Mental Aftermath (April 2000)

Phil watched as Kate beat the tar out off 3 of their best agents skilled in hand to hand. He had gotten Kate back from the clutches of the Mandarin and Mastermind but she was not the same woman he knew. Kate had always been mild-mannered, kind, considerate, respectful in all things. Dedicated and into her work. Now she seemed to delight in hurting these men. Defeating them soundly. He had tried talking to her but she was so angry at being controlled that she was borderline unhinged. After her daily...exercise she had an our with Doctor Monroe, one of the best female psychologists in the world. SHIELD flew her in just for Kate and he hoped she'd be able to help her. The last agent slapped his hand on the mat and yielded to her. He cringed when she shoved his head into the mat just to be spiteful.

An hour later...

Dr. Monroe had bright red hair rolled up into a tight bun. She was older but there was no gray yet and she was quite pretty with flawlessly pale skin and dark green eyes. She wore rose framed glasses and her labcoat was pristine. She sat in a chair that was set out at the side of the room and there was a long, leather couch for Kate to sit or lay or do whatever she wanted. It was an office made up to Lauren's specifications. On the table in front of the couch she had Kate do a few mental puzzles. She did them quickly and Lauren wrote down her times.

"So, for 2 years you were forced to be this Mandarin's bodyguard. I would say that that is not so far and away from what you were doing here that there must have been...more to it then that. Do you want to talk about it? Nothing you say will go beyond this room," Lauren said.

Kate felt...angry. Angry at the Mandarin for using her against her will...angry at SHIELD for not finding a way to rescue her...angry at her parents for dying. She had been changed because of what had happened and she was angry most about that. She was suffering from nightmares and wasn’t sleeping well. She also had hallucinations and began to think she was going crazy. She had been a good fighter before the Mandarin, but now...the power she felt within herself scared her and it scared her that she took pleasure in taking down her fellow agents in training. They stood no chance against her because she seemed to know what they were going to do before they did it.

Kate didn’t want to talk to Phil, or anyone else. Thus, she was not happy to be dragged in to see a psychiatrist. Kate was clearly not comfortable and she kept fidgeting. However, Lauren’s question upset and angered her. “Do I want to talk about it? Do I want to talk about how for two years I was fully aware of everything I was doing...and what was being done to me, but couldn’t stop it? I was a fucking slave in my own body and I was made to do whatever the hell they wanted me to do!”

Lauren didn't react right away. She took a moment to digest everything. "Kate, you are so angry like anger is your first emotion. The way you fight, the way you look at the world. The way you look at me. Me, Phil, SHIELD, we are not against you. Phil did everything in his power and more to try to get you back. He threatened to leave SHIELD if Nick didn't use every resource to find you. It was that tenacity that allowed the Avengers to locate the complex and find you. "I take it being Mandarin's personal guard meant that you had to...do things. Hurt and kill people. What else did you experience? Was it just violence?" Lauren asked.

Kate got up and started pacing back and forth. She just couldn't sit still. It was almost as though she didn't know what to do with herself now that she wasn't being controlled. "Was it just violence?" she repeated back to Lauren and then laughed. She laughed almost manically and nearly doubled over. Then, just as suddenly as she started laughing she stopped and her face became hard and serious. "No. I was a slave and they could do whatever they wanted to me...whatever they wanted."

"So the violation was more than what they made you do. It was what they did to you. You knew and felt what was happening and could not do anything. Like your mind was tied up and you were forced to watch it all happen to your body. I can't even imagine how that must have felt. How that must feel now," she said then shifted in her chair.

"What we want to try to do here Kate is come to terms with everything that happened. These violations are apart of you, a part of your history now, not your future. You've gained some abilities...cognitive abilities that will take time for us to understand. Some of those puzzles are deemed impossible to complete by almost every standard we have. For you to be able to complete them means that you must be able to see whats going to happen before it happens. I've tried them hundreds of times and you just tried them once and completed them," Lauren said with more than a little amazement in her voice.

