Once Again Into The Abyss Stardate 2260.40

It had been about a week since the now famous, holodeck incident. Kal spent hours and hours revamping and toning down the realism. He also gave the characters the ability to use prompts while in game to delete characters and objects. Fiona told him that this wasn't his fault but Kal felt horrible even so.

Spock and Scarlett had rekindled their relationship. He could sense that she was still affected by what happened but she wanted to be the wife he needed and so she let him have at her. He had been gentle but she still had bad dreams about the incident on the holodeck. Leonard and Elyse shared the same bed but there might as well been a wall between them. Every time he tried to get affectionate with her she just shrugged him off. After the last time he had stopped trying. No affection meant no sex. And no sex had put him in a bad mood. People who needed to go to sickbay usually waited for Beta shift if they could or hoped one of the nurses was available to help them. McCoy's bedside manner was horrible when he was like this and even the Nurses walked on egg shells around him.

Amara was still not her normal self either. Kirk tried to engage her in games or in sex when they were alone but most of the time she just slept or hung out in the fields of Fair Haven to be alone. He had Chef make her her favorite food and he even opened a fresh bottle of Romulan Ale but her normal enthusiasm was subdued. She hadn't asked to be put back into the duty roster and that was what really bothered him. There were no passengers aboard the Enterprise. "Do you not...like it?" Kirk asked as he chewed. "Would you like something else?" He asked her.

Leonard's words still rang clear in Elyse's ears. She knew that he had tried to apologize, but she was still being affected by what he had accused her of. She would have done anything to save Carter...anything...but she had not been able to get to him. Despite what the official records said, Elyse still took his death personally, but the fact that she hadn't had her husband's sympathy at a time when she needed it the most was deeply upsetting to her. As a result things were rather...icy in their quarters. They ate in silence and slept with their backs to each other. They hadn't had sex in a week and because of that Dr. McCoy was much grumpier than usual, to the point where people were avoiding going to Sickbay or waiting until he was off duty to do so. Diana had never seen him like this and she took great care not to make his mood any worse. 

Elyse was back in their quarters. It had been a long shift and she was tired. Leonard wasn’t there yet. She wasn’t hungry and she just made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the table to start working on her daily report. She heard the door open and looked up to see Leonard walk in.

Diana and Nathan were back in his quarters. Diana had spent every evening since the incident with Nathan. They used the replicator to fix some food and were sitting together at the little table in his quarters. “I thought I was going to have to call Captain Kirk to Sickbay today. Dr. McCoy became so angry at Nurse Anderson for dropping something that I thought she was going to start crying. I just don’t understand what’s gotten into him lately.”

Amara was having horrible nightmares...to the point where she had woken up screaming the other night and startled James so much that he had fallen out of bed. She was seeing Dr. Campbell, the ship's Psychiatrist, but it didn't seem to be really helping. She knew that James was trying to lift her spirits, but she had fallen into a pit of depression and was having a difficult time climbing out of it. She spent most of her time alone or asleep.

She pushed her food around on her plate, but hadn't really eaten anything. She had lost her appetite, when normally Amara would eat literally anything that was in front of her. "Huh?" she said as she looked up at James and then realized what he had said. "Oh, yes. I like it," she said and then forced herself to eat a bite. James had gone to a lot of trouble to get this special meal made for her and she did appreciate that.

Leonard didn’t know what to do. He had already been divorced once. A mutual arrangement where he decided to just leave and then ‘she’, decided to sue him for everything. Instead of drawing it all out, he just signed it all to her. Here, with Elyse, he had nothing to sign away. Except his love for her. He had once told her that he’d follow her anywhere. And he would but she’d have to put up with him. He hadn’t said the right thing. He just blurted out what he had and it had really hurt her. He had apologized...several times and it didn’t make any difference. Now he was just indignant and angry...at everyone.

The moment he came in the door he today was going to be more of the same. “Hello,” he said in a light voice as he passed by her as she sat on the couch. He saw she had tea and was looking at reports. She had a small stack of PADDs near her. When she didn’t respond..either that or he hadn’t heard her, his temper flared and he tossed his doctor’s bag angrily.

