The Road to Recovery (May 2000)

It had been difficult for Kate to leave SHIELD. SHIELD had always been her home and leaving it had not been easy for her. Isabella did her best to make the transition easier for Kate. The entire team welcomed her and made her feel included and wanted. Isabella had talked to Kate about not sleeping with Logan or Steve and Kate did not have a problem with that. She was still trying to get over Matt and figure out who she was now. She trained daily with the team and everyone was quite impressed by her fighting skills. The look on Logan's face when she defeated him was something Isabella was never going to forget. Tony put Kate through a number of cognitive tests and challenges and every time she figured it out. She seemed to just know things that were going to happen. 

Kate still wasn't sleeping well. She paced at night and had horrible nightmares. Dr. Strange finally gave her something to help her sleep better at night and that seemed to help with her mood swings. Kate could be perfectly calm one moment and then manic the next. Isabella knew she was going through a lot and she did whatever she could to help her. Phil continued to check in on her and Isabella had to reassure him that her recovery was going to take time. 

Kate had been there for a month now and during that entire time she hadn't left the Tower once. Dr. Lauren wanted her to get out, but Kate refused to leave. She was sitting in her room one sunny afternoon. The tv was on and she was looking in that general direction, but she wasn't really paying attention.

Steve had been impressed with Kate from the start. Everyone had. Save for her mood swings which they were all warned about. Dr. Monroe continued the weekly sessions in Kate's room. Kate's apartment had been decorated per her desires. Isabella had tried to get her more involved in that but Kate would not leave the tower. And everyone understood why. 2 years as someone's pawn and when Steve was informed of the extent of the control his face actually paled. Logan loved to spar with Kate. She was a very tough opponent and more often than not she ended up defeating him, which he actually appreciated about her, As a result he got better, everyone did.

It had been a month and Steve wanted to go out for an Ice Cream. Isabella did much to get them everything they needed or wanted but he wanted a flavor that they didn't have and he decided to see if Kate would go with him. It wasn't far, just 3 blocks away on foot. He knocked on her door. Once he heard her say 'Come in' he did.

"Hey uh, I'm going to get some Ice Cream. We ran out of what I like. Want to go? Its just 3 blocks. We will just walk. It's such a beautiful day," Steve said. There had been...moments where Steve and Kate had crossed paths. Steve was only in a towel. Kate was only in a towel. Steve was shirtless in the Gym. Kate had a towel around her waist and another one over her chest. She had had an entire conversation with him like that and it took everything Steve had to not look down. She was a very beautiful woman though she never wore makeup. That and they all had the 'sex' lecture from Isabella. But it was difficult 'not' to think about her in that way. And he had begun to have dreams about her though he was wondering if he should talk to Isabella about that. Now though, it was just about Ice Cream and getting Kate out into the sunshine for a bit.

Kate was slowly starting to get over Matt. At one time she had pictured them getting married, but now he was with someone else. The sting was fading away, but nights were when she missed him the most. It would have been easier to sleep with his arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly. Kate glanced over at Steve. Steve was incredibly handsome. She had learned about him in school, but now here she was working with him. He had a way of putting her at ease and making her feel calm. He always knew exactly what to say to her when she felt herself on the edge of breaking down. He never judged her and treated her fairly. In training sessions he pushed her, but he always knew when to stop. 

She turned off the tv and walked over and stood by the window and looked out over the city. "He's still out there somewhere. I...I don't know what I would do if he got a hold of me again..."

Steve wasn't going to push Kate. He figured she knew what her limits were but they had captured Lane...AKA The Mastermind. And that was The Mandarin's greatest tool he used to take control of her. "The Mastermind was the one that took control of you Kate. And he is in a cell drooling and having his bed sheets changed every day because his mind is gone. "the Mandarin is nothing by himself. He always needs others to be able to anything and we spoiled years of plans. More importantly, we got you back," Steve said in a way that alluded to that he thought it was the most important thing. "If it makes any difference, I will be there to protect you," Steve said with a smile. He knew full well that she didn't need it but he felt saying it like that...felt right. "C'mon...31 flavors?" Steve said sweetly and his smile nearly brightened the room right then.

When Steve smiled at her, Kate felt her heart almost flutter a little. His smile suddenly made her feel alive and as if she could tackle anything. She agreed to go get ice cream and together they left the Tower and walked several blocks to the shop. Kate ordered the mint chocolate chip and after Steve got his ice cream they headed outside to a park where they could sit on a bench. It was warm, but not overly hot and there was a light breeze that blew. 

"Before Mastermind and Mandarin got a hold of me I was in a relationship with a man that I thought I would marry. We were happy and even though I was being controlled I still thought about him every day. Then, when I come back I find out that he had moved on and was with someone else. I suppose I shouldn't have expected him to wait forever, but it still hurt."

Steve had gotten Butter Pecan and Toffee for his flavors. The park had alot of people. Mostly parents with their children playing. They found an empty bench and sat down.

"That's horrible Kate. We can't really blame him, he probably didn't get updates from SHIELD but it still horrible," Steve said. "I...had a girl...a woman back in 1945. Her name was Peggy. She was a soldier...a good woman. But...I felt the mission was more important. So many lives at stake. But there isn't a day that I don't think about her. Her and my best friend Bucky," Steve admitted. "I lost everyone...I mean, they lost me...I guess," He said, his ice cream forgotten and dripping onto his hand. "Oh boy!" He finally said when he felt the cold on his hand and he began to lick and eat the ice cream before it was everywhere.

