The Black Widow (September 2002)

3 Weeks Ago...

Natalya lifted up the lapel of a black, leather trench coat with her left hand. A silenced Mararov pistol that still smoked a little was in her right. The man who wore the coat was on the floor in a pool of blood that slowly began to expand away from his body. Natalya made certain to keep her feet out of the blood as she pulled free his wallet. She picked out the cash and then let the wallet fall into the blood. She repeated the process for the second body and then the third though the third was a woman. Sven, Revano and Ulsa, three of the SSBs best agents. Natalya knew them, knew them, their families and some about their lives. She had worked with them. Drank and broke bread with them. Trained with them.

Ulsa had a husband and a son but without remorse Natalya had killed her and the other two. She had been waiting for them to come into the apartment. They would have killed her if they had the chance. She knew that. Tatiana had been given that directive once it was clear she was not going to come back. The last time she had gone awol she had used the helmet on her. In her nightmares the helmet was always there. Psychosomatic subliminal imagery and sensation. Once the rapes and the beatings and the deprivations no longer seemed to work on her they began to use the Helmet. If they caught her this time Natalya knew she’d put a bullet into her own head. She would not go back!

Since she had met someone, she could only remember the face of a man. A face all wreathed in a haze as if she had met him in a dream, Natalya felt as if she needed to leave the SSB. She had been a prisoner inside her own mind and body since she was born. A prisoner that could see the world but never be apart of it. Not like everyone else. With this nameless man, though it was all very fuzzy in her head, she had felt real love and emotion. At least she thought it was real. The Helmet had tricked her like this many times but she was convinced that this man had been real and the love he felt for her. She wanted to find him, wanted him to show her how to feel again. She knew if she didn’t find him, if he couldn’t show her how to love that she would surely die. Either by someone else or her own hand, it would not matter then. Life had real meaning when she looked into his eyes. She did remember that. Blue eyes that she desperately needed to see again. She closed the door behind her and locked it and stepped away down the hall.

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10 Days Ago…

Phil Coulson stood before a whole room of SHIELD personnel. Agents, their security force, Spec Ops, Tech Ops, everyone. Behind him on the board was a photo of Natalya Sokolova.

“I will make this quick.A highly trained SSB agent has been reported, BY the SSB as gone, off the reservation. She is our number one priority at this moment. She is highly trained and extremely dangerous. If you see her, you are NOT to engage her. Report her location immediately. Everyone who has tried to bring her in, everyone who has tried to take her on has died. And if the SSB want her off the street, she’s done damage to them. We’ve counted 8 casualties so far. 3 SSB agents, 2 FBI and 3 police. She left the FBI and police alive though so I can only guess that she is a professional. She won’t kill someone unless she was ordered to or she has no other choice. Don’t give her one...that is all,” He said then everyone began to go their separate ways.

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Today.

Natalya had been monitoring SHIELD for the past week and now she knew they were looking for her. She had also found out that a man named James Buchanan Barnes had escaped Hydra. What she didn’t know, not for certain, if this was ‘her’ man nor where he was presently. Her best bet would be to capture a SHIELD agent and make them talk. Through monitoring their transmissions she tracked down one of their agents to her apartment.

As Kate stepped out of her door, before she was able to shut it she was pushed inside. She was pushed and she heard a distinct ‘pop’ from behind her just as she hit the floor. A pop and then a painful prick on the back of her neck. As she tried to get up she fumbled for her sidearm but her arms quickly felt like jelly and her hands went numb. Then all went black.

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Kate felt sore. Her back and arms ached as if she had slept in a very bad position for too long and her jaw hurt. When she tried to move she knew she was restrained. Restrained in one of her metal dining room chairs. Duct tape covered her wrists, upper arms, her chest, waist, ankles and thighs. There was no contorting her way out of this, she knew that for certain. There was something in her mouth and tape was placed over her face as well to hold it in. She couldn’t scream and she couldn’t move.

Natalya stepped up from the bedroom. She had went through Kate’s apartment but hadn’t been able to find much of anything. Obviously she had a hidden stash somewhere but Natalya didn’t have the time to search for it.

