On A Need To Know Basis

Peter wasn't happy at all that Serena kept things from him. More and more since Venom he had the feeling that Serena and others kept alot from him. At first he wasn't certain how that made him feel. Obviously they were trying to protect him. But now he was certain that he didn't like that. He wasn't a child but they treated him like he didn't need to know. Well having a child was definitely something he needed to know. And she kept it from him up until she no longer really could. This other thing...between her and Logan. He knew even less about but he knew it existed. For some reason he felt that was about something much more serious but they chose to keep it from him. He wasn’t certain if anyone else was in on that though and he never asked about it.

Indeed Peter loved Serena. He felt so strongly about her, essentially his high school sweetheart, that he never thought about other women. She was beautiful with large, dark eyes, long, thick dark hair and a knockout body. Even the few freckles on her face were adorable and he could stare at her for hours. She was intelligent, a scientist and a hero. So why did he feel like they weren’t equals? Why did she treat him like they weren’t? He didn't know he only knew he needed to be her equal or it was going to strain their relationship.

The days that followed the miscarriage was a lesson in patience for Peter. He desperately wanted to clear the air with her about it but he wasn’t certain when it would be appropriate to come down on her about keeping it from him. They didn’t have sex and there were moments when she just stared off at nothing. She had bad dreams as well and all he could do is be there for her...when she wanted him anyway.

The next morning he made them berry and granola yogurt parfaits and he also made her a latte with her favorite flavored creamer and even put whipped cream on top. This morning they had to get up extra early. They had an impending mission coming up. One last Hydra base and then Hydra was more or less out of North America. They had a scouting mission together which was rare.

Peter looked at her as he ate a spoonful of his parfait. “I wanted to talk to you...about...what happened,” Peter said. “Are you ok to talk about it?” he asked softly. The tower was so quiet this early and there was only the hum of the kitchen appliances besides the sounds of them eating.

Over the next few days Serena continued to process everything that had happened. Kate hadn't told anyone, including Steve, so the only other person who knew was Peter. Serena wasn't entirely sure how she felt about everything. She hadn't been ready to have a baby, but she had started to come to terms with it and had been ready to tell Peter. She knew that they would have dealt with it together and that everything would have been alright. At this point she was just hoping that she would still be able to conceive later on when she and Peter were ready to have a baby together.

Peter had been patient with her the last few days and had been taking care of her. She truly didn't know what she would do without him, but she could sense that he wanted to talk to her about what had happened.

That morning she and Peter were up very early. They had a scouting mission together and they were eating breakfast before they needed to leave. Peter had made them yogurt parfaits and had made her a latte with her favorite creamer and whipped cream on top. Just knowing that he had made this for her caused her heart to swell with love for him. There was no one else in the world like Peter Parker and she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

She had taken a sip of her latte when Peter told her that he wanted to talk about what had happened. She slowly nodded and put down the coffee cup. She looked at him and waited for him to speak.

Now it came to it and Peter wanted to take back his desire to talk about this. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation he knew. And he also knew that saying what he needed to say without upsetting her was also very unlikely. He took in a breath and just let his feelings come out.

“I didn’t like you not telling me that you were pregnant. We are a team Serena, a couple in every sense of what it means to be a couple. I’m not talking about little white lies like when we ask one another how we’re feeling and we just say ‘ok’. You were ‘not’ ok when I asked you what was wrong. You lied to me I want to know why,” Peter said plainly. He didn’t exhibit anger toward her and his interpretation of what went down might not be hers either. But he needed to know.

Serena knew what Peter was going to say before he said it. She knew him too well not to know what he was going to say. However, she remained silent and calm and listened to him. Even though she had known what he was going to say, hearing him say it still caused her to become upset. However, she took a deep breath and calmly responded back to him.

