To Mend a Broken Heart

For the first few days Calista did not leave the apartment and refused visitors. She knew that everyone was talking about what had happened and was not ready to face anyone. She did not sleep in their bedroom. She slept in the guestroom and continued to be plagued by nightmares of Johanna. She cried and cried until there were no more tears. She paced endlessly going over everything in her head countless times. Would he be able to fix their marriage? Would he be able to regain her trust? These were questions that she did not have the answers to.

Finally, she accepted a visit first from her parents and then from her sisters-in-law. Both offered her their support and her parents told her that should she decide to leave Eldarion, she would always be welcome back in their home. Her sisters-in-law comforted her and were just there for her in any way she needed them to be. One afternoon she was finishing some tea when a servant announced that the queen was there to see her. Calista stood as Nauriel walked into the sitting room. She had not spoken to either the king or queen since returning from Gehenna.

Since her return Nauriel knew by what her daughter's had told her and by Calista’s absence at court, that she had decided upon seclusion to avoid all of the embarrassment her Jack fool of a son! She promised herself she would not get angry again but who was she kidding. If he were before her now she’d still likely box his ears until he was deaf! Had heaped upon her by his...dalliance with another woman. She nodded a bow to Calista as she entered and noticed that the place was clean at least.

“We’ve...missed you at court daughter. May we sit and...talk awhile? At Calista's invitation she sat in the rocking chair. She was dressed in a light blue silk today with her hair down and held back with a deep violet ribbon.

“Calista, none of us have been so...embarrassed as you have been but we’ve all had setbacks in our lives. It does not mean we can toss aside our stately responsibilities. To be frank I need you at court. I can not really know how you feel but these lesser…nobles, since your absence have been nipping at our heels in hopes of higher stations. He who I shall not name,” she said with more than a little disdain, “Has been under a great deal of stress during the time you have been away and I do not make excuses for him,” she said in almost a growl as she fingered the side of her right hand. It was still bruised when she had tried to pummel him into the floor. “I am here to ask if you will once again grace us with your presence, we are your family to Calista and we miss you,” she said softly.

Calista listened quietly to her mother-in-law as she spoke. A servant brought in some tea for them both and put the tray down on the side table. Calista and Nauriel had always had a close relationship and Calista greatly respected her as her queen. She sighed a little as she knew she had been neglecting her duties since her return. Instead, she had been sulking and feeling sorry for herself and hiding from the city.

"I'm sorry for my absence," she said as she reached out and gently took her hand. "I've been trying to deal with my...emotions over everything that has happened. I have feared what people might be saying about me, but I need to put aside those fears, or, I suppose, face them and return to my duties. I will admit that things between Eldarion and I are...not good right now, but I have responsibilities that I must keep."

The queen filled her cup then sat back and took in its scent. “Did I ever tell you that El
Elessar before he was Elessar was just short of betrothed to another woman? An elf named Arwen that he knew as a boy,” he said and nodded. “He…neglected to tell me exactly what the nature of his relationship with her was. But I will tell you this, no woman was going to come between he and I. I was in love with him and he was my best friend. There was no going back after I tied my heart to him. Time can do much to heal most wounds Calista. And a wound this deep most likely will leave a scar.,” she said with a far off look.

Calista was shocked to hear that the king had been close to marrying someone else. She just couldn't imagine it based on what she'd seen over the years. She had never seen a couple more in love. She had hoped for a love like that between herself and Eldarion.

She became quiet for a moment and looked down a little.

"I'm afraid of trusting him again..."

The queen only nodded as she took a sip of wine. “You have a right to have your feelings Calista,” she said as she tried to keep the anger toward him out of her voice. “That...that boy!” She snapped then calmed herself or tried to. Her lips formed a line on her face. “I think you owe it to yourself to give it all time. Give yourself time and do not apologize for your….feelings, to anyone,” she said trying hard to contain her own. “Now, is there anything you need, or want, just ask Calista.

Calista was truly grateful to have someone like Nauriel in her life. She seemed to know just what to say to make her feel somewhat better. She had been considering possibly leaving Eldarion and having their marriage annulled by the king, but after speaking to the queen she decided to give it time and just see if her relationship to Eldarion could be fixed or not.