“Ok, that is ENOUGH!” He said as he turned to face her. “I told you I was sorry and I can’t take back what I said...Elyse!” McCoy said. “Now I wish I kept my big mouth shut! Just because I ‘thought’ something doesn’t make it right! I was upset, we both were and I can’t take back anything that was said or done. Carter is dead and we’re not and I’d wish you’d STOP beating yourself up about it Elyse! Because I’m not leavin though sometimes I wish I wanted to!” He growled.

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“Well, I think that has to do with a certain Commander that shall remain nameless,” Nathan said as he tasted the bratwurst. This was likely the tenth time Diana had switched up his favorite bangers and mash recipe. He would not tell her that he liked the authentic one that Chef had made but he doubted she did as to why she kept changing it. That’s one thing he’d never admit. Her pleasure was much more important to him than what he ate. And they still had not ‘been’ together yet. Why was that? Well, every time they tried they were interrupted. At the last he had decided to make that her responsibility. When she was ready he was certain she’d let him know.

“What’s in these?” he asked idly as he looked at her chest. He had a far away look for a moment. He was thinking of her straddling him feeding him her breasts. He had never even seen her naked besides when she bathed while on the holodeck. And he didn’t really think about her in that way until she had brought it up. He was too concerned about her at the time. That and he had felt horrible that it had happened. And then Carter’s death, the funeral was tough for him but he powered through. Nathan was one of those men that did not cry around others. He saved that for when he was alone, if he did at all.

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Kirk wanted to bring this up before but after another week of her just wanting to be here, in their quarters he decided that now was the time.

“We’ll be making contact with a Tellarite freighter in a couple of weeks for supplies. I know we didn’t talk about this and I know you’d never admit to this but I’m asking you straight out now. You could stay with my parents, on their farm if you’d like? I doubt section 31 would have much use for you there. You could help with the farm or just spend time alone. You could ride horses, get a dog, whatever you wanted. They have alot of land Amara,” Kirk said. “Yu don’t have to stay here if you want to be somewhere else,” Kirk said but his face gave up nothing as to what his opinion might be. He had prepared himself for this conversation beforehand.

Elyse was tired of being angry with Leonard. It was exhausting. She wanted to feel his arms around her...to be comforted by him. She was having nightmares about what had happened in the holodeck, but she felt like she couldn't talk to him about it. But she wanted to now. She started to open her mouth to talk calmly to him when he suddenly exploded at her. She blinked at what he said. She felt a few tears come to her eyes.

"You wish you wanted to leave?"

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Diana wanted tonight to go well. She wanted tonight to be the night. She and Nathan had already expressed their true feelings to one another. Unfortunately, the other times this week that she had hoped things would happen they had been interrupted. Well, tonight she had made sure that wasn't going to happen. She had asked the Beta Shift to call another nurse if they needed help and she had spoken to Security and told them that unless it was a true emergency to not call Nathan. After all they had been through together recently, they deserved this night. 

Diana saw Nathan looking at her chest and she found that she rather liked it when he looked at her in such a way. She smiled a little when he asked her what was in the Brats and she told him. "I think you'll like what's for dessert though."

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Amara looked at James as her brain registered what he was saying. Her leaving Starfleet and the Enterprise and going to live with his parents on the farm in Iowa. She knew then how worried he was about her. 

"I don't want to be anywhere where you aren't," she told him. "I...I'm sorry that I haven't been on the duty roster lately. You...you can put me back on effective immediately," she said. She was worried now that he was going to try and force her to leave.  The thought of being without James for several years was almost unbearable.

McCoy rolled his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood for her to do what she always did. ‘Nitpick every word he said’. She was like an elephant in that regard. Never forgetting what he said. “Oh...you know what I mean!” He growled. He noticed her starting to get upset but he was angry...now.

“You shrug me off, keep your back to me and then look at me as if you need me at the same time. What the hell Elyse? I’m a Doctor not a Mind Reader! We both work crazy hours and you want us to come home and be like this? Well I don’t!” he growled and he kicked his bag out of his way as he stormed into the bedroom to get changed. “I won’t have it Elyse...I won’t!” He said from the other room as he removed his shirt.

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Nathan cocked his head at what Diana said. She had a look that he wasn’t certain what it meant. Dessert? They didn’t often have dessert. He wondered, innocently, what it could be. The thought intrigued him and he took another bite of his potatoes.