“Ah, you’re awake...good. Now we can get to business,” she said coldly. Her face held no emotion and her expression was just as cold as her words.

Kate couldn’t remember exactly what had happened. She had stepped out of her apartment to head to SHIELD for the emergency briefing Phil had told her about, but the moment she had tried to leave her apartment she had been shoved back inside and then had felt a pinprick on her neck. After that, everything had gone dark.

Her entire body ached and she immediately became aware that she was bound with duct tape to a chair. There was something in her mouth and tape was holding it down so she couldn’t scream. She tried to remain calm, but her heart began to race as her adrenaline began pumping.

Suddenly, a dark haired woman stepped out from her bedroom. The place was trashed, but she wasn’t sure what she might be looking for or who she was. She looked at her and it was as if she was looking at a beautiful, mysterious wild animal. There was something unhinged about her that frightened Kate, and she didn’t frighten easily.

She couldn’t speak so she had to wait to see if she would remove her gag.

Natalya moved behind Kate as she spoke. “First, the rules. Rule number one. If you scream or cry out. You die. Rule number two. I’m going to ask you a series of questions. If you do not answer them to my satisfaction...You will wish you had. I have no interest in you or SHIELD. I am looking for a man. You can consider it my mission is to find him. I am only here for information. Do you understand? Information only so you can dispense with the heroics. First though, I need you to give me the code to your phone. I don’t want anyone wondering where you are,” she said as she moved around so Kate could see her. She attached a barrel silencer to her pistol then reached over and ripped away the tape. She clicked the hammer of her pistol and placed it up against Kate’s head as she used her fingers to remove the wash cloth from her mouth.

“Very good,” she said coldly as she produced Kate’s phone and flipped it out and pressed the button. “The code?” She asked though the barrel of her gun still rested on her forehead.

Kate could tell that this woman meant business. The woman exuded confidence and did not hesitate to falter in what she said. She was clearly well trained and Kate was guessing that she had either been trained by Hydra or the SSB. She began to wonder if this wasn’t Natalya Sokolova herself.

Kate maintained a neutral expression as the woman ripped away the tape. She wasn’t going to show weakness in front of her. It took a moment for her to relax her jaw. It felt stiff and sore. She then looked at the woman as she demanded the code to her phone.

“03215.”

Natalya took a moment to look over the names and numbers. A Phil Coulson seemed to pop up alot and what was texted appeared to be professional texts. “So, is this Phil Coulson your..superior? Would a text to him be appropriate, if you called in sick?” She asked. A curt nod from the woman was all she needed and she texted,

‘Phil, I’m really not feeling well. Bad fish I think. I should be in tomorrow’

She hit ‘send’ and then flipped the phone closed and pocketed it and then removed her weapon from her forehead. And uncocked it. “Now, that wasn’t so difficult was it? Where is James Buchanan Barnes?” She asked plainly.

Kate hoped that Phil would sense that something might be amiss, but she said nothing to the woman. She waited calmly for her to tell her the reason she was tied up. When the woman outright asked where James was, Kate knew that she was dealing with Natalya. However, she seemed very unstable and Kate wasn't prepared to give out that information.

"Why do you think I would know that information?" she asked, dodging the question.

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Meanwhile, Phil was suspicious of the text he got from Kate. However, he couldn't go check on her himself since they were hunting for Natalya. Instead, he sent Steve a text and asked him to go check on her.

Natalya looked at Kate a moment then tilted her head. Then she moved behind Kate. Kate heard something rustle, like the sound of a plastic bag and then something was tossed over her head. It was a kitchen garbage bag and she felt Natalya cinch it around her neck. As she struggled to breath she felt parts of it pull into her mouth and cover her nose. She was suffocating...slowly.

Kate’s heart began to pound as she watched Natalya move behind her. She couldn’t see her, but she heard a rustling sound. Her eyes widened when a plastic bag was pulled down over her head. She struggled to breathe and felt terror overcome her. She thrashed as much as she could since she was bound.

