A New Beginning (February 2012)

For the first two days Serena didn't come out of her room. Storm, Scott, or Jean would bring up food for her, but the left her be. Her mother had some clothes and other items sent over. Serena mostly stayed in bed as she tried to shut out the world. She wanted all life to stop, just as she felt her own life had stopped. But the world continued to turn and life went on around her. Finally, on the third day, Serena's curiosity about her new surroundings got the better of her and she ventured out of her room. Word had gotten out that Serena Stark was at the mansion and the other residents were curious about her, but they kept a respectful distance. They could all tell that she was going through a traumatic time. Serena explored the library and the other rooms she had access to.

As she reached the cafeteria she realized that she was hungry. She picked out a few things and then took a seat away from everyone else. Tucked underneath her shirt she felt the necklace Evan had given her for Christmas. She refused to take it off and kept it close to her heart. She reached a hand up and gripped it for a moment through her shirt before releasing it. A few tears came to her eyes, but she fought them back and tried to eat.

Gambit knew that this loss was not entirely his own but god did it feel like it. It had only been 2 days but he knew that the others would be counting on him. And also grieving for the loss in their own ways. Rogue was like the glue that held everyone together. Not that role would fall to him. Scott was the leader but there needed to be someone that brought up the rear and helped those that couldn’t go any more to keep going.

“I’m so sorry Gambit,” Storm said softly as she turned to face him in the food line. Several of the younger kids that knew and liked her, that knew and liked him all looked up when he came into the room. They watched him as he moved down the food line and made his selections. “Thanks,” He said and Storm couldn’t stop herself and hugged him. Rogue was her close friend and though Gambit and herself weren’t as close they were still friends. Gambit just held his tray though and did not hug her back. Silently and with a near scowl on his face he moved and took a seat.

As Serena ate she recalled a moment when Evan made her peanut butter on toast and fed it to her in bed. It was just a simple thing but she was starving and somehow, from his hand it was the best peanut butter and toast she had ever eaten. When she looked up, Evan was sitting across from her and he smiled and offered her a peanut butter and toast.

At the same time Rogue sat across from Gambit. She was beautiful with her auburn hair in loose curls that spilled down her back. “Hey sugah, don’t be sad, I’ll always be here,” She said as she pointed toward his heart. Gambit blinked and the image of her was gone and two tables down he saw someone that he had never seen before. She was young...beautifully so, with long, dark hair and dark eyes. Hauntingly sad eyes.

As Evan disappeared Serena saw a man sitting two tables down. He had wavy, brown hair and eyes that actually seemed to glow read. He looked...troubled or angry maybe and he was looking right at her. The man looked down at his tray and then suddenly became enraged and flung his tray onto the floor. He stood up and stalked away.

Serena's appetite really hadn't returned yet, but she knew that she needed to try and eat something. Suddenly, a memory of Evan feeding her peanut butter on toast came back to her. She had been working on a research paper until nearly 3 am and was starving, but too tired to make anything. Evan had brought it to her and fed her by his own hand. That had been the moment she had fallen in love with him. She could see him now sitting across from her. He looked just as he had that night. He smiled at her as he offered her peanut butter on toast. When she blinked Evan was gone and her eyes fell upon a man sitting two tables away from her. He was strikingly handsome with his wavy brown hair. His eyes were what drew her in though because the seemed to glow red. It was then that she noticed his expression. He seemed...angry and upset. She jumped when he suddenly became enraged and flung his tray onto the floor. Serena felt tears come to her eyes and she didn't want to cry in front of everyone so she got up and quickly went back to her room. Storm got up from the table where she had been sitting with Scott and Jean and she followed after Gambit.

"Listen, I know you're going through a lot right now, but so is that girl. You lost someone you loved and so did she. She doesn't deserve your anger."

ambit didn’t slow down. He felt like crying but lately it was coming out as anger. When Storm confronted him he stopped, turned and came up right to her. “And what about me...what do I ‘deserve’ Storm!?” Gambit said and for a brief moment his face broke. He schooled his expression but Storm saw the break and she pulled him aside. Gambit leaned back against the wall.

“It’s like half of myself is gone. The best half...The only half that mattered,” He said. He was beside himself with grief and he rubbed his face with his hands as he struggled not to break down in front of her. He shook his head.

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Hank had seen what happened and with his tray in hand he stepped up to Serena. “Mind if I sit with you?” He asked. Hank was in a blue t-shirt and blue jeans with white sneakers. He had black-rimmed glasses and smiled at her.

Storm sighed as she looked at Gambit. She could see he was barely holding himself together. This was not the strong, confident (sometimes to the point of being cocky) man she knew. "I can't say that I know what you're feeling Gambit...but Serena does. Talk to her. I think you two could really help each other out through everything you both are going through."

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Serena wiped away a few more tears from her eyes as Hank approached her. She shook her head when he asked if she minded if he sat with her. As he sat down she averted her gaze. She felt like she was on the verge of breaking down again.

“You’ll have to excuse Gambit,” Hank said as he sat down. “He’s also lost someone...2 days ago. Rogue and he were together,” He said. He knew Rogue but they weren’t really close. He worked with her but that was pretty much it. He took a bite of his macaroni and cheese. “I’m kinda like the resident ‘geek’ around here. “Sorta like Tony Stark...your father is for Stark Tower,” He said. “If you need anything tech related or just want to talk, I’m your guy,” He said and smiled at her.

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Gambit didn’t know why Storm was doing this. He was in mood to concern himself with another misfit mutant right now. Gambit shook his head. “Why are you hitting me with this right now Storm? I...don’t...care!” He said and pushed by her as he headed toward the orchard.