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“I know you do, but this is for what’s best for you. How much more of this can you take Amara? What if ‘they’ ask you to do something abhorrent to you or me? If you’re not in a position to be useful to them, they won’t use you. Isn’t that what you want? The farm is a peaceful place. And they won’t bother you there. No one will. You can be yourself there. Read, relax, go swimming and not in a holodeck,” Kirk told her. He would miss her...terribly but he wanted her to be safe and happy. Being here she was neither. “You don’t have to give up your commission. Just take a leave of absence,” Kirk said.

Elyse stood there for a moment and now she felt herself getting angry...angry at him for what he had said to her...and angry at herself for not letting it go. They were both extremely stubborn people and neither one of them liked to be the one to back down first. But how much longer could they go on like this? She wanted her husband back. She growled to herself and then followed him into the bedroom. 

"Shut up and kiss me Leonard!" She was pleased by his suddenly confused look. She had caught him off guard and disarmed him. "I said...shut up and kiss me."

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Diana grinned a little at this rather innocent look. She liked that he wasn't sure what she was talking about. They finished their dinner and then he cleaned up while she disappeared for a moment. 

"And now...for dessert," she said from behind him. When he turned around he would find her standing in the doorway leading back to the bedroom. She was no longer wearing her Starfleet nurse's uniform. Instead, she was wearing a sexy, black one piece body suit that hugged every square inch of her body. Being a dancer for most of her life, Diana's body was more athletic, verus curvy, but she was still incredibly sexy. She had long, dancer's legs and a toned mid-section. 

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Amara looked at James. She knew he was only trying to help her because he loved her. And that caused her to love him even more, but she didn't want to leave. Being on the farm sounded incredible, but not without him. 

"Are you going to force me to leave?" she asked. She knew he could. He could have Dr. Campbell and Dr. McCoy deem her unfit for service and put her on the Tellarite ship.

McCoy had thought to say more when he heard her come in behind him. He also saw her turn and hit the door lock and the door swished shut as she turned to face him again. ‘Ut oh’ he said internally as he saw the fire in her eyes though that had confused him. Her eyes held his for a few moments. Her’s were blue fire and also sad and damp as Elyse had tears on her cheeks. “I…” he began than he heard what she said. “I…” he began but then he heard what she said again. And then he just tossed his shirt onto the floor and kissed her. The kiss was gentle at first though passionate and then it just blew up into alot more.

While he made love to her she cried but she told him not to stop and so he didn’t. He buried his face in her neck and felt her hands on his hips, as she urged him to make her feel it. Feel everything. He felt her hands on his back and around his neck. He felt her legs open even wider. She ended up facing him on his lap with her long, pale legs wrapped around him as they shifted together. She grinded him inside of her and would not let go until she felt him orgasm.

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The black one piece was textured like some kind of netting. It didn’t leave much not to see but it also enhanced her body in ways he could not have imagined if he weren’t looking at her right then. “Oh...my...god…” He said in pauses as he looked at her. He also saw her turn around and head toward the bed in his bedroom. She deliberately put one knee on the bed and what that did to her backside made him nearly drool and he swallowed again. Then she turned onto her back then tilted up onto the corner of the bed, her legs spread just so and gave him an expectant look.

‘Oh...she wants to watch me undress?’ He wondered. He decided to be slow about that though he wanted to be free of his clothes and inside her immediately. The one piece she was in did not look like it would give him access to anything. He decided that it would need to be ripped in certain places and perhaps that was what she intended? Nathan was well-muscled almost everywhere and he had a good, dark beard going that he kept for the holodeck program. When his underclothes finally came off he saw her take a good, long look at him and her cheeks colored as her eyes shifted up to his. He could tell that her heart was beating as fast as his was now as he came toward her. He hoped it meant she liked what she saw as he approached her. He was already very erect.

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“No...I won’t tell you to do anything or force you. You should know that that’s not how this relationship works. You’ve had enough people forcing you,” he said. “I want to help you any way I can. And i just feel I’m not helping you very much,” he said. He had done everything he could for her. And he had burned enough bridges and used up alot of favors for her to be here, on the Enterprise, as an Officer. She was his responsibility now that they were married. And he couldn’t protect her here or as much as if she were on the farm. “I’d do whatever I could for you Amara, I wish I knew how to help you now,” Kirk said softly, looking troubled.

Elyse couldn't stop the tears that streamed down her cheeks. They were tears for Scarlett...for Diana...for Carter...for herself. She had not allowed herself to truly grieve his death or what had happened. Her duty was to remain strong for everyone else...to be the leader they all needed her to be. She needed Leonard. She needed him to be the strength she needed. But most of all, she needed his love. 