She felt Natalya press the bag around her head and no matter how she thrashed, it made no difference. She tried to use her teeth, anything to break the bag but it didn’t work. All thought shifted to the fear that she was beginning to feel light-headed. She gulped and tried to get air but there was none. Then, suddenly, the bag was lifted off of her head. Her heartbeat was beating as fast as a frightened rabbit and she gulped air into her lungs.

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it if I didn’t like your answers. “Where…” She began and then she felt Kate’s phone begin to buzz. She plucked it out of her pocket and looked at it. “Hmm, whose Steve?” She asked but didn’t really give Kate a chance to answer. “Get rid of him,” she warned as she pulled out her pistol again. “If you try to get cute and alert them, I’ll let you watch when I kill them in front of you,” she said coldly. And then hit the button and pressed the phone up to her ear.

“Hey Kate, Uh, Phil called...is everything ok? He said you called off, are you feeling ok?” He asked.

Kate began to fear that she was going to die. She wanted to cry as she thought about Steve and Phil. She might not ever see them again. She gasped and struggled, but nothing worked. Then, suddenly, the bag was lifted off of her head. She gasped for air and coughed and then suddenly her cell phone began to ring. Natalya still had it and she pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the caller ID. When she asked her who Steve was Kate kept a straight face. She wasn't going to let Natalya think that she cared about him.

When Natalya put the phone against her ear she took a few seconds to speak. "I'm fine...just an upset stomach..." she told him. However, he might be able to tell that something was wrong from her tone of voice. It was subtle, but Steve would be able to pick up on it. "I'm sure I'll be fine by tomorrow."

Steve frowned. Kate didn’t sound like Kate at all. The whole thing was strange. Phil called him to call her? It didn’t really make any sense. Maybe his concern was warranted? “Kate, You know chocolate doesn’t agree with you,” Steve said. Kate would either agree with him or challenge him on it.

Natalya watched Kate closely. But the phone call came soon after the text so it could be be an extension of that.

Kate heard what Steve said and knew he was catching on. “No, it doesn’t. I need to go.” She watched as Natalya took the phone from her and hung up the phone. She hoped he would get here soon. She was scared and needed help.

Natalya sighed, well that wasn’t very smart,” She said. “Steve is your man? And he will come to see if anything is wrong,” Natalya said. “Why would you invite him here to die?” Natalya asked. “Do you care about him at all?” She asked. “I’m a professional Kate Blackwell, I don’t kill people unless I have to. All I want to know is where James Buchanan Barnes is,” She said as she began to feel cracks in her emotions. She wasn’t even certain this James was the man she sought.

Kate wasn't going to give up James' location to this woman. James was Steve's friend and she cared about Steve which meant, by extension, that she cared about James. She didn't know what this woman wanted with him, but she wasn't going to give up his location. Kate felt her resolve set in. If she had to die then so be it, but she wasn't going to give up his location. Natalya would see Kate's jaw set in determination.

"I'm not telling you."

Natalya smiled darkly at Kste then glanced toward the kitchen. Her smile increased as she moved toward the knife block she had on the counter. She pulled out a couple different knives until she found the one she wanted. The sharpest one.

She was deliberately slow about it and she fiddled with it as she came back toward Kate. “Your a beautiful woman Kate. How do you think your Steve would take you if you weren’t so beautiful?” She said. She didn’t want to hurt this woman but she had a feeling she knew where this James was. Normally, Natalya was able to compartmentalize thought and emotion into an action. But she really didn’t want to torture Kate. She was no longer an SSB agent. She wasn’t anything anymore. A wild panther to be pulled down. A creature out of its controlled environment. Out of its cage.

“Please Kate…” she said as her emotions broke through again. “I need to know where he is. I’m not working for the SSB. I need to find him!” She said in a desperate voice as she fell to her knees before Kate. She felt her sanity breaking apart.

“They...they ruined me Kate. They took everything from me. Everything. I am...not...going...to...ask...again. “Where, is James Buchanan Barnes!?” She asked and her eyes had an angry, wild look to them.

