The First Crush (November 2002)

“I don’t see a problem with this...as long as what you’re teaching is defensive. I’m not certain I want them capable of really hurting someone. Putting someone who attacks them on their butt sounds reasonable,” Tony said. He still didn’t totally trust Natalya. He saw her and James like ticking timebombs that could go off if certain conditions were met. But he had relented for Isabella and he would not take that back now.

Tony, Natalya and Isabella were in the office. Natalya and Isabella were in the 2 leather chairs and Tony sat on the edge of the desk with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing a Nirvana t-shirt with blue jeans and white tennis shoes. A down day for the tower.

“Isabella, do you have more to add?” Tony asked.

Isabella had been rather surprised when Natalya had asked to speak to Tony and herself. Natalya still tended to keep to herself, though she would join them for meals and for training with the team. Natalya had not been allowed to set foot outside the Tower since being brought there and Isabella could sense that perhaps Natalya was growing restless and bored. Having a task or goal was something that she felt would be good for her. This would also be good for the twins.

"I agree with what Tony has said. I'd rather them just learn defensive moves at this point. I think this will be good for them both. Theo especially. He seems to be lacking some confidence and I hope that at least knowing how to defend himself will bolster that some."

Natalya nodded in agreement to their conditions. They sounded reasonable to her. "Ok, then I will start their training this week. We'll just train three days a week for an hour each to start."

Not long after the short meeting the kids were informed and Theo went into Serena’s room. Like always he never knocked, he just came right in. Harry was testing with her right then. The past week after their date was a series of them trying to be alone while at school. A kiss and a short cuddle in between classes. It was difficult to be discreet but Harry had sensed her trepidation about open PDA and so far he had obliged her inclinations. That and the Sadie Hawkins dance at school was coming soon. It was up to the girls in this event to ask the boys to go with them. The event involved the girl taking the boy for a meal then to the dance. The original concept was for the girl to cook for her man and then take him to the dance that was held in the gym.

Theo plopped down on the end of her bed and rolled onto his back with a deep, anguished sigh. He was head over heels for Natalya but he felt an odd...coldness coming from her lately that was bothering him a great deal. He didn’t dare peep into her thoughts, not without her permission. He didn’t do that with anyone...well, mostly didn’t. He saw Serena close her phone abruptly.

“I’m not going to look Serena. What you and Harry do is your business,” Theo said though he knew full well what they were doing. He’d never say anything to their parents, especially their mother. “You got it bad, don’t ya?” he asked as he shifted to look at her. He looked and felt miserable. And he wanted to talk to her about everything but he wasn’t certain how to broach the subject with her.

Serena had finished her homework quickly that day so she could text with Harry. They had already planned their second date and now the Sadie Hawkins dance was coming up. Serena was excited about asking Harry. Thankfully, since confronting Jackie Pruitt and her entourage they had left her alone. However, she was excited about training with Natalya. She had seen her train with the team and Serena wanted to learn as much from her as possible.

Serena and Harry's texts were rather personal, but nothing inappropriate. All the same, Serena did not want her brother looking at what she was writing to him and she closed her phone. She could tell that something was bothering Theo. His mood had declined shortly after learning that he and Serena were going to be training with Natalya. She sat up and looked at him.

"Is something wrong Theo? I thought you would be excited about training with Natalya, but ever since Mom and Dad told us we were going to be doing that you've seemed...upset."

Now it came to it, giving voice to it all. To his feelings. For someone that could read someone so easily, why was it so hard to admit to someone, his own sister! How he felt!? He sat up and sighed again. “I’m in love Serena and I don’t know what to do about it!” He said in exasperation. He did not realize how vague he sounded.

Serena listened you her brother and blinked out of surprise when he told her he was in love. “You’re in love? With who? You’ve never mentioned liking a girl at school before. Is it Heather?”

Theo wanted to curse at himself for giving all of this voice. He had intended to just bear his love for Natalya in secret but now...now he felt that he really wanted to talk about it...to someone. “No...Natalya,” He said in a tone that displayed how miserable he was about it. “Oh Serena, I think about her all the time. I can’t focus on anything but her. I know she’s...she’s...a ‘woman’ but I can’t help it. Now that I’ve seen inside her head. I feel so bad for what’s been done to her. I want to comfort her and I can’t!” He said in an almost cry. He covered his face up with his hands.

“What am I going to do?” Theo asked desperately as he turned to look at her. His face had a pained desperate look.

