A Last Resort

The last 2 weeks had been amazing. Natalya didn’t stay at his play all the time but she did most of the time. He didn’t quite know what their relationship was because he had never met a woman like her. He tried not to concern himself to much about ‘how long’ this was all going to last. He had known she was her own woman on their first night together.

It came to no surprise that they were completely compatible in bed. Each time that they had sex the experience was better and more passionate. Once though when he became unusually curious he snooped in her handbag. She had a handgun in there and once he saw her do something odd with her pillow as if she might have one there as well. He never said anything about that though. He didn’t think she was a woman that liked to many questions. She was with him and while she was with him she ‘was’ his. A point she made abundantly clear. Especially with some of the things she let him do to her. Adventurous was an understatement.

St. Barts…

Chris had a property he needed to broker in Grand Fond. They put him and Natalya up in an all inclusive, one of their best and after the showing Chris was free to enjoy the resort for as long as he wanted. One week grew into two and Natalya seemed as if she never wanted to leave. She took to the island easily. Going for a run on the beach and a swim or a snorkel in the mornings, a walk along the market strip or lounging in the sun in the afternoon and in the evening, they had dinner and a walk along the shore in the moonlight. Each night was another hot, steamy episode of love making. They made love in the bed, on the floor, on the deck, on the terrace. In the pool, the hot tub, the ocean, anywhere the mood struck them. Most of the time Natalya barely even wore clothes and if she did, it was only a string bikini bottom.

Chris was relaxing in one of the lounge chairs that was just outside their doorwall. From their doorwall it was only a few steps into the large flowing pool that overlooked the beach and the ocean. He was reading a novel while Natalya went to the market strip where all the locals tried to sell her their goods. They began to expect her every afternoon, especially because she usually bought something from someone each day.

Natalya had never done anything like this before. Her experiences with men were one night only, but something about Chris pulled her in. It wasn't just sexual. It was nothing she had ever experienced before. She didn't want to leave him. For the first time in her life she was actually thinking about leaving the SSB. For the first time in her life she was questioning the work she was doing. For the first time in her life she was experiencing true feelings for someone. It both terrified and excited her. She was supposed to be checking in with Tatiana, but she 'missed' the check-in. She had never actually killed Senator Cromwell. He never showed up that night and though she could have tried again she decided not to. Instead, she planned for their trip to St. Barts.

The island was amazing. Lounging on the beach or by the pool, swimming in the clear waters, taking a moonlit walk, steamy nights of love making. It was all incredible and for the first time in her life Natalya felt...normal. Of course Chis did not know the truth about her and she feared if he did know that this would all be over and she wasn't sure if she wanted it to be.

Natalya walked down to the market. She was wearing a pair of rather short shorts that showed off her long, well toned legs, and a tank top. Her hair was pulled back into a messy, low bun and she wore her sunglasses. She was tanned from all her time spent out in the sun. She loved the market strip. She went there everyday. She carried cash with her that Chris had given her to buy whatever she wanted. She smiled when she saw the locals and she began to walk through the stalls.

The old woman at the first stall had long, gray hair. She held up fresh mangos for Natalya and offered her a slice. The next stall had cloth and hemp weaved into clothes of different kinds and colors. The next were stone figurines shaped and polished in different shapes. There were wood carvers, spices, and even a couple rastafarians that had weed for sale. There was fresh fish, silks, confections and beans. Fruit, vegetables, knives, machetes, hatches and other weapons, tools one might need in a tropical place. All of the sellers were willing to haggle with her and all always greeted her with smiles.

Chris had come inside at some point while she was gone. He had taken a shower and then fallen asleep with just a towel covering him from the waist down.

Natalya loved looking through at everything that was for sale. The vendors loved talking to her and she would ask them questions. Today, she purchased some fresh fruit, vegetables and fish. They had a kitchen in their suite and Chris loved to cook.

When she walked in she smiled when she saw him. She set the bags down. Her movement caused him to wake up and she grinned at him. “I must be wearing you out if you have to take a nap after showering.”