Kate was facing towards the kitchen and so she could see Natalya move into the kitchen and over to her knife block. Her heartbeat began to increase even more as she watched her pull out a few until she had found the sharpest one. Her heart felt as if it might break her ribs it was beating so hard. She wasn't sure what this woman's intentions were with the knife, but Kate was an extremely well trained SHIELD agent. She wasn't going to break. However. she could see the cracks in Natalya's emotions starting to form. She was no longer cool and calm, but was now even more dangerous.

"I'm not going to tell you!"

Natalya was up in an instant and she came to straddle Kate I’m her lap. She shoved her head back and grabbed hold of neck. “Does Steve think your beautiful Kate?” Natalya asked as she dragged the tip of the knife down her cheek, “If you knew what I wanted James for...but you are stubborn,” she said as Kate felt a prick from the knife. “Oops, I made a mark,” she said then punched Kate with her fist that held the knife. And then she just began and rain blows onto her face. Her eye, her nose, her cheeks and her mouth. And then she slid off of her and began on her body. Her stomach, her chest, her breasts. Wildly she punched her over and over hard. But it was not enough to knock her unconscious. Natalya seemed to know where exactly to hit her. She hit her with the edge of her hand, her closed fist and the base of her palm.

It was just Steve and Janes in the tower and Steve did not want to leave James alone. So he decided, against his better judgement to bring him with him to check up on Kate. He had an odd vibe about the call. And the bit about the chocolate made an alarm go off in his head. He decided to bring his shield though he went in his plain clothes.

They arrived in just over 15 minutes and he stepped up to the door. He was about to hit the buzzer but James pulled his hand back. “If she’s in trouble you’ll only alert the people inside,” he said calmly. James still didn’t exhibit a lot of emotion. But it had been getting better. Instead James room hold of the door handle and twisted it until it snapped off. The lock mechanism broke and the door slid open. They both went inside and got into the elevator.

Natalya finally stopped. Kate was a mass of bleeding and bruises. Natalya took the knife and held it up to her throat. “A man, it could have been this James Barnes came to me during my training. He fell in love with me I think and I want to find him,” she whispered into Kate’s ear. “Please, tell me where he is Kate,” Natalya whispered.

Kate held her tongue as Natalya rained blows down upon her. They hurt and she had no way of defending herself. She kept her eyes closed and willed herself not to say anything. Inside her head, she was crying for Steve though. She didn't know how much longer she could hold out.

Suddenly, she heard a key in the lock and knew it was Steve. Natalya got back behind Kate and she put the knife at her throat. She pricked the skin enough to where a trickle of blood began to run down. "Come any closer and I will slit her throat!"

The door slowly opened…

Steve was centered on the door with his shield ready to act. When his eyes caught sight of Kate though he gasped and his eyes opened wide in shock and horror as he saw her. Saw her bloody and bruised face. “Yo let her go!” Steve growled. But he did not move. And then Bucky shifted and looked inside the apartment.

Natalya has the tip of the knife poised to drive into Kate’s neck. She’d sever an artery and she’d bleed out in just over a minute. And then she saw James’s face just as James saw hers. His eyes grew wide in shock and he felt his heart suddenly quicken. But he saw Kate too and knew that Natalya was responsible. Kate drew back the knife them dropped it. It thudded to the floor. “It IS you!” Nayalya said in a soft, breathless gasp. And then Steve moved like a viper that uncoiled and struck. “Steve...no!” James said quickly as Steve attacked. Enraged at what he saw, at how the woman he loved had been beaten and tortured Steve used his shield to bash Natalya. Natalya pulled out her pistol but Steve smashed her wrist with his shield. Her bones there made a distinct ‘snap’ when they broke but he then bashed her in the side of the head, hard. He grabbed hold of her and threw her down onto the floor. He came down on her with his knees and slapped her unbroken hand away. He raised his shield up with both hands to use its edge in a killing stroke.

James has moved but he was too far to stop him physically. “Nooooo!” He cried. Steve’s face was a mask of unbridled rage and hate to Natalya.