Serena’s eyes widened in shock at what Theo said. He was in love with Natalya?! So many questions circulated through her mind. She looked at her brother and she could tell he wasn’t joking with her. She wasn’t entirely sure what to say to him. This was...huge!

“Theo, nothing can happen between the two of you,” she told him gently. She didn’t want him to think that she was angry at him or that he was in trouble. “It’s nice that you want to help her and care about her. Maybe you should not spend time with her outside of training. Maybe some distance would help.”

Theo’s head whipped around to face Serena and his mouth hung open. And then his brows turned down as open anger filtered down into his chest. Even thinking about just stepping away made butterflies as large as elephants swim in his stomach.

“I don’t believe you just said that!” he said and then stood and took 2 steps then stopped. He turned back toward her with an angry look.

“If I told you the things Harry’s been doing behind your back!” He said out of anger. It wasn’t true but coming from him, Serena would know he could know but kept it all to himself until now. He stormed off and went back to his own room and slammed his door. He didn’t mean to say what he said but he had lost his temper. He moved into his closet and shut it behind him then sat down on the floor. Before he knew it he was crying and he couldn’t stop the tears that fell down onto his cheeks.

Serena watched in shock as Theo became angry and started to leave her room. What he said about Harry though hurt her and caused her confidence in her relationship with Harry to falter. She watched Theo storm out of her room and just sat there for a long moment trying to pull herself together. Theo had just dropped a huge bomb on her. She hadn’t known what to say. He couldn’t think that a relationship between the two of them would actually work, did he?

Angry and upset, Serena did not go to him to talk and make up, like she usually did. Over the next few days they began their training with Natalya. Natalya could tell something odd was going on with them as they weren’t talking and there seemed to be a lot of tension between them. Serena wanted to enjoy the training, but she was distracted by her anger towards her brother.

The first week had been rough for the twins. Serena watched Harry like a hawk though his actions did not allude to her brother’s offhanded accusations. The doubt was there though and it had created a divide between them. The first day of training was just the basics. Basic stretches, calisthenics and exercises designed to limber and strengthen the body. The second was basic stances with an emphasis on balance, control and awareness of their surroundings. The third was Friday and Serena was supposed to go and pick out a dress for the Sadie Hawkins Dance tomorrow morning but Theo had all but ruined the glee she felt about it all. Doubt was a terrible thing and it held one in a kind of emotional purgatory. Harry knew something was up with her but Serena said everything was fine though it obviously wasn’t.

“Ok, now I showed you the basic stances I want you two to come together and oppose in those stances. Get used to proximity with an opponent,” she said as she moved Serena and corrected her stance then brought Theo in to stand right in front of her. He narrowed his eyes at her as Natalya turned her back and moved far enough away. Before she turned back though Theo spoke.

“How’s Harry’s harem doing?” Theo said under his breath.

Serena hated that Theo had managed to create this divide between Harry and herself. Things had been going so well up until then. Her heart told her that there was nothing to what Theo had said, but her brain was silently freaking out and she began to watch Harry at school. The Sadie Hawkins Dance was coming up and she was supposed to be excited to go with Harry, but at the moment she didn't feel that excitement at all.

This was their third day of training with Natalya and today she wanted the twins to oppose each other using the stances Natalya had taught them earlier in the week. Serena let Natalya correct her stance and as Theo came to stand in front of her the twins glared at each other. Serena heard what Harry said and her mood and expression darkened.

"Confessed your feelings to Natalya yet?" she replied under her breath.

“Damn you!” Theo said in an angry huff as he jumped on her. Serena had tried to shift out of the way but he managed to get under her right arm and pulled her down with him. “I hate you!” Theo growled as they rolled over and over. Theo pressed her chin up painfully as Serena pulled his hair to the side to get him to stop. Her pull hurt and tears came to Theo’s eyes.

Natalya turned in shock as she saw the twins start fighting. Her eyes grew large and she blinked confusedly. Then her mood darkened and she stepped up and picked them up by the scruffs of their white Gi’s that they wore for training. She slapped their hands away from one another.

“Ok, that’s enough!” She said forcefully. Theo stood with his arms crossed over his chest and wouldn’t look at Serena. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two but its going to stop right now. Theo, get yours arms up!” She commanded. At first Theo didn’t understand but then natalya forced his arms up and out at his sides.

“Serena, you too or I’ll find something worse!” Natalya warned. Once the kids were standing there with their arms out she nodded.