Kate listened to him and strangely felt connected to him. She had gotten her ice cream in a cup and she couldn't help but smile at him as she watched him race to eat his ice cream cone before it melted all over him. "You are so handsome and adorable. Why aren't you in a relationship?"

Steve wasn't prepared for such a compliment and he had taken a too big a bite and gotten a brain freeze. he shook his head as he waited for it to go away. "Well...I...haven't met the right woman yet," Steve said honestly. "Being an Avenger...being known in the public eye...I just find it hard to trust people. I don't mean to brag but women come onto me alot," Steve said and he had barely been able to get out of the Ice Cream shop without being given a woman's number. "If I may be so bold Kate. You're a very beautiful woman. I don't think I could have rested until I found you," Steve said. Part of that was in hopes it helped her feel better. And part of that was just the truth. Her golden blonde hair looked soft and he wanted to touch it for some odd reason but his hands were sticky with Ice Cream.

Kate looked over at Steve and her eyes met his for a moment. His compliment had sincerely touched her and she began to feel a spark of something between them. However, what she had promised Isabella rang in her head and she didn't think Steve should get involved with her. She had...issues. 

"Thank you..." she said and then forced herself to look away.

"Kate...I...I have an important thing to ask you. It's something I've been wondering about for quite some time," Steve said as if what he had to ask was very important indeed. "Do you...uh...do you like baseball?" He asked as if it was a serious thing for him. Steve was crazy about baseball. There was nothing more American than baseball, mom and Apple pie. He didn't eat Apple Pie often but he LOVED baseball. It was his favorite game and he knew all the players and teams and statistics.

Kate suddenly felt her heart beginning to beat hard in her chest when Steve told her he had something important to ask her. She looked at him and wasn't sure what he was going to say, but she found herself strangely holding her breath. When he asked her if she liked baseball she couldn't help but notice that she felt both relieved and upset at the same time. She could tell though that he loved baseball and that it meant something to him. "I...I honestly don't know much about it," she told him and hoped she wouldn't disappoint him too much.

"Well, I was wondering, when the season starts, if you go with me to a game?" Steve asked. "I mean, if you'd think about it," Steve amended and then sighed. "Ya see. Isabella...she...she had Logan and I...well...I really like you Kate. But Isabella..." He said again and didn't know how to express what she had asked of them. he had agreed and made a promise and so he would not go back on that unless she said it was ok.

Kate looked over at Steve when he admitted that he liked her. She didn't need Steve to tell her what Isabella had said. "I agreed to that too," she told him. "But, we could always go as friends. I mean guys and girls can be friends after all and spend time together."

Steve thought about what she said and he nodded. A smile crept onto his face. "Well, I think that's true. Than I'd like to take you to a game...as a friend," Steve said as he flashed his pearly whites in a smile. He finished his ice cream and then slowly walked back to the tower. "What do you like to do Kate? I mean, you can't 'just' be a SHIELD agent?" he asked.

Kate walked next to Steve as they headed back to the Tower. "Well, for two years I didn't do anything that I wanted. However, before that, whenever I had free time, I liked to be outdoors...hiking, camping, horseback riding. I don't know...now though...I just feel...lost. In many ways I don't really know who I am anymore."

"Well, we'll just have to rediscover who Kate Blackwell is then," Steve said with a smile. When they got back no one really noticed them gone. Today was a free day. No training or exercising and Isabella would make a big meal. Steve took t heart that Kate liked doing things out of doors. He did too but something she had said gave him a very good idea to, perhaps, bring a little bit of happiness to her world. Maybe next Saturday," he decided.

Dinner was baked Spaghetti and salad and Garlic bread. Isabella poured the wine and Steve unconsciously sat next to Kate. Tony was telling them of the time that he and Isabella were in the cave together. They were both filthy and they were so hungry that they salivated like dogs whenever food was brought to them. Things got serious though when Isabella recounted her time alone after Tony had left. Everyone at the table was dead silent as they listened to her tale. Steve saw the grave look on Kate's face and he reached and laced his fingers into hers and gave her hand a comforting squeeze.

Kate had enjoyed the afternoon with Steve. She had been able to relax a little and getting outdoors felt good. Kate spent some time in her room before dinner and she couldn't help but notice that Steve sat next to her at the table. Serena was in her high chair and there was more spaghetti on her face than in her mouth. Kate knew some about Tony and Isabella's ordeal in Kazakhstan, but hearing it first hand was something entirely different. Tony made a few quips to try and lighten the mood, but anyone could see just how much what had happened had affected him. However, as Isabella began to speak about what had happened to her after Tony had gotten out Kate felt her heart began to race and flashes of horrific memories came back to her. She could remember everything that had been done to her...and that they had made her do. She remembered feeling trapped in her own body, unable to resist them. A wave of panic came over her and for a moment she considered fleeing the table when she suddenly felt Steve's hand take hers under the table. She felt his fingers interlace with her own and his touch began to calm her. She glanced over at him and her eyes met his for a moment. He would be able to see how grateful she was for what he had done reflected in them.