Chris had been tired, it was the alcohol more than anything else but so far his body seemed to be holding up just fine. Natalya had stamina beyond what he had but he felt he could keep up with her. He shifted his towel and exposed his nakedness to her. “Well why don’t you come here and wake me up and find out if I’m worn out or not,” he said. He wasn’t ‘ready’ for her but it usually didn’t take much coaxing.

“Did you find anything good at the market?” he asked when he looked at her bags. He put his arms behind his head and grinned at her as she looked him over. “The house sold so they are very pleased with me. Are you Natalya, pleased with me too?” he asked suggestively with a smile.

Natalya looked over at Chris with a little grin and as she did a strong feeling came over her. Having never experienced true happiness before she hadn’t known what it was at first. However, it was a feeling she liked. It made her feel...good.

“I got some fresh fruit and vegetables and some fish,” she told him as she put the items in the refrigerator. “I thought we could stay in tonight.”

She then walked over to Chris and began to kiss him. “I am pleased the house sold,” she told him between kisses. “And I am pleased with you,” she responded with a grin.

Chris pulled her onto the bed and he smiled when he kissed her. She made him so very happy and he hoped this feeling he knew she shared would never end. He didn’t care who she was or who she had been right then. Natalya was with him now and he’d do whatever he had to to keep her with him. To keep her happy. They kissed for a long while but eventually he had to get up.

He used olive oil, a few spices and lemon to marinade the fish and he made a chutney using Mango’s parsley and spices. They didn’t have alot in the kitchen but what he prepared would do. He called and had them bring him the white wine he wanted along with some asparagus to go with their fish. For lunch he sliced the mango and tossed it into the freezer to get cold. They had a full bar and he made mango and lime inspired cocktails in a pitcher for them.

WIth a small tray he had the mango and the cocktails and he carried out to where Natalya was sunning herself on one of the loungers by their pool. Her skin was actually pretty dark now. A perfect bronze that only enhanced her already knockout good looks. She wore bikini bottoms and sunglasses and she was the most beautiful woman he had ever known. He had cut the mango in large pieces so they could share and he knelt beside her as he saw her open her eyes and look at him. “Hungry?” he asked as he picked up a piece of mango with his fingers, it was still chilly from the freezer and he rubbed it on her lips playfully then let her take it into her mouth. He smiled and she smiled obviously liking the taste and also perhaps the way he was feeding her. How something so simple made him so happy he couldn’t know but it did.

“I could really get used to this,” Chris said. His expression became more serious just then, he was thinking of telling her how he really felt about her but he decided not to right at that moment and his smile returned. For his piece he took it and rubbed it on her left nipple. He laughed at her reaction to the cold but he leaned over her and sucked on her nipple to taste the mango there. “Mmm,” he murmured then sat back up and ate his piece and gave her another. He handed her her cocktail then shifted and sat back on the lounger right next to hers. “You Natalya, are one, sexy beast,” he said as he gestured to her with his drink then took a sip.

Natalya really loved the sun here. Russia was always cold and dark. She enjoyed the light and the warmth. Being here with Chris was almost like a dream and she didn't want to wake up from it. Chris was kind and sweet to her and put her needs above his own. She had never met anyone like that before. She wanted to please him as he pleased her. She knew that eventually she would grow bored here, but perhaps she could find something else she could do back in New York that would alleviate the need she felt to constantly be active and training, while remaining with Chris. He made her...happy. That was the feeling that had developed in her...happiness. It was so foreign to her that she had not even known what it was. She could actually be happy...and she was. It was a wonderful feeling that she didn't want to end.

However, when Chris called her a 'sexy beast' her expression suddenly changed. It was the word 'beast' that had done it. It wasn't that Chris had said it...but that she had been called that numerous times by Tatiana and the SSB. Horrific memories started bubbling up and she sat up and then stood up and turned away from Chris for a moment to try and regain control of herself. She was clearly upset, although Chris might guess that the situation was far more complicated than it appeared.

Chris’s eyes followed her up and he could tell that what he said upset her. He set down his drink and stood up. “Natalya...I...didn’t mean to insult you. I’m...sorry,” he said as he moved up to her. He couldn’t place her expression but he saw her muscles flex as if she could either lash out at him or flee. He calmed his voice.