Calista began to shake her head when Nauriel asked her if there was anything she needed or wanted, but then she paused. She glanced over towards the bedroom, which she had not stepped foot into since her return, and then looked back at Nauriel.

"Would it...would it be possible to somehow get a...new bed? I've been sleeping in the guestroom because I do not want to sleep on that bed where...she was."

The queen nodded, “Ofcourse, I can have it burned properly if it would please you...And to the woman in question...let's just say that she will...not again be poaching where another has claim. I can appreciate that ‘he’ has his...charms but not all will I lay on his shoulders,” she said and she didn’t look up at Calista, she only just sipped her tea. Calista might take that as meaning that Johanna had some guilt there as well as Calista, if to a lesser degree. Especially knowing how impulsive Eldarion could be at times. She left Calista with a long, warm hug and the suggestion to have a long, soothing bath.

Eldarion sat by himself most of the time as he did now, thinking of Calista. They would be home today but he honestly didn’t know if home was a place he really wanted to be. He knew she needed space and he wanted to give it to her. Looking back at it all he still couldn’t believe how completely idiotic he had been. What was he thinking? Who was he to be able to do that? A lecher that’s who he thought. A complete and utter fool! The worst part was that he yearned to talk to her. To hear about her day and to know how her training had been. Their conversations sometimes lasted into the wee hours of the night. Now there was barely a word spoken between them. And all because he couldn’t keep it in his pants for a few months. Pathetic! He dashed his tea out into the fire and rose. It was long since it was time to move again.

He arrived home and as his horse was taken he took off his gloves and entered into his house. He was dusty and tired from the long ride and wanted a bath and a real bed...And Calista he knew but shrugged that thought away. He saw no sign of her as he went into the bedroom to take everything off except or this small clothes and then set himself up with a hot bath. He noticed that the bed looked...different but paid it no mind as he moved to get a new bar of soap from the wash basin drawer and set everything up so that when the water was poured he could hop right in. However to his surprise, the bathtub was occupied by Calista. She was sitting in the tub facing the door and her breasts were out of the water, glistening with wetness. He froze feeling his desire for her grow and so did she with her hands up above her head to get at her back with a wash cloth. He looked down, turned and closed the door behind him wordlessly. The weight of what he had done hit him hard right then and he sagged back up against the bathroom door.  

“I’m...sorry I disturbed you,” he said hoarsely from the other side of the door and she’d hear him step away.

Calista had been surprised by how quickly the queen had fulfilled her wish for a new bed. The very next morning there were several men there ready to take the other one away and replace it with a new one and new bed linens. Calista had almost cried for how grateful she was. She never would have been able to sleep in that bed again knowing what had gone on there.

After making sure the bed was set up properly she decided to take a hot bath. She wasn't sure when Eldarion would be returning. He hadn't told her. He had only told her that he was leaving. Once the bath was ready she slipped in and sat there letting the hot water work at her muscles. She hadn't realized just how tense she had been the past few days. Her muscles ached as if she was back in Gehenna training. She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear the door to their apartments open and close, nor the sound of Eldarion's heavy bootsteps. Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened and Eldarion walked in...wearing nothing but his small clothes. At first, he didn't seem to notice her, but suddenly he turned and spotted her in the tub. Both of their faces turned red and he quickly left. She sighed a little, but said nothing.

She finished her bath and got out and put on her robe. Her hair was still up, so it wouldn't get wet in the tub, as she walked out. She looked over at Eldarion slightly, trying to figure out what to say.

"You...you can use the bathroom now," she finally said. "I'm finished."

He did take his bath but only after she was in the bedroom. He took a long, soothing bath but it really did little to soothe him. After a short nap lunch was served and by the time he got up Calista was seated and eating. He was hungry but decided to ask one of the servants to bring him something into the guestroom dining nook. While Calista ate a servant came and filled a plate with a few of the sandwiches and sliced fruit that had been set out for lunch. If she looked through the open doors of the guestroom she’d be able to see half of the back of Eldarion’s head as he waited to be served. He had one of the supply ledgers open as he always did when he came to lunch with her but he wanted to give her space so he tried to stay in the guestroom as much as possible. Sometimes though they did bump into one another and he continued to leave those plum blossoms around where she would see them.

