The Complications of Love (October 2001)

Kate remained unconscious through the night. However, the bio bed monitored her vitals, which remained stable and strong. Tony had been understandably upset about what had happened at the factory and had gotten drunk and then slept in his lab. At some point during the night, Isabella had gone in there and had put a blanket around his shoulders and taken away the bottle of liquor. Steve had remained in the medical suite with Kate. 

The following morning, Kate slowly began to regain consciousness. Her head throbbed and she shook her head as she fought off the last bit of Loki's control. Her mind was fuzzy and she struggled to recall anything that had recently happened. She remembered returning to SHIELD and she remembered Steve breaking up with her, but after that she didn't recall much of anything. She tried to move her arms, but quickly found that they were strapped down. The movement would have awoken Steve, who had been sleeping in a chair near her.

It had been a very long night. Steve had moved a chair near the biobed that Kate had been strapped down to. They weren't certain if she was going to be still under Loki's control or not. Steve's heart was...conflicted. He could have lost her last night but was losing her like that any better than losing her by pushing her away? He didn't know. That was the problem. He didn't know anything about women and relationships.

When he heard some movement he yawned and stretched as he began to wake up. He lifted his head to find Kate looking at him. To his great relief, the iris's of her eyes were her normal blue. He sighed in relief. He touched his bruised face and cheek as he looked at her.

"Are you...you or...still under Loki's control?" Steve asked. It was a stupid question he thought but he wanted to start her talking.

Kate blinked at Steve, but slowly she started to remember the Tesseract and Loki. She remembered his staff touching her. The first time she had managed to fight off his control, but the second time....

"I'm me," she said. Steve released the straps on her wrists and she sat up and rubbed her wrists a little bit. She didn't look at Steve. She was still angry and upset at him. There was an awkwardness between them now. "Did I hurt anyone?"

"Well...just me," Steve said as he rubbed his jaw again. "You hit me with my own shield and then elbowed me in the mouth," he said. "But...you weren't yourself. You were very angry though. I remember that. I...guess you have a reason to be," Steve said. He wanted to talk to her about why he broke up with her like he did. He knew he had broke her heart. He didn't know if there was any way to come back from that but he wanted to try. He was in love with her for one. And letting her go was not the right answer. For either of them.

Kate was angry and extremely hurt. The wound in her heart was still open and raw. "Yeah, I did. I did exactly what you would have done Steve had the situation been reversed. However, I would have supported you because you were doing what needed to be done. Instead, you decided to end our two year relationship." She felt a few tears come to her eyes and she wiped them away with a shaky hand.

Steve took a moment to collect his thoughts. He wasn't perfect. Far from it. he had flaws just like everyone else. When it came to things like this...maybe more than most everyone else.

"Kate..." Steve began and felt butterflies in his stomach. That's what really taught him what was important. The feeling in his gut when he ended it with her. He thought there would be a relief but there was none. just the painful ache of loss. Which he had been trying to avoid in the first place.

"Can you accept my apology? I've never been in a serious relationship before. Here we are, risking our lives every day. And just thinking about losing you...I wasn't certain I could bare it. Not after...losing everyone else," He said. "I thought it might be easier...but...but it wasn't. I made a mistake Kate. And I'm sorry for how I made you feel," Steve said softly.

Kate wasn't sure what to say. She just sat there in silence. She knew she still loved Steve, but she was hurt and an apology wasn't going to just make that pain disappear. She was going to need time. 

"You aren't the only person who has lost people they loved. I lost both of my parents and then I thought I had found my family again with you and then I lost you too. I can't just make the pain of what you did stop. I do still love you Steve, but if you thought an apology was going to make things go back to the way they were before...what we took two years to get to, you were wrong."

Steve's brow furled at her words. In disgust with himself. He looked down at the floor and nodded in agreement. "I...I understand," Steve said. It was all he could really say. "Well, I'll, I'll help you move your stuff...if you want," Steve said and got up the courage to look her in the eyes. It wasn't easy but he did it. His cheeks felt warm though. He was pleased she was herself again. Pleased and relieved. He was beyond worried about her but he was afraid if he said that, she'd just get more angry at him.

Kate hated the awkwardness between them. She hated the pain he had caused her. She hated not being able to talk to her best friend. She hated knowing that she wasn't going to be sleeping in his arms that night. However, she also knew that she couldn't...not while she was still feeling what she was feeling. 

She moved her things back into her old apartment and after she had disappeared back into her room, Isabella walked to Steve's room and quietly walked in. She shut the door behind her and looked at him. "Just give her some time. She loves you. She'll be back. I think perhaps a little bit of space will ultimately be good for you both."

"I'm not so certain. Its not hard to love someone I think. It's much harder to keep on loving them, and living with them...wouldn't you say? We all know Tony is a handful. His expectations are crazy, he loves being the center of attention and he delegates everything he can if it keeps him in that lab," Steve said. "How do you do it?" He asked her.

Isabella sighed as she thought about Steve's question. "Tony is a handful. The man is a genius, but he can be childish and drive me crazy. However, there is no one else in this world who I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. When he puts his arms around me and looks at me like there are no other women on the planet he makes me feel special. But remember, Tony and I did break up. We were apart for several years before getting back together. Sometimes, you need time apart to realize what you have. Kate's gone through a lot recently. She's feeling very vulnerable right now. She needs time to relax and heal. Just give her the space she needs, but be willing to be there if she wants you to be. You two are going to come through this stronger as a couple."

And Steve hoped she was right.