“I’ll...never say that again, I promise,” he said assuringly and he slowly and gently put his hand on her shoulder.

Natalya wanted to explain to Chris, but she couldn't. He wouldn't understand he would likely come to fear her...but she wanted to...so badly. She looked over at him and Chris might see a hint of wetness in her eyes. She turned to face him and then moved into his arms. Chris might begin to understand that Natalya was a far more complicated woman than she seemed. During the entire time she had been with him she had not once sought out comfort like this from him.

Chris held her tightly and kissed her forehead. Obviously, it wasn’t all just Champagne and caviar for the woman. And he would not press her or pump her for information. If she felt like talking he knew that she would. “Shh, its alright Natalya. I”m sorry ok?” he murmured as he kissed her. When she lifted up her face to look at him he lifted up her sunglasses and placed them up onto her head. He used his thumbs and gently wiped away her tears. “Its alright babe, its alright and I love you,” he said softly. Those words he had held back suddenly slipped out. It was a natural slip though, nothing had been forced. And he didn’t say those words because he thought she wanted to hear them. They were true, organic words that he honestly felt. He gently kissed her lips.

Natalya was surprised by what Chris said. He loved her? No one had every said those words to her before...at least not in this way...not in a way that was true and real. She didn't know how to feel at hearing those words. She enjoyed hearing it, but she could not say it back to Chris and she feared he would want her to.

She pulled back from the kiss and looked at him. "You shouldn't love me Chris. I'm not the woman you think I am...or want me to be. I'm...I'm dangerous."

Chris put a finger over her lips. “Its done Natalya, I do and I don’t want you to stop me or try to drive me away. I will not obligate you to anything or crowd you. I want you to see me as someone you can trust and can come to when you want to. I know you’re more than what you seem. And I know we can’t stay here forever. I just want you in my life, but only if you want to be.” he said as he looked into her eyes. He smiled at her and she’d see the love and affection he held for her in his eyes. “I want what exists between us to be real, not something forced or fake. Thats all I will ask of you,” he said. ‘Right now anyway’.

Natalya knew Chris didn't know what he was getting himself into and she hated that she couldn't explain it to him. He would be terrified of her if he learned the truth. She sighed and just decided to let it go for now, but she would have to figure something out. She didn't want to lie to him forever.

They eventually went back inside and that evening Chris cooked the fish and they ate it out on the balcony and drank some wine. They then took a moonlit walk on the beach before going back to their suite.

The warm wind blew at her long, dark hair and her sun robe that was so sheer he could see the shape of her body and the silhouette of her bare breasts underneath it. So feminine and yet not at the same time. Chris was dressed in long, linen pants and a short sleeve, light blue silk shirt that he didn’t bother to button. As they walked hand in hand Chris talked. He talked about his family and his work and what he liked and disliked. He spoke about where he wanted to end up and about his plans on retiring early so he could enjoy life. He owned a penthouse apartment in new york but he wasn’t really attached to it. He wasn’t the kind of man that wanted to be attached to ‘things’ because he liked to go where he wanted to go, when he wanted to go. His investments, his best friend Mike was his broker, and he was doing very well in that arena.

“So what’s missing from all of this is...you I guess. I want to fit you into all of this if you want to be,” he said. It was getting very late and they had moved off of the beach toward the stairs that led up to their room. They both knew what was going to happen once they got there. The need to be with one another, to be locked in that moment of pleasure for as long as possible was becoming an addiction to them both.

The foreplay and sensual touching lasted for a lot longer than it had previously and nothing about tonight was going to be rushed. He held her facing him as he balanced with her on his knees as she slowly rocked atop him. Their lips kissed one anothers and their arms held one another close as they made love. The windows were all open and the smell of the sea mixed with their sweat and the smell of their sex as they came together in one loud rush of passion. Sleep came easily afterward and Natalya had seemed to like being held tightly in his arms.