"Do you think SHIELD has what you need right now Kate? I think it would not be prudent to put you back out into the field. I think perhaps, reconnecting with the world is where we should start," she said as if it were just that easy but she saw Kate's expression.

"I know that is easier said than done, Baby steps. Go get a coffee or an Ice Cream. Go to the Zoo. Reconnect with Kate Blackwell. I recall you love horses. Is that still true?" Lauren asked. "Life is more than just beating people up," Lauren said as she made fists with her hands and punched the air a few times. "You need time to know that no one is controlling you now. Everything you do from here on out is because you decide it happens," Lauren said.

Kate ran her hands through her naturally blonde hair. Kate was quite beautiful. She never wore a lot of makeup and she had deep blue eyes. She sat down on the couch and looked down at the floor. "I had a boyfriend before all of this. His name was Matt. We had been together for almost two years. I thought we were going to get married, but I come back and find out he's moved on and found someone else. I feel alone and lost. SHIELD is supposed to be my home...but it doesn't feel like home anymore. I don't know where I belong or what I'm supposed to be doing."

Lauren listened as Kate began to speak. It was obvious to her that her life before all of this happened would never be the same again. Thus, she likely would not find solace in it. She needed something new, something different. She decided to talk to Phil after the session though clearly Kate would need many more sessions before she would be able to get over what had been done to her.

Later that afternoon in Phil's office.

"I think she needs to step away from SHIELD Phil. She needs new experiences, not more of the same. Her life has been turned upside down. Forced to hurt and kill people. They violated her body whenever it suited them and you know she's a beautiful woman. I can't even imagine that kind of power over someone. Two years of that torture. I'd like you to call Isabella Stark," Lauren said.

Phil sighed. He had practically raised Kate after her parents died. But he had seen how she treated those agents. She needed more than what he and SHIELD could give. "I'll call her," Phil agreed and Lauren smiled and nodded.

Later that Evening.

Tony brought Isabella the apple dumpling ala mode. He had bought them from Sullivan Street Bakery, one of the best in town. He set her up in their room. She had all the remotes beside her, magazines and books she had asked for. "Sarah's putting Serena down in the nursery. I'll go check on her in a bit," Tony said just as Isabella's phone rang. It was Phil Coulson.

Isabella had been put on some anti-depressants and those seemed to be helping her. Dr. Weston had suggested that she continue her bed rest for a few more days just to let her body fully recover. Tony had been nothing but attentive to her every need. He had barely spent any time in the lab and if he was away from her he was always just a call away. Steve and Logan knew what happened and they were on their best behaviors for her. They didn't want to stress her out. 

Isabella loved the Apple Dumpling ala mode from Sullivan Street Bakery and the fact that Tony had gone to get it for her actually made her smile. She was about to take a bite when her phone began to ring. She saw it was Phil Coulson and she immediately picked up. 

"Hi Phil."

"How are you doing Isabella? We heard what happened. You have my deepest condolences on the loss," Phil said. "I hope you get to feeling better soon. The other reason I called was to ask a big favor. Kate Blackwell. Now that she's out from under the Mandarins influence, she's been...well not herself. She is unsettled and angry. I think she could benefit from a change of scenery. I'd like you and Tony to take a look at her...for Avenger material. An honest look. She is going to therapy once a week and the Doctor has asked her to step out once a day. Reacquaint herself with the world. Do you think you can help her? I wouldn't ask but she's important to me, like a daughter," Phil said.

Isabella knew how important Kate was to Phil. He had acted as her guardian after her parents had been killed and it was clear to anyone who knew him that he cared greatly for her. However, he was asking a big favor. Kate was mentally unstable, although it had taken both Logan and Steve to take her down. That was impressive to say the least. They could use another person on the team.

"I'll talk to Tony and get back to you as soon as I can."