Later that night Serena found that she couldn't sleep again. Charles had been talking to Hank about getting her some sleeping pills and some antidepressants. She just found it almost impossible to sleep without Evan's strong, comforting arms around her. Also, whenever she closed her eyes Evan's half burned face came back to haunt her. She finally just gave up and sat up. It was close to 3 am. It was cold and snowing outside so she put on some warmer clothes. She then walked down to the library. No one else was up. She turned on the light and then walked around and looked at all of the books. She found one that sounded interesting and pulled it out. She sat down in one of the oversized, leather arm chairs and opened the book to the first page.

Gambit washed his face. As he looked at himself in the mirror he saw Rogue behind him. Felt her hands around his chest and her lips up against his back. “You comin ta bed sugah?’” She asked him. He liked how forward she was when she wanted him. The memory faded but he refused to just break down and sit in here like a weeping child. He needed to DO something. He needed to do something different.

He didn’t know why this ‘different’ thing had brought him to the library but it did. He was in a white t-shirt and gray jogging pants. He wore dark brown slippers and he scanned shelf after shelf of books. He wanted...something, ‘God, what the hell am I doing here?’ He asked himself. He had no idea what might even interest him.

The library was one of the places in the mansion that was restored instead of redone. It had alot of dark, polished wood and smelled of dust, books and ink. He moved around one shelf and began to search in another.

Serena heard someone come into the library from the other entrance. Whomever they were they were obviously having trouble making their selections as they moved from shelf to shelf. As her eyes followed the soft rustle of their feet on the tiles she saw the back of a man in a white t-shirt appear from one of the inner shelves. He scanned the shal against the wall and he hadn’t noticed her yet. He detected that there was light behind him and he turned and saw her sitting there. He turned back toward the shelf.

“Whats good for insomnia? I never know what to pick when I come in here..that’s probably why I always leave empty handed,” he said.

Serena heard someone come in to the library through the other entrance. The library was quite big for a private collection and featured a fireplace and lots of comfortable seating. Serena had chosen a seat by one of the windows. It was dark outside, but the light of the moon reflected off the snow and gave everything a beautiful glow.

Serena tried to go back to reading but she could hear the person moving from shelf to shelf. Then, she saw him from behind. She could tell just from the hair that it was the man from the cafeteria. He turned around and for a moment their eyes met. Then, he turned back around to the shelf he was looking at. She was surprised when he spoke to her and asked her for a suggestion of something to read that would help him to sleep. She sat there for a moment and looked down at the book in her hand. She then got up and walked over and handed it to him. It was a book of poetry.

"The rhythms in this are soothing. It should help you to sleep."

Now standing this close to her Gambit would be able to see how red her eyes were from crying and lack of sleep. She hadn't worn makeup in days and the dark circles under her eyes were becoming more pronounced.

"I...I'm sorry for you loss."

Gambit felt the warmth in the woman’s words and looked into her tired eyes. Whether she knew how she sounded, to him anyway had yet to be seen. He looked down at the book. He knew very little about...poetry. He had never even heard much of it. What she said though, instead of having the desired effect, made him furl his brow.

“Don’t do that…’don’t’ feel sorry for me. That’s all I hear is how people are ‘sorry’ for my loss,” He said in obvious irritation. “Rogue taught me love...how can I be sorry for that?” He said. “She lit up every room she walked into. Her voice was musical and made you smile when you heard it,” he said. He smiled, a warm smile. But it didn’t last very long, a few moments at most before the furled brow came back. He handed the book back to her.

“By how your eyes look I think you need it more than I do,” He said rudely and then headed past her toward the exit.

Serena was visibly shocked by Gambit's strong reaction. She blinked and stood there a moment as the book of poetry was shoved back into her hands. She became upset and angry as she watched him turn to leave. She then did something she never thought she would ever do. She hurled the book at his back. It wasn't a very large book and was a paperback so it wouldn't have really hurt him, but he seemed surprised nonetheless.

"Screw you you asshole!" she practically shouted at him. "I was trying to honestly help you and this is your reaction? Well, I've learned my lesson and I bet everyone else here is going to start to feel the same way if you continue to behave this way. I lost someone I loved too," she said as her voice wavered and broke as tears came to her eyes. "And I offered you the one thing that I thought would help me through my grief because you were grieving too and you insult me. You are the biggest asshole I have ever met."

Gambit felt the book hit him in the back. He stopped and his eyes goggled in outrage as he turned back to face her. What she told him embarrassed him to the point spots of color came out onto his cheeks. She had also angered him but he kept a hold on his temper, for now those his red eyes shone in the dim light.

“This man you mourn, would he want you to spend your days wasting away? Reading...bad poetry so you can sleep at night? I think not. I think he’d want you to remember him yeh? And get on with your life,” Gambit said. “I don’t ‘need’ people to feel sorry for me. I ‘want’ to get on with my life. I will always remember Rogue and the love we shared. I am a man of passions and a lust for life,” He said and then his temper had snapped like a dry branch under a boot and he took a step toward her. He knew who she was...now. Everyone had alot to say about ‘Serena Stark’.

“But she was the only family I had so don’t you EVER compare yourself to me cheri! You are a Stark with a family that loves you! You have wealth, power, anything you want at your fingertips. So run along little dove, your tears insult the dead,” Gambit said.

Serena felt her cheeks burn hot like irons at Gambit’s words. How dare he?! Who the hell did he think he was?! She began trembling and she suddenly raised a hand and slapped him hard across the face. When he turned his head back she slapped him again. She then stood there for a long moment as she looked at him.

“You know NOTHING about me!”

She pushed past him and went straight up to her room. She shut and locked the door and then sank to the floor and began to cry.