Natalya opened her eyes and looked at the clock. It was 3am and she had been having dreams about some of her past missions. Something inside of her was balanced as if on the edge of a knife and she didn’t know why just them. She felt Chris’s arms around her, he had barely moved. Her lips curled into a smile as she recalled how they had made love that night. Of how loved Chris really made her feel. But the smile faded as her senses suddenly came alive.

Natalya smelled gun oil and a faint hint of gasoline on the wind. Gun oil and gas and mint as if someone was chewing mint gum.

To be honest, Natalya wasn't sure where she fit in. She wanted to say that yes, she did want to fit into his life and his plans for the future, but something held her back. A fear...a fear that eventually her past could come back to haunt her and that it would affect Chris. She didn't want that for him and yet she wanted to be with him. She needed time to figure all of this out, but thankfully Chris seemed understanding and was not going to push her for an answer...at least not for the moment.

Natalya enjoyed the feeling of Chris' arms around her whenever she fell asleep. It was a comforting feeling. After their lovemaking, she fell asleep easily and quickly. Her dreams were filled with memories of past missions and she suddenly woke up. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was just past 3 a.m. She wasn't sure why she had woken up, but her body felt tense and she felt as if something was about to happen. Then, it hit her. The smell of gun oil and a hint of gasoline on the wind. But there was something else too...the smell of mint. Natalya knew in that moment that they had found her. She needed to protect Chris. They weren't here yet, but they were close. She gently shook Chris until he woke up. She kept her voice down, but there was a seriousness and urgency to it.

"Chris, I need you to do exactly what I'm about to tell you to do. I want you to take the handgun that's in my purse and go into the bathroom and close the door and lock it. Only use the gun if you need to. Go now."

Chris was startled when Natalya put a hand over his mouth. And startled again by what she said and the feel of a weapon put into his palm. He wanted to say something but the look in Natalya’s eyes, fear for him, not for herself, disabused him of that. Without allowing too much time to pass, he didn;t think she’d allow him to debate her he pulled her into a kiss. When he pulled away she thought he said, “I love you,” as he moved in a crouch to the bathroom. He shut the door, locked it and she knew that he was safe.  

Tatiana stood with her back to the doorwall that led to the terrace  that overlooked the ocean and the beach. Tatiana had been trying desperately to stop smoking by chewing gum though she hated chewing gum. She could only half tolerate the mint variety and only an American brand of gum at that. She had had Natalya get her some everytime she was in the US which was often of late. She had informed the recovery team to hold back until she could talk to Natalya. Natalya was her operative, her greatest achievement but even a favorite pupil can sometimes disappoint their mentors. Something that Tatiana did herself on more than one occasion. When she heard Natalya at the doorwall she didn’t even flinch or look in her direction.

“This is paradise, isn’t it? I think that perhaps I need a vacation myself. I wouldn’t mind a boy toy or three to fuck me silly for a few days or even a week,” she said candidly then slowly turned to face Natalya. She had a disgusting attraction to men much younger than she was. The smile she held on her face slowly drew down into the dangerous frown that was the norm.

Images of Tatiana telling the men that tortured and raped her to hit her harder and she gave them suggestions on how to violate her when their own imagination did not seem to suit her.

“If I thought for one moment that you intended on trying to leave I would have had him skinned alive right in front of you. I am willing to contend with the fact that you’ve been worked hard lately but playtime is over Natalya. If you fight we will still take you and I will make you kill him,” She said in that tone she took on when she meant what she said.

Natalya genuinely feared for Chris' life. She had never experienced that feeling before. That feeling of caring for someone else's safety over your own. With Chris she had experienced so many new feelings that she had never felt before...or thought herself capable of feeling before. A whole new world had been opened to her, but now that door was going to be closed and she knew she would never see Chris again. She was going to ensure he got out of here alive.

She put on her robe and stepped out onto the balcony where Tatiana was waiting for her. She stood there quietly as Tatiana spoke. She didn't have any other options. She knew there were others out there and if she made a wrong move they would kill her...or at least try to. She was backed into a corner and Tatiana knew that.

"He knows nothing. I've told him nothing. I go with you and you let him go alive and then leave him alone."