He was pleased that she had returned to court. He spent most of his time in another part of the uppers halls so they rarely would see one another and Calista did find that many of the lesser nobles had been plotting to have their wife or daughter take her seat to elevate their own positions. Her return though quashed their efforts quickly and there had been many issues that had been left unattended she discovered. Thus she had much to do. It was the state or family dinners that were awkward. Eldarion never attended them anymore and the seat next to Calista was always empty. No one gave her ‘looks’ anymore though, her return set all rumors to die away and only after a few days things pretty much returned to what they had been like for her except for Eldarion’s absences and how he took to sequestering himself in the guestroom. Sometimes he had caught himself before telling her a joke, or asking her a question or making a comment. He had gotten used to that and it was a difficult habit to break himself of. He didn’t think Calista was happy with him near her but he didn’t know what else he could do so he just continued to walk on eggshells and be there for her if she ever needed him for anything.

The next few days were rather awkward for them both. Calista slept in their bedroom, in the new bed, while Eldarion remained in the guestroom. No words had been exchanged between them since that day about the bathroom. They ate separately and made sure that another incident like that with the bathroom did not happen again. Calista had returned to court, which to the displeasure of many of the lesser nobles who were looking to have their wife or daughter elevated. No one dared breath a word about what had happened when she was around. They treated her with the same respect as before and went on as if nothing had happened. Calista began having dinners with Eldarion's family again, but Eldarion never attended. Calista had never told him that he could not, he simply chose not to come.

One evening she returned from dinner and glanced into the guestroom to see Eldarion there eating dinner at the small table in the room. She sighed a little and walked over to the half opened door and knocked on it slightly to get his attention.

The knock made him look over toward the door. In his shock he almost upended his table setting to get up to receive her. His face flushed at his sudden clumsiness, and he bowed a nod to her in respect.

“Uh, mylady Calista, is there something I can help you with?” He asked sweetly though his throat had gone dry. He stood with his eyes upon hers, his hands rested down at his sides.

Calista did not step into the room, but remained where she was. She looked at him for a long moment...her heart suddenly aching for the way things had been. She missed him greatly...just the comfort of his presence.

"I just wanted to say that you have been missed at dinner. Your family would like for you to return. You shouldn't feel it necessary to not attend because of...us."

To put his arms around her. To taste her lips again...he tried to abandon the images and the memory of her but his cheeks flushed and he couldn’t stop it. “I...I do not wish to make you feel...uncomfortable Calista,” he said and drew his eyes down. He said her name the way he always did with warmth and affection. “Our family will be there...” he said and he was about to say more but stopped himself. “It is good that they are there for you,” he added then furled his brow thinking about how his mother had treated him then straightened his expression again. That still troubled him and his sisters would not speak to him. He did feel sorry for himself but then he remembered what he had done and those feelings drained away quickly. He deserved his lot, a fool’s reprise he thought.

Calista looked at him and shook her head a little. "It may be...uncomfortable at first, but we have responsibilities and we will have to appear together in public at some point. This will help us with that...and perhaps help us as well." She was quiet a moment and looked down before looking back up at him. "I am still angry and hurt Eldarion, I will not lie about that. I will never forgive what you did...nor probably understand why, but I want to give us the best chance we can to try and repair our marriage. Just know that it will take time."

“I will do what you want Calista...I will do anything, that you need me to do,” Eldarion said. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I do not wish anyone to think I am trying to act like some Pariah. That is not why I am absent. I...I disappointed everyone...and...I don’t know if I can face them,” he said honestly and he had a few tears pool in his eyes but he could not bring himself to look at her. “I’m so sorry Calista,” he said sadly. “I’m sorry for both of us,” he added then turned and stepped away from her.

The next morning he still ate in the guestroom and he had stopped coming home for the mid-day meal. In the evening he dressed for dinner but as usual he had difficulty with his collar and normally Calista would fix it for him but ofcourse he would never ask her. He showed up for dinner making his bows but he spoke not a word. His sisters went on about their day and their happenings and a question was posed to Calista.

“Calista, Marcus has asked me to step out with him tomorrow night, would you be available to Chaperone?” She asked. Normally she would have asked her brother but Calene was not happy with him, none of them were and so they did things like this to disrespect him. And she knew what she was doing, she gave her brother a scowl. However her mother sighed, part of this was her fault and the King grunted as if he was displeased with what was happening. Eldarion was about to just sit and take it but a spike of anger hit him right then and in one quick motion, he had almost had taken a bite of his food, he stood and threw down his napkin on his seat. Before he could leave though the queen spoke up.

