How To Manage The Pain (July 1995)

Isabella sighed but followed Tony upstairs. For a brief moment when he asked her if she wanted something to drink, a memory flashed before her eyes of Tony and herself out on the soccer field. They were celebrating Tony's first sale of one of his inventions with a bottle of champagne. They were both underage, but they didn't care. They were young and happy and in love.

She was about to say that she just wanted water when Tony suddenly spoke over her. She blinked as she listened to him. She was rather surprised by his reaction. "Tony, are you listening to me? Your weapons are falling into the hands of criminals...no, being put into the hands of criminals. Someone in your company knows about this Tony. I refuse to believe its you."

Tony dropped a single ice cube into each glass and poured the whiskey. A smooth, strong and very old Irish whiskey. He picked up the glasses and moved up to her then handed her one. He took a sip of his as he thought about what she said. "Miss Corsetti," he began and stubbornly refused to use her first name. That name meant too much to him. He would not use it now. "We went international over 2 years ago and we did $16 billion in sales last year. We make weapons and medical supplies and emergency vehicles. We're not in the business of policing the theft of our own product. That would be under your jurisdiction, would it not? We are very selective in who we sell weapons to and our own military has greatly benefited from what we make. We save lives Miss Corsetti. American lives. We don't provide weapons to criminals just to make a sale," Tony said.

He was trying to tell her that they didn't need the few extra million that such sales would bring. He also suspected that she also just wanted to see him. He found it difficult to peel his eyes from hers. she was very beautiful and his heart ached just looking at her.

Isabella took the glass from Tony, but she didn't take a sip. Drinking would possibly compromise her judgement and she couldn't do that when it came to Tony. She sighed at what he said and looked away before looking back at him. Tony might notice she was wearing the necklace she had given him. It peeked out from under the blouse she had on.

"Tony, someone high up in the CIA is involved in this as well. I was just ordered this morning by my supervisor to ensure that everything we confiscated last night ends up on those ships to North Africa. This is bigger than just theft."

Isabella was talking but once she turned, once he saw the necklace. The one he ripped off of his neck and tossed onto the blanket he no longer cared about the weapons. He had not been fair to her back then. he dismissed her need to be independent and to follow her dreams. And she was living it now. He could see that she was an Agent just like she had wanted to be.

"Well, I'll have to let my man look into it," he said as if by wrote and it took a real effort to look away form the necklace. Why did he have the sudden urge to apologize to her? "I'm sorry Isabella," he said suddenly. "About how we left things. About how I acted," Tony said quickly as if it was something he dreaded to have to say. "You deserved...more," he said. "From me," He added belatedly. She might have heard how he all but caressed her name when he spoke it.

Isabella blinked at Tony’s sudden change of heart. His entire expression had suddenly changed and there was a softness to his gaze that caused her mouth to start to feel dry. When he apologized to her she was left rather speechless for a moment. The way he said her name almost brought tears to her eyes. She looked away from him for a moment before looking back into his eyes.

“I’m sorry too Tony.” She then looked down. “You were right. There’s a conspiracy going on and I’ve been pulled into it. This was not what I wanted...not what I thought it was going to be. I should have....” She didn’t finish her thought, but Tony might know what she was going to say.

His emotions were all jumbled up and what she said actually made him angry. He had strong feelings that revolved around Isabella. About what 'could have been'. But ultimately, she had made her decisions and those decisions did not include him. Now she was having doubts about working for one of the most corrupt and manipulative law enforcement organizations on the planet?

"Well, we all lay in the beds we've made for ourselves," he said as he took a large swallow from his drink and his face took on a neutral expression. For a moment he almost forgot who and what she was. She wasn't the girl that he had fallen in love with. She was a CIA Agent. He had to remember that despite how fast his heart was beating or how far his heart reached out to her. "Everyone answers to someone...well, mostly they do," he said arrogantly. He certainly didn't. Probably one of the few on the planet that didn't and he liked it that way. "This was what you wanted and no matter if you will admit it or not, there was no us in the path you took," Tony said coldly. "I think you know how to find your way out, Agent Corsetti" he said as he looked into her eyes with more than a little belligerence.

Isabella was left feeling like Tony had just slapped her hard across the face. For a brief moment she had thought...but now...now those thoughts vanished. This all suddenly felt eerily similar to their last parting. Isabella was crushed and felt her heart shattering all over again. She refused to cry in front of him this time, but Tony would be able to see in her eyes how she was feeling.

She put down the glass and turned to walk away. She paused for a brief moment. "Goodbye Tony," she said in just barely more than a whisper before she walked out.