The Impossibility Of Reason (January 2012)

Malcolm trained with the team three times a week and stayed with Natalya on those days. He was out of town 3 days a week and he stayed in his penthouse for 1. That’s how his weeks went for the most part. Missions came and went and more and more he tossed his more mundane responsibilities onto his sister. He no longer did appearances, no longer did photo shoots and Rachael had been forced to hire other models to model for his Inertia clothing line that had recently began selling Internationally. He switched his charities to coincide with the Starks and his 3 days out of town dissolved into 3 days at his own apartment and 4 days in the tower with Natalya.

Logan and Natalya were always close but lately, with her problems with Malcolm, she had confided in him. For a while now Logan had been thinking and feeling that he wanted to give him and Natalya another shot but he wasn’t certain how to broach the subject with her. When Malcolm was at the tower they were two peas in a pod. He made her laugh and she seemed to take pride in teaching him what she knew about combat. Logan taught him as well as Kate and he found it difficult to dislike the man. He listened, rarely made the same mistake twice. He was humble and kind. Considerate and respectful. Logan was none of those things but He and Natalya held an unshakable bond. They ‘understood’ one another in a way that no one else ever would.

They were in the gym trying out some of the new equipment Tony had designed and it had recently been installed. There was a bench that you strapped a leg in. You stood with one leg bent, strapped into the bench and it shifted as you lunged. It was an odd feeling and it seemed to capture more muscle groups. Alot more. Logan had tried it out but Natalya was now trying to get into it. He had explained what she had to do but each time she lifted up she was lifting up her foot as well. What this did was change which muscles were getting the workout and she was missing the whole point of the exercise. Logan moved up behind her, put his hands on her hips and he rested his left leg right behind her left heel to try and apply pressure so that she didn’t lift her bloody foot!

Natalya always wore this form fitting, skin tight pants that showed nearly everything. She had a very nice butt, well defined legs and nice hips. She felt...good in his hands. It had been a very long time since he had had sex but he was certainly thinking about it now. She began the exercise and her butt rubbed up against him. It seemed though she felt ‘him’ behind her and she stopped and turned her head to look at him. Normally Logan succeeded in separating emotion from work but he certainly failed now and Malcolm was no where on his mind right then. Natalya was though and a pang of love and desire for her overcame him. He leaned into her, his hands grew tighter on her hips and he kissed her hard on the lips.

“I need you Natalya, I need you now!” Logan whispered as his hands moved around to her front. One hand lifted up the top of her yoga pants while his right moved inside toward her center.

Natalya had been surprised by how much Malcolm had begun to change in his life. While his identity as Velocity wasn't known by the public he trained with the team and even had gone out on missions with them. He began to give up a lot of parts of his public life, including making public appearances at events, and had even aligned his charities to match the Starks. He began to spend more time in the Tower than he ever had before. They had taken the diamond jewelry Malcolm had given her and it had been sold off and then the money they received for it had gone to the charities he supported. The most surprising thing for Natalya had been when Malcolm had even stepped away from his clothing line, Intertia. She knew how much that business meant to him and he had given it up to spend more time with her and more time with the team.

Natalya and Logan were still very close. Malcolm didn't seem to mind that they trained together, as long as she didn't undress in front of him. Natalya and Logan had a very set schedule that they kept to. Both of them liked to remain busy and active. Natalya was one of the very few who wasn't at all scared of Logan and knew how to take him down. They were tough on each other during trainings because they knew it could be the difference between life and death.

Today, they were using a new piece of equipment that Tony had designed that targeted different muscle groups in the legs. Logan had tried it first and now Natalya was giving it a shot. It was tricky to figure out and eventually Logan came to stand behind her. She felt his rough hands on her hips and left leg behind her left heel to apply some pressure. Because he was standing so close behind her, her butt rubbed up against him. Suddenly, Natalya felt 'him'. She stopped what she was doing and slowly turned her head to look at him. Natalya and Logan had slept together a handful of times during the time between him bringing her to the Tower and her meeting Malcolm. They had briefly tried a real relationship, but Logan hadn't been able to give her the love and emotions she truly needed. They had continued to have sex though on occasion. But all of that had ended when she had agreed to this relationship with Malcolm.

She felt Logan's grip on her hips tighten and he pulled her close and kissed her...hard. She couldn't help herself and she kissed him back. However, as he pulled back from the kiss and she felt his hand start to move down under the waist band of her pants she knew she needed to stop this.

"Stop Logan..." she said as she took hold of his hand and pulled it out.

Logan kept his face close to hers. “Why, afraid you might like it?” he asked in a whispered rasp. He felt her hand on his wrist and he shook it off then grabbed her neck and kissed her again tasting her tongue. He pressed himself into her butt with his left hand and she’s feel how hard he was for her.

Natalya started to kiss Logan back again, but then her mind kicked in and she pulled back from him and stepped back several feet. She looked at him in disbelief.

"What are you doing to me Logan? Do you realize that for the first time in my life I'm in a relationship with someone who loves me and isn't just trying to use me? With someone who isn't trying to manipulate me and control my entire life? With someone who appreciates more than just my body? You're trying to ruin that for me Logan."

Logan just stood there and looked at her for a moment. His eyes were intent on hers and his brows slowly began to furl down in irritation. “I’m not ‘trying’ to mess up your relationship,” he said but thought about how odd that must sound. How can he tell her that he just wanted to be with her right then. Logan’s ability to disassemble was legendary. And his mind didn’t work like other people.

“You wouldn’t have to tell him...I mean, are you really so different? Have I really lost you? I need you, and no one else Natalya,” he said uncertain if he was even making sense. He took a step toward her. He liked the way her lips felt on his and wanted to touch her again.

Natalya felt herself growing upset. Logan was her best friend and she didn't want to lose him, but in her heart she knew that it was wrong to sleep with him while she was with Malcolm. Malcolm had done a lot for her recently and she couldn't do that to him.

"Logan, I gave you the chance to have something more between us and you decided that that wasn't what you wanted. I'm with Malcolm now and I'm not going to sleep with you while I'm with him. I'm trying to change myself Logan...to not be the same woman I was with the SSB and that's the kind of woman I would have been. I thought you of all people would understand and support that."

“So I’m not allowed to change my mind? I’m lonely Natalya and you know who and what I am. You know me better than anyone on this earth. Sometimes you know me better than I know me,” He said. “I see you with him...and I find myself feeling jealous. I find myself thinking I made a mistake,” he said and stepped up to her and put his hands on her arms. His grip was strong on her arms. “I know this is a shitty thing to do to Malcolm, don’t you think I know that?” He asked. “And this is not you going back to the way you were. I’m not trying to manipulate you. I’m not talking to you now about this just so you’ll fuck me. I simply want what Malcolm has. I want the whole you,” he said.

Natalya felt overwhelmed and suddenly very confused. She did love Logan...she knew that, but she also loved Malcolm. Malcolm had given himself over to Natalya fully, while Logan had held himself back. How did Natalya know that Logan wouldn't just revert things back to the way they had been after Malcolm was gone and he no longer had any reason to be jealous?

She looked away from Logan and felt tears come to her eyes. What the hell was she going to do? "I...I need some air..." she said suddenly before pulling away from him and quickly leaving the room. She grabbed her coat and left the Tower to go for a walk.