They both orgasmed together in a duet of moans and then they collapsed back onto their bed. Elyse felt Leonard's arms encircle around her and pull her close to him. They needed this quiet moment of intimacy together as a way to rekindle their undying love for one another. 

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Diana felt her heartbeat begin to increase as she watched Nathan start to slowly undress. The man was torturing her with how slow he was going! She knew he was a well built man, but seeing him partially undressed caused her mouth to nearly go dry. Her body started to feel like it was on fire as his underclothes finally came off. Her cheeks flushed and she swallowed in anticipation of what was to come. She smiled at him as he approached the bed. 

"I went to great lengths to ensure we won't be interrupted this time."

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Amara knew how much James had done for her. She wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for him. She would have been handed over to Starfleet Intelligence and then executed after they had extracted every last drop of information from her. She hadn't deserved the mercy he had shown her and she knew that he had made some enemies in Starfleet because of his insistence on getting her back her commission and rank. There was no way she could ever repay him for everything he had done for her. She didn't want to throw that all away. 

"James, we don't know that me going to live in Iowa would solve anything. Section 31 could very well just come and get me. I don't want to put your parent's lives at risk by me being there right now. I need to be here. You practically walked through fire to get my commission and rank back. I want to be here. Yes, I've hit a bit of a roadblock, but I'll get past it. Please...just let me go back on duty."

Nathan took his time. There would ever only be 'one' first time and he wanted this one to be his 'last'. Slow, gentle but deliberate passion filled the bedroom as he made love to Diana. Before long, the bodysuit had become a hindrance and they both worked to rip it free from her flesh. Skin to skin Nathan made sweet love to Diana. And in several different positions. They ended with him on top, she had already orgasmed when she was on top. Nathan's was an explosion of warmth that filled her and their lips found one another's again as he collapsed onto her. She did not complain about the weight of him on her. She seemed to revel in it. In what had made his large, powerful arms finally give out. Sleep was not in coming as he wrapped her up into his arms.

"If you feel you're ready to go back, consider it done. But I feel as if we're patching holes here. When at one time, you were probably the strongest, most confident person I ever knew," Kirk said. "What about going to go see the Psychiatrist on board?" Kirk asked her.

Diana had been with other men before, but none of them compared to Nathan and the way she felt with him. She was completely in love with him and she was glad that they had waited for this moment. Everything about it just felt...right. Afterwards, she lay there in his arms as they both worked to catch their breath and let their heartbeats return to normal.

"So, did you like dessert?" she asked with a grin.

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Amara wanted to feel the way she had at one time...strong, confident, and in control. She felt she could get back there, but it would just take time and work. She sighed and nodded when he asked about Dr. Campbell. "I have been seeing him. He said it's just going to take time. I think the difference with what happened with the Etarian versus Section 31 is that I had absolutely no control. It was like I was trapped inside my own body and knowing that I killed those two soldiers when they didn't deserve to die was...difficult."

She was quiet a moment and took a sip of the Romulan ale. She then looked at James again. "Does Leonard really think he can sever the tie between the nanobots in my body and Section 31?"

Nathan was still in heaven. His body ached for more but he was relaxed. He could be himself around Diana. And he liked the way she laid against him right then. “I did...very much!” He said with a boyish grin. She had wowed him big time and he was going to want more before the night was done.

“This means so much more because...because of the way I feel about you Diana. I’m glad we waited...it’s like...we’ll, like all the bad situations O’ve been through,” and she knew who he was talking about. Lucia...who still tried to sleep with him even though she knew He and Diana were a thing now.

“Well, if you need time, take it. Be our Communications officer and I’ll try and keep you out of away missions,” he said. “I know McCoy has had some progress but not sure how much,” Kirk said.

Diana knew about Lucia. She didn't like the woman...at all. She knew that Lucia had played around with Nathan's heart. Nathan was a good man and she had never felt like Lucia was the right woman for him. She was glad that he had finally seen that as well. 

"I never thought she was right for you," Diana admitted.

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Amara sighed and nodded a little. They cleaned up the dishes and then Amara turned on some music. It was soft and soothing and James came over and they began to dance. It was slow and gentle and they stood very close to one another. It was moments like this that Amara lived for. Just the two of them and their love.