“Now you;re going to apologize to one another or you’ll remain like this until you do,’ she said plainly. “If you do not, we’re done and I won’t train you ever again,” she said and she meant it.

“Honestly, what’s going on?” She asked as she lifted Theo’s chin up to look into his eyes. He would not meet her eyes.

Serena had not expected Theo to attack her like he did and she felt unprepared. She tried to get out of the way, but Theo managed to pull her down onto the mat with him. They had not fought like this ever. Serena hated it. It felt...unnatural to her, but Theo had made her so upset!

Suddenly, she heard Natalya's angry voice and she felt herself being lifted up by the scruff of her training outfit. Natalya forced them to stand with their arms out to their sides. Serena felt extremely embarrassed and ashamed of herself as Natalya stood there looking at them. Serena sighed and looked at Theo.

"I'm sorry Theo. I don't want to fight with you anymore."

Theo was on the verge of breaking down already but Serena’s apology, the fact that this had been Theo’s fault, not hers made the apology so much worse. Theo broke down and hugged his sister tightly. “Im...so...sorry!” He wailed. “I didn’t mean what I said! There’s...nothing...going on with Harry!” he sobbed onto her shoulder.

Serena wrapped her arms around her brother and hugged him tightly as tears came to her own eyes. She hated fighting with him. She was relived to know for certain that there was nothing going on with Harry though.

Natalya watched the two of them and gave a nod of approval. "Ok, this is better. Let's hold off on training today. Why don't the two of you go and hang out together or a while?" Natalya was still aware of Theo's crush on her and she had a feeling that his behavior today might have had a little to do with that. She hoped that now those feelings would start to fade.

After a few moments and they both calmed down Theo looked at Serena. “You go ahead, I...I want to talk to Natalya,” Theo said softly. When Serena nodded he waited for her to hit the stairs before he turned around and faced the woman. Theo was a fairly shy boy but he needed to get this off of his chest. He had been carrying it around for too long and though the notion was completely absurd, it wasn't to him. The butterflies were now the size of dragons and he could not meet her eyes, at first.

“I...I’ve been wanting to tell you something Natalya, but...but I’m afraid what it will mean,” Theo began and then he got up the courage to look into her beautiful dark eyes. “I’m...I’m in love with you...not like a sister,” He said simply and his face looked completely miserable for it. “I feel a connection with you stronger than I’ve felt it with anyone. I can sense your pain and I want more than anything to stop it,” He said and was going to say more but the courage had left him and he looked down at the floor again.

Natalya knew what Theo was going to say before he said it. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she decided to let him speak and get this off his chest. His words were sincere and beautiful and they affected her more than she had been expecting.

She walked over and sat down on one of the benches and motioned for him to come sit next to her. This way they were more on the same level instead of her looking down at him.

“Theo, I truly appreciate everything you have done for me. You helped me when no one else would. I will always be in your debt for that. You gave me something no one else ever could...comfort. You are truly special Theo and I am honored to know you. However, I’m not the girl for you. I have no doubts though that you will find the girl you are meant to be with. You are handsome, kind, and have a loving heart. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I would like for us to remain friends though. However, if that is not something you want or don’t want to continue your training I will understand.”

Theo felt his heart twist inside of him and the butterflies threatened to escape out of his throat. He had a feeling Natalya was going to spurn his love but he didn’t know how much it would hurt. Her words were gentle but they bit into him as if he were being attacked by a wild dog. Tears slipped down onto his cheeks and he felt more sobs collect there at the back of his throat. He stood and took a few steps as tears fell down his cheeks. “Thank you for being honest,” He said and then ran for the stairs. He did not want her to see him cry. James, Steve and Kate were at the table talking over a nacho Steve made and saw Theo run past with tears in his eyes. James signed but said nothing.

“Well that can’t be good,” Steve murmured as he watched Theo run to his room and slam his door shut. Isabella was in her office when she heard the door slam and Tony was out at Stark industries on business.

Isabella heard a door slam as she worked in the office. She got up and stepped out onto the hallway. She wasn’t sure what was going on. She walked over to where Steve, James, and Kate sat.

“What happened?”

Kate looked at her. “We’re not sure. Theo appears to be upset about something.”

Isabella nodded and headed over to Theo’s room. She knocked on the door and then stepped inside. It upset her to see him so upset over something. “What is it? Did something happen?” she asked as she put her arms around him to comfort him.

Meanwhile, Natalya walked back upstairs and James would see her go into her room.