“Sit down, Eldarion!” She snapped. When he paused as if he would leave anyway she snapped her fingers loudly and pointed to his seat. Calista could see he was about to explode. They all could and Calene actually quirked a small smile. She loved Calista and was the most angry with him than his other sisters. Eldarion slowly retook his seat but he would not touch his food and Calista saw that he wanted to weep but held it all inside. “Don’t feel sorry for him Calista,” Calene whispered but most everyone heard it. Elessar gave her a stern look and she glared back at him.

The following evening Calista dressed for dinner as usual. She wore her dark blue gown and left her hair down. She didn't know if Eldarion would come or not, but she actually hoped he would. She knew that they needed to face this if they wanted to try and save their marriage. She had just taken her seat when she heard someone walk in and she looked over to see Eldarion. She waited for him to take his seat and for a plate to be brought out for him before starting to eat. As usual, the girls talked about their days and chatted about different things they had heard or seen. For the most part Nauriel and Elessar would remain quiet, just letting their children talk. Calista remained quiet as well, as did Eldarion. However, when Calene suddenly asked her to chaperone a date the following evening she felt Eldarion stiffen next to her. As their brother, that was his duty, but Calene had decided to poke at Eldarion and ask her instead. Suddenly, Eldarion's anger spiked and he stood quickly as if to leave, but before he could the queen spoke up and commanded that he sit down. The tension in the room was almost unbearable as he sat down. Calista glanced at Calene and then shook her head and looked at everyone.

"What has happened between Eldarion and I is OUR business, not anyone else's. I find it extremely distasteful the way everyone has been behaving...particularly you Calene. I asked him to come back to dinner believing it would help us, but perhaps I was wrong and maybe neither of us should attend dinner anymore."

It was the King that spoke up. He had sat and let everything unfold organically since Calista’s return and even before. A man paid for his mistakes one way or another and he had spoken to Eldarion but only when he was asked. He wasn’t happy with how his family had seemed to turn on Eldarion and he would stand it no longer.

“Calene...everyone makes mistakes. And Calista is a strong enough woman to handle her own honor. I will thank you to discontinue your assault on your brother,” he said plainly. Eldarion reached over and quickly gave Calista’s hand a squeeze in thanks but did not lift his head up. He released his grip on her though and he let out a long, cleaning sigh as if that alone brought him a great deal of comfort.

“You aren’t serious about Marcus are you?” Alina broke in. Her face took on a look of near disgust. “He..um, picks his nose!” She said in a loud whisper that made their younger sister almost choke on her food as she chuckled. Calene looked at her sister in disbelief and even Eldarion fought to keep a small smile form his face at that.

Calista was glad when the king finally spoke up. While she was not defending Eldarion's actions, she did feel that they were unjustly assaulting him and making things worse. She felt Eldarion reach over and take her hand and give it a little squeeze. The rest of the dinner was slightly more pleasant. There was still some tension in the room, but everyone seemed to move on from picking on Eldarion and Calene ended up deciding against going out with Marcus. It was agreed by everyone that she could find someone better.

Later that night after they had retired to their rooms, Nauriel walked up behind Elessar and slipped her arms around his waist and lightly kissed his neck.

"I have a feeling that everything is going to work out between Eldarion and Calista. If they can make it through this then they can make it through anything."

Elessar leaned into her and allowed her to take in his scent. He had not been really happy lately and he let Nauriel know it. “Will you be snapping your fingers at me next Nauriel? I can agree that Eldarion needs a firm hand but…” He would say no more and only shook his head as he turned and put his thick, strong arms around her. “I need him wife...Gondor needs him more than most will admit. We all can take part in culpability for this. I had been pushing him on purpose. If I realized...if I had known,” he said with regret in his voice. “I wanted to see how much he could take. He never faltered...not in his duty anyway. But...only now do I know that even though the rudder still worked, the boat was sinking. How could I not know? He is my son...how could a father not know Nauriel?” he asked as his eyes, so filled with despair looked into hers.