She hung up and she called Tony and asked him to return to their room. He pulled up a chair to sit next to her.

"Agent Coulson just called me about Kate Blackwell. She's apparently having a difficult time readjusting now that she's no longer under the Mandarin's control. The psychiatrist they hired has suggested that Kate get away from SHIELD for a while. Phil would like for you and I to consider bringing her here and evaluating her for the team. What do you think about this?"

Tony wasn't certain they needed another loose canon on the team but he knew of Isabella and Phil's respect for one another. And he had met Kate and thought she was a good Agent. "Well, if she doesn't work out then she doesn't work out. I'll let Steve know to expect her. But," he said as he held up a hand. "I want you to talk to her first. I don't want an Ava repeat here so I'd like it there was no...sex going on between anyone," Tony said dryly. "Logan has not been the same since Ava left so suddenly," Tony said and he gave Isabella a look of displeasure in that. He was furious when Isabella had suggested that she go and help out Frank.

Isabella sighed when Tony brought up Ava and Logan. She had been forced to tell Tony the truth after Ava told her she wasn't coming back. That had not been a pleasant conversation...that nor the conversation she had had with Logan. After the whole thing with "Colleen"/Natalya and now Ava, Logan was not a happy man...or, more correctly, more unhappy than he had been before. 

"Alright, I'll talk to her," she promised. She was only figuring that Logan would be a problem. Steve didn't really date and wasn't really the type to just sleep with a woman. "So, if there's no sex going on between anyone should you and I be sleeping in separate beds?" she teased with a little smile.

Tony's eyebrows raised. "Well, we can discuss that tonight. I'm not going to have access to you for a while but that doesn't mean we can't...do 'other' things," Tony said with a grin. "And I'll hold you to what you've said. With those conditions I'll accept her, for now," He said and took up her empty bowl. "I won't be long, I'm going to read to check on Serena then I'll be back," He said with a wink.

The next day Phil sat Kate down to talk to her about all of this. He wasn't certain how she was going to take it. "Kate, I've spoken to Isabella Stark about you. They want you to come to Stark Tower today and talk with them about joining the Avengers," Phil said.

Kate was in her room, which was where she spent nearly all of her time now. She was supposed to be getting out, but she didn't want to go out alone. She didn't want to admit it, but she was terrified that the Mandarin would find her again. She was wearing a pair of leggings and her SHIELD tee-shirt. It was well worn, but she liked it that way. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she was anxiously pacing back and forth when Phil walked in. She sat down and listened to what he told her. She found herself becoming rather upset at what he said.

"So, you're kicking me out of SHIELD? I've been here my entire life. I don't know those people."

Phil was in his usual suit. "Consider it more training. Another tour of duty. These are good people Kate. I've never asked you for anything but I'd like for you to give this an honest try. Will you do it...for me?" Phil said.

Kate sighed as she listened to Phil. He had done so much for her in the past and knowing that he had been looking for her all during the time she was gone made her care about him that much more. She was quiet a moment before finally responding.

"Ok...I'll do it...for you."

Phil smiled. "Well, then I guess you better pack. And I'll need your badge and your weapon," Phil said. 'And I hope you can find yourself again' He thought. He had been a wreck while she had been captured and he nearly quit SHIELD altogether. She was back now though and he would do what was best for her, not what was best for himself.

Later that evening...

Phil and Kate had driven over to the tower. She had several suit case of clothes and Stark Security gathered up the baggage and rolled it past them to the parcel elevator. Phil led her into the elevator and the doors closed. When they opened, Tony, Isabella, Strange, Steve and Logan were there waiting for them. Phil did the introductions.

"Kate, this is Tony and Isabella Stark, Steve Rogers, Stephen Strange and Logan Isabella smiled at Kate. Logan nodded Steve smiled as well and Strange extended his hand to her. "Miss Blackwell," He said with a nod of a bow.