Theo buried his face into his pillow as he cried. He didn’t understand why this hurt so much. She was so much older than he was, an adult. One with real problems. He was just a kid. That was how he took it anyway and his heart ached for it. When he heard the knock he sat up quickly. As soon as he saw it was his mother though he collapsed as he sobbed into her arms.

“I...don’t...wanna...talk..about it,” Theo sobbed. Natalya had been his first real crush and they say that the first was always the hardest and it was hard. And he wanted to tell his mother everything but he was also afraid too that it would make everything weird in the tower. He would not do that to Natalya. It was already weird enough for her as it was. He was certain that all of this didn’t help. The rejection was embarrassing and horrible and he buried his face into his mother's shoulder until he had no more tears left. After that he laid down and went to sleep.

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James knocked and then ducked his head into Natalya’s apartment. “Hello?” he asked as he came in and shut the door behind him.

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“I wonder what this is all about?” Steve asked Kate. “Did you see Natalya’s face?” he said with a cringe. He couldn’t begin to know what happened.

Natalya was in the bathroom. She had pulled her hair back and was splashing some cold water onto her face. It had hurt her to reject Theo like that and she felt that she had lost him as a friend. She heard James approach and she grabbed a towel and dried her face.

“Theo confessed his feelings to me. I tried to let him down as gently as possible, but clearly I didn’t do as good a job as I wanted to.”

"I bet you did better than you think. There was no other way it could go," he said as he put his hands on her arms and rubbed them. "He will get over it, kids always do and he'll be his normal, moody self soon enough Natalya," James assured her. "You two share a connection that will remain far beyond...whatever this was," James said. He saw she was thinking about it. "Do you need to be alone?" He asked.

Kate and Steve saw Isabella come out of Theo's room and they watched her as she went back to her office. "How about we go out tonight?" Steve said. "Things seem tense tonight," he said but that would upset their plans to 'turn in early.' Which promised a long evening of sexi-time with one another before she had to go back to work.

Natalya hoped that James was right. She needed him to be right. She had never had a friend before and she hoped to keep Theo’s friendship. She looked up into James’ eyes as he rubbed her arms. “No, I don’t want to be alone.”

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Kate felt conflicted. She wanted to stay in with Steve, but things were tense in the Tower. “How about we go get some pizza and ice cream and then go back to my apartment?”

James took Natalya into his arms and kissed her cheek as he held her for a long while. After a time they moved to the living room and he turned on the TV. He invited Natalya to come and side next to him as they flipped through the vast amount of channels Tony had on the Cable system. He put his arm around her and they cuddled as she stopped him on a show she liked.

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“You know, I like the way you think Kate...lets go,” he said and this time ‘he’ had to pack a bag.

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Tony finally came home as Isabella was making dinner. He was in a good mood, the meeting had gone well with the board. Which likely meant that they agreed to do what he wanted. “Hello beautiful,” he said as he set his briefcase and keys on a chair near the kitchen. He moved around it into the kitchen to see what she was making.

“Alfredo...well, which one is feeling sad today?” Tony asked. Usually when Isabella made this, her children loved her alfredo pasta, one had either hurt themselves or had had a very bad day. “Well, I’ll go talk to him,” Tony said,” and after he kissed her hello he moved away and headed that way. He knocked then let himself into Theo’s room.

Theo was awake but he hadn’t moved from where he had laid down. “Hello father,” Theo said. His nose still sniffled, he had cried a bit more when he woke up. “What’s goin on tiger, mom says you’re having quite the day, wanna talk about it? It might help if you get it all off your chest,” Tony said.

“Its...its a girl,” He said and Tony nodded. “Oh, a girl huh, well I’ve been there partner,” he said as he gestured for Theo to sit up. When he did Tony gave him a hug and kissed his head. “You get your heart broken, they get their heart broken, the cycle never ends Theo,” Tony explained. “We men just gotta keep trying until we find that ‘one’ girl that changes everything. Like me and your mother,” he said. “But what if I found her already but she doesn’t feel the same?” Theo asked. “Well, look at it this way, there are billions of people in the world and you’ve only met a fraction of a percent of them personally. Believe me when I say you’ve not met her yet but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel sad when things don’t work out. When things work out, they just do and when it happens you’ll forget about this girl,” Tony assured him. “You hungry? Your mother’s making Alfredo…” He said with a smile. Theo smiled too and nodded. “Now that’s the Theo I know,” Tony said and stood up.

When Isabella looked back she saw both her boys coming out of Theo’s room. Serena came out as well sniffing the air with a smile.