Nauriel sighed at his words, but part of her had been expecting it. Perhaps she should have just let him go, but she had felt that they had needed to work through what was happening. They had all been extremely tense lately. As she listened to Elessar she realized just how responsible for this he felt. She walked around him and looked into his eyes as she gently rested a hand on the side of his cheek.

"This is not your fault. Eldarion made a choice. He is a grown man who made a choice and now must face the consequences of that choice. Do not blame yourself for this. We have all been rather tense lately. I have perhaps been too hard on Eldarion myself and for that I am sorry. I think that tonight was a big step for him on the road to healing this wound in his marriage."

The days passed slowly. Eldarion had been taking as many field duties as he could. Some were for just a couple days, others were for a week or more. He did more scouting missions into Minas Morgul and sometimes they met resistance but not always. He was instrumental in setting up a permanent military presence there. From there explorations were now launched and he, himself set up the supply lines to keep it led, manned and supplied. The dinners with his family, his seat was empty alot these days but now due to his required absences. When he did attend, he and calista began to leave and arrive together but they were still living in separate rooms. Some days she invited him to eat with her and others she did not. When she did he was there and when she did not he made himself scarce.

One day when he had discovered thieves, former soldiers in one of the large supply rooms one evening and had been attacked by them. There were three of them and he managed to disable two but the third had stabbed him several times badly in the back and side. It was Calene and Arina that knocked on her door. He was overdue at home, supposedly getting ready for dinner with the family. Calista had already gotten dressed and assumed he was just delayed. At the door they greeted her and tear-filled faces hugged her as soon as she opened it.

“Calista...Eldarion...he’s...he’s been...hurt,” Calene said just barely able to contain the sobs that wanted to wrack her. “He accosted three men...in one of the supply warehouses...they...they attacked him,” Arina said. Eldarion had been hurt before but by how they were acting Calista would know that they were afraid.

Several months had passed and they still barely spoke to one another. Each seemed afraid to speak and so even when they would take meals together the room would be filled with silence. However, they were taking baby steps towards repairing their marriage. When Eldarion wasn't off in the field, he would join the family for dinner and they walk down together. She started helping him with his collar again, since he never seemed to be able to get it right, and he would help her with bracelet or necklace clasps.

Eldarion had once again been out in the field, but was due home that day. He was overdue and Calista was readying herself for dinner when she heard a knock at the door. She walked over and was shocked to see Calene and Arina there with tears streaming down their cheeks. Fear filled her heart when they told her what had happened to Eldarion. She immediately rushed to the Houses of Healing to see him.

He was on his right side on the small, healing bed. The queen herself was there, her eyes red as if she’d been crying, her handkerchief in her hand. She stood when Calista and his sisters arrived and she hugged them all and kissed them in turn, Calista was the last though Alina started to cry again. “We never know how much time each of us really has,” was all she said as she lightly kissed her cheek and was escorted by her daughters out. Eldarion was not awake and large, blood-stained bandages covered him from lower back to chest. His face was badly bruised but his hair had been tended...most likely by the queen herself.

He felt someone touch him and the one eye he could open opened, his left one, opened to see Calista. He smiled brightly when he saw her. A smile that she was always able to get out of him just by being his wife and he knowing that she was. A warm, loving smile that would tell her that he loved her dearly. Then his expression changed and as if a dark cloud covered up the sun, she would know it was because he remembered what their present situation was right then and he was the cause of it. “Are you going to tell me how much a fool I was for not using discretion facing three armed men?” he said weakly. He chuckled and she saw him wince and his fingers gripped the sheet tightly in his fist. “I was never able to run from a fight,” he added and his eye closed as his face went blank as if he had lost consciousness. It only lasted a moment though and his eye fluttered open again to look at her.

Calista entered and immediately saw the queen sitting by his beside. She slowly walked over, her heart aching upon seeing him. He was clearly badly wounded and was covered in bruises and blood-stained bandages. After the queen left, she sat down in her vacated seat and then slowly reached out and lightly touched his hand. At that, his left eye opened and he smiled at her. Tears filled her eyes and she then got down off of the chair and knelt down beside his bed. She took his hand and with her other she lightly brushed back his hair like she used to do.

"I don't think you're a fool," she said quietly, trying to contain her tears. "I...I think you are the bravest man I have ever known...a man who is always willing to sacrifice himself for someone else...a man that I still love."