"Peter, I honestly can't describe how I felt when I realized I was pregnant. I was in shock...I was upset...I was panicked. You and I were not prepared for this...I wasn't prepared for this. For a woman who isn't prepared to be pregnant, finding out you're pregnant is...terrifying. It's easier for the guy because he doesn't have to go through the pregnancy, or the birth, or be the primary caregiver of this living thing that is going to rely on you for the next 18 years of its life. Yes, you and I are partners, but when it comes to something like this...there is no equal ground. I was going to tell you Peter. I was actually going to tell you the day I miscarried. I had only found out two days earlier and I just needed time to work things out in my head and in my heart." She reached out and took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Can you understand that?"

Peter listened intently to what Serena said. The first part of her explanation actually angered him. The second part he could get behind but saying its ‘Easier?’ For the guy? Did she really just say that? He kept his cool though...mostly.

“Easier,” he said as if tasting the word. “Why because physically we’re not the one pregnant? That is not very fair Serena. My responsibility is you and the baby even if it was born or not. I appreciate you thinking about telling me but you didn’t and if you were afraid you should have come to me with your fear. I would never let you go through the pregnancy or the birth or feedings or changings or whatever else alone. And I think that as soon as it’s not breastfeeding, we could ‘share’ the ‘primary’ care-giving responsibilities. But I don’t think that that is what this is about at all.

“You’re not certain if you can or even ‘want’ to rely on me for something like this. And that’s whats really bothering me. This is just like that ‘thing’ you have going on with Logan. I needed your help with Venom. I admit that but I am strong enough to take responsibility for my actions and that includes getting you pregnant. I took part in that and you decided ‘on your own’ to make those decisions for us. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel Serena?” He said hoping he didn’t come off to harsh. He didn’t raise his voice but his words were short.

Serena felt tears come to her eyes at what Peter said. Did he really believe that? Did he really believe that she didn't think she could or wanted to rely on him? That hurt. It hurt far worse than anything else Peter ever could have said to her. She closed her eyes as tears began to slip down her cheeks. "I can't believe that you think that Peter because it is not true. It's the farthest from the truth. I love you so much Peter and I can't stand fighting with you. It makes me sick to my stomach." She was nearly sobbing now. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you...I truly am, but I was going to tell you Peter. Please...you have to believe that."

If Peter could do anything he would never see Serena cry. It made his insides turn to jello. Knowing he was the cause made it much worse. But he had come this far he needed to continue. He needed to go on or never bring this up again and not get out what he needed to. And he did need to. She needed to understand that he was a man who could handle whatever she threw at him. And she didn’t believe that right now no matter what she said.

“What about this other thing? What about this thing you and Logan know but won’t tell me?” He asked and reached across the table and took her hand. Ignoring her crying was almost impossible but he pressed on relentlessly. “You can tell me Serena, I know you want to. Whatever it is I can handle it,” He said not realizing at all what it could be about. Certainly not having the fate of the world itself on his shoulders.

Serena knew she shouldn't tell Peter, but she was tired of lying to him and clearly he felt he wasn't going to be able to trust her if she didn't tell him. The weight of this on her shoulders was enormous, although she feared if she told him the truth that it would be the end of their relationship. However, he wanted to know.

"Peter...I tried to tell you once, but you didn't believe me. In fact, you laughed at me. Why should I think you will believe me now?"

In a moment of weakness Peter narrowed his eyes at her, suspicious that she was once again manipulating him. Why she felt she had to do that he didn’t know but he knew full well from Tony and Steve and Logan that women sometimes did this as if it were some kind of art form. Well he knew he didn’t like it and he let go of her hand and got up from the table.

“You know what? I’m done talking to you. Keep your god damn secrets,” he said angrily as he moved to the sink and rinsed out his parfait glass. “We have a mission to get through, be ready in 10,” he said peevishly. (If she tries to speak to him more he will get even more angry and shut her down before she can get through it)

Serena didn't know what to say. She had been trying to tell him the truth and now he was just even angrier at her. Well, that made her angry and upset. She stood up and she looked at him. "I don't know what you want from me Peter. You're pissed off because I waited two days to tell you I was pregnant. Well that's not fair to me Peter. And now you're pissed off because I tried to tell the truth about what's going on and you choose once again not to believe me? A relationship is built on trust Peter. I trust you completely, but it's becoming evident that you don't trust me. You need to take some time to figure out if you even still want to be in a relationship with me because without trust we have nothing."

