissed her cheek. I’m tired and horny and that’s not typically a good mix,” Malcolm said as he hugged her.

Natalya suddenly smiled a little. "Well, I know how to fix both those issues."

A little while later she lay with Malcolm in her bed. She was curled up against him and he had his arms around her. "I'll talk to Logan," she said softly after a while of comfortable silence between them. "However, I think you should talk to him too. Have him tell you what he does when I have nightmares. I'm sorry I freaked you out last night."

All the tension seeped out of Malcolm with what Natalya said. He was venturing into unknown territory with Natalya. His relationships never lasted months and she had...issues that he would need to learn how to handle. He felt that his needing to be away at times was probably a good thing. They had time apart and time together. And they seemed to get along very well when they had time together.

“I will talk to him,” Malcolm said. He needed to figure that whole thing out. He had slept with her several times but that was the first time it had happened so at least he knew it didn’t happen every night. “I take a few days off a couple times a year. Would you like to get away with me somewhere? Out of this cold?” He asked. “Or is this ‘Avenger Thing’ require you to be here?” Malcolm asked. “I mean...what if we continue to...you know, get closer. Could you stay at my place?” he said though he didn’t get into specifics about that. What he meant was ‘permanently’ stay at his place. Like she lived there instead of here. It wasn’t far but he guessed being a ‘super hero’ carried with it certain responsibilities. He wasn’t certain though if that would gel with what he wanted from her either.

Natalya was relieved that Malcolm was going to talk to Logan. She was very close with Logan and she wanted Malcolm to at least get along with him. Logan knew her better than anyone else and would be able to shed some light on some things that she either couldn't, or didn't want to talk about. She shifted a little to look up at him when he asked her to go on a trip with him. That made her a little anxious, but she knew that things like this would be good for her. "I could probably get away for a few days, but I wouldn't be able to stay at your place," she told him. "I'm needed here to train with the team and be ready at a moment's notice if we are needed. Doing this job...being an Avenger means a lot to me Malcolm and it helps me...a lot. I have structure, responsibility, and discipline here. I need to remain active, otherwise I would go crazy."

She then paused a moment before sitting up and looking at him. "Would you be interested in possibly joining the team?"

And here it comes. He had been waiting for her to ask this and now that she had he wasn’t certain how he felt about it. “How would that work? I have alot of people counting on me Natalya. Me, Malcolm Cross. I don’t know if adding people counting on me as an Avenger to...if it’s something I can even manage,” he said.

“And I’m not talking about you changing where you work. Only where you lay your head at night, next to mine,” he said as he looked up at her. “When I’m away you can stay here. When I’m here you can train, workout with your...team, and then come home to me,” he said. “And I’m not talking making all these changes immediately either. I don’t want to push you into anything. We can take it slow, as slow as you need. I’m just talking about the future I guess,” he said and leaned forward toward her. He reached out and held the back of her neck with his hand and rubbed it. “I want this to work Natalya and I need you,” Malcolm said.

Natalya sighed and thought about how Tony and Steve would react to her not actually living in the Tower...not to mention how Logan would react. She had a feeling that they wouldn't like it...at all. The team lived at the Tower so they could all be ready to leave at a moment's notice. Living away from the Tower would mean having to travel there and losing precious time.

"I will see what I can do," she finally told him. "I can't guarantee anything though."