Natalya’s memories were a jumble of so many different things. She knew James was there and she recognized him and knew she felt something for him, but she wasn’t sure what that was. Before she could open her mouth to say something to him though, the man with the shield attacked. She tried to defend herself, but he moved so quickly and with such strength that she had no chance against him. She felt her wrist snap and she fell back onto her back on the ground. She was terrified as she looked up at the man and saw him poised to kill her with his shield.

Kate saw what Steve was about to do and she knew she needed to stop him. “Steve! Stop! It’s Natalya!”

Steve felt so much rage for this woman. Kate looked really hurt! Steve growled as he fought with the desire to end the woman. But he heard Kate and James. Steve waivered and he lowered his shield. Before he set it aside though he snatched the woman’s pistol out of its holster then pressed the edge of his shield up against her throat. He leaned toward her.

“If you ever touch her again, I will kill you,” Steve said in a soft snarl Then got up off of her. As he did James was there above her. Steve moved to Kate and set his shield aside. As he did he bent her pistol to the point it was unusable then tossed it aside. He wanted to kiss Kate over and over but there wasn’t a spot on her face that wasn’t covered in blood or bruised. Her left cheek was red and puffy from her jawline to her forehead. Her left eye was closed and it was difficult for her to talk. Steve tried to control his emotions, he wanted to cry as he began to rip the tape away from her.

“Is it really you?” James asked softly. He was not certain if he could or should, believe his own eyes.

Kate was in pain. She knew she looked horrible without even looking in a mirror. Her face throbbed and her wrists burned from where the duct tape had been placed. The skin was red and raw. She was visibly trembling and all but collapsed into Steve’s arms.

Natalya’s broken wrist hurt, but she had been trained not to show pain. She looked up at the man above her and her mind struggled to remember him. “James?”

James went down onto one knee and gently helped Natalya up. He looked over at Steve and Kate then back to Natalya. He wanted to be able to put it all together. The name, Natalya, with the face. The face that he had seen in his dreams. But he wasn’t completely certain.

“Yes, I’m James Barnes,” He said He saw her wrist. It would need to be set but otherwise she looked to be in decent health. “Why did you harm Kata? You shouldn’t of harmed her,” James said in a level tone.

“Kate, we need to get you to a hospital...but...do you have the strong handcuffs? I can’t allow her to get away,” Steve said. When Kate told him where they were Steve nodded and moved her over to the couch He didn’t want to set her down but he had to. They had to restrain Natalya. He found 2 sets of them right where Kate said they’d be and brought them over to James and Natalya. He handed them to James. “Put them on her,” Steve said, not looking at the woman. He couldn’t look at her. He moved to the kitchen, found a gallon plastic bag in the cupboard then began to fill it with ice. He wrapped that in a dry dish towel then brought it back over to Kate.

“Ok, hold this on your face, I’m taking you out of here,” Steve said and lifted her up easily. James looked at Natalya. “I need to put these on you Natalya. It won’t work any other way,” James said calmly as he looked at her. ‘Where are my feelings?’ He wondered. He felt...something, but he was having a difficult time understanding what he was really feeling right then.

Natalya didn't speak. Her mind was desperately trying to figure everything out. She looked over at Kate and did feel remorse for hurting her. However, she then felt confused as to why she felt remorse. Her training told her not to feel it and yet she did. She didn't understand what was happening to herself. She put her hands back behind her back and she allowed James to handcuff her. She then watched as Steve picked up Kate and carried her out of the apartment. Once they were gone she spoke to James.

"Please...just kill me."

James only looked at her. He was behind her and guided her toward the door. He stopped when he heard what she said and turned her to face him. His eyes looked deeply into hers, what was going on in her head right then? “You found me and now you want me to kill you? That doesn’t make any sense, Natalya. I don’t want to kill you. You brutalized Kate and she didn’t want you dead. Own what you did and then we can move on,” He said “There is no redemption for us, not really. No forgiveness. But we can choose how we spend the rest of our lives. How would you spend yours? I remember a girl, she was young but wanted to feel...something. I think I loved that girl...once. I think I did but its all so hazy in my mind. You found me Natalya, and so I am here. Come with me,” he asked her as he looked into her eyes.