She didn't wait for him to respond because she truly did want him to think about what she had said. Instead, she went to go get ready to go.

It was a brief moment but he had considered webbing her mouth shut. He was far past tired of hearing her bullshit. She was most definitely a Stark in every sense of the word.

For their mission he had to piggyback on her which was somewhat degrading. As soon as she got close though he launched himself off and glided down to the roof of one of the many buildings that surrounded what they knew was their base. Peter had gone into stealth mode and his suit went dark as he hunkered down on the roof.

“The eastern side is all quiet,” he said rigidly. He wasn’t certain where she was now and he looked down and used his suit’s special vision to see inside the walls. Hydra liked having all of their more sensitive labs and storage below ground. The used dampening fields to keep unwanted eyes from looking at what they were doing and by now Tony’s satellite knew what to look for.

“There’s at least a dozen guards on the surround and another dozen inside just like the last one,” Peter said. “There’s 3 elevators and one freight elevator,” He added.

Peter could get mad at her all he wanted because she had meant what she said. He had trust issues with her and always had. She didn’t know where those issues came from though. Relationships were built on trust and if Peter couldn’t trust her then they didn’t need to be together.

They didn’t speak on the way to the base. Once there Peter went off on his own. Serena had a slightly more dangerous job. She had to hover in the air and get full scans on the building so the team would know what the interior looked like. It made their job much easier and faster in the long run. She began to run the scans on the building. She had a stealth mode on her suit but it didn’t make her completely invisible.

“Solstace what is your location? There is a change in their stance,” Peter said. And yes he used her ‘official’ hero name. If she was going to be difficult he would be as well. He could see them moving quickly. In Serena’s helmet her HUD lit up like a christmas tree. Something or someone was trying to get a target lock on her. Her suit had defenses against that, especially hers but she knew the longer they tagged her like this, the more likely that their targeting computer would resolve itself. WIth a target lock it wouldn’t matter where she went they could fire at her at range.

Peter ofcourse didn’t know any of that. He could only observe what they were doing. “They just attached something to a tripod. “Solstace, what's happening, report?” he asked commandingly.

Solstice was almost finished with the scans but she quickly became aware that she had been spotted and was now being targeted. She muttered a new curse words under her breath but continued to scan. She was so close to being finished.

“They’re targeting me, but I’m almost done with the scan.”

Peter’s vision zoomed in and he saw them shifting the weapon upward. “I think they see you, abort,” He said when he heard her say she was almost done he cursed. “No, abort now...abort, abort,” he repeated. ‘No 10 more seconds’ He heard her say and she could see the scan bar filling up quickly but in a situation like this one it felt terribly slow.

“Serena?” He said again and Serena’s HUD saw that they had a lock on her. “Fuck!” Peter said angrily and jumped off of the roof. Serena’s scan bar was nearly complete, just a few more seconds.

Peter glided down and webbed one of the light stands in the courtyard of the building. He swung into them just as they were about to fire the rocket launcher. He shot tazing webs on them then took his fist and punched through the targeting computer. He then bent the rocket tube so it couldn't fire at all. Just as Serena’s scan completed she heard rapid gunfire down in the courtyard. More guards had come but Peter had already swung back up and was swinging away. He landed on the side of the eastern building again and then crawled up onto the roof quickly. He shot the flare into the air though it was something only Serena would be able to see to show her he was ready for pick up.

Serena had completely the mission but they both failed it as well because they were detected. Now most likely their security will be on alert for their impending assault on the base. They needed those scans but non-detection was arguably just as important.

Serena knew she had screwed up. She had been so close to getting the full scan. She had only needed a few more seconds. She was emotionally compromised over the miscarriage and her conversation with Peter before they had left and it had affected her. She would take full responsibility for what had happened.

She picked up Peter and they headed back to the Tower. She didn’t say anything until they landed. “It was my fault,” she told him. “I’ll take full responsibility.”

Peter’s pulled off his mask and brow furled though he managed to keep his face mostly calm. “I was mission leader so it’s on me,” he said plainly but it was obvious he was also troubled. He wondered if he truly was the problem between them but his look soured once more anyway as he looked at her. For the most what he said was true because he was alot closer to the ground than she would be but with just the two of them he was just being stubborn. And he felt stubborn to. She was getting inside his head and he hated it when she did that. It was effortless for her and he hated that to.

He didn’t say anything more to her as they stepped inside. He noticed she walked next to him as he shifted toward Tony and Isabella’s office. “What are you doing? I said I’ll handle it,” Peter said and tried not to sound angry.

Serena was not handling her miscarriage very well. She was trying to be strong and jump right back into work and missions and perhaps that hadn’t been the right choice. She was also upset that Peter was angry with her. She didn’t know what to do to fix things between them at this point.

She heard what Peter said but she ignored him. She wasn’t going to let him take the fall for her mistake. She continued to walk beside him towards her parents office. “I’m not going to let you take the fall for my mistake Peter. I don’t care what you say.”

“No Serena You always…” he began than in a fit of exasperation he just let her have it. He casually webbed her left foot to the floor and stepped in front of her. “I’m doing this,” he said.

Serena blinked in surprise when Peter webbed her left foot to the floor. She then started to become more angry and she used an energy blast to cut through the webbing to release her foot and then fired a very small energy orb at him. It wasn’t emotionally hurt him, but enough to push him into the wall.

“No, I’m doing this,” she told him before walking past him.

Peter was caught completely off guard by the sudden jolt of force. He just managed to get his hands up in time to stop his face from hitting it. He bounded back and saw her ready herself. Instead of touching her though He webbed her waist then Pulled and webbed the ceiling. Like a rubber band she bounced up and hung there upside down as he narrowed his eyes at her as he passed her.

“Hang out for a bit, this is my responsibility,” He said with a grin. For some reason this kind of banter made him feel…relieved? Less tense? He wasn't certain but he stepped around her haughtily with almost a defiant swagger.

Serena was still upset, but she could feel the tension between them dissipate somewhat. As she hung there from the ceiling she began to think perhaps she had been beaten by him, but she wasn’t going to let him win.

She focused on the area just in front of the office door and formed an energy shield. Then, when Peter stopped walking she formed it around him entirely so he wouldn’t be able to move.

“Give up Parker,” she said with the hint of a grin. “I’ve got you surrounded.”

Peter touched the shield but like a fly in a web he was trapped. His gloved hands were against the shield and he could do nothing but watch her casually walk around him and he guessed if she wasn’t in that suit it would have been more of an arrogant saunter. He sighed as she closed the door behind her and the shield dissipated. He relented and went back to their room to take a shower.

Isabella looked up from her laptop. “And what was all that about Serena? Trouble in paradise?” She asked.

Serena closed the door behind her and heard Peter walk away. She looked at her mother and decided to be honest with her. “We are working through a few issues, yes. But that’s not why I’m here. There was a little trouble this morning during our mission that was my fault. While trying to get a full scan of the building I was detected so our desire to make this a surprise attack has been uncovered. I did get a full scan of the building though. Peter was going to take the blame, but I didn’t let him since it was my fault.”

Isabella had noticed that Serena has not been herself for a few days. It could be that she and Peter weren’t getting along. It could be but she couldn’t be certain. She stood up and invited her to sit down in the more comfortable chairs.

“Serena,” She said as she leaned forward and took up her gauntlets in her hands. Serena was still in her suit and didn’t remove it yet.

“You know you could tell me anything, are you and Peter alright?” She would have guessed that he would have proposed to her by now. If he had any sense he would though she honestly wouldn’t mind if they waited a bit longer for that. She loved Peter like a son and knew Serena loved him dearly.