Breaking Out Of The Shell

Two weeks had passed and Peter had fully recovered from the suits invasion upon him. Logan, Natalya and Steve were training him hard every day and though he was doing well he had an apparent lack of confidence that was influencing his actions and his performance. He was always second guessing himself and erring on the side of caution when his abilities required him to move quickly to avoid taking damage. It all came out as himself not really trying very hard and it began to concern them. Especially Serena and Logan who knew what everyone else did not. The concern was that they had a mission coming up soon and if they left him out of it, it wouldn’t help him and if they brought him he might get hurt because of how he was acting. Not only that he had decided to sleep in his own room again and an awkwardness between him and Serena seemed to continue to grow between them.

Logan had gotten up early to begin breakfast but he saw that Serena was already up. She was in her sleeping clothes and a robe and she drank a cup of coffee at the table. He looked around and didn’t see anyone else up. A good time to speak to her about the white elephant in the room...Peter.

“So does your ‘insight’ have a fix for this? I’m not certain if he’s getting worse or better,” he said softly so his voice did not carry. “You two no longer together? I noticed him going to his own room the last few nights. That cant be good...what the hell is happening Serena? We’re supposed to be fixing this, instead its like something is working against us,” he said.

Serena and Tony had put the finishing touches on Peter's new suit, but they had yet to give it to him. Peter had fully recovered from what the suit had done to him, and yet he still wasn't back to his old self. He seemed...unsure of himself...especially in training simulations. Peter still had his powers, even without the suit, but he seemed more unsure about using them. He appeared to be withdrawing more into himself and no longer slept in the same room with her. This was all extremely concerning for Serena, but she continued to tell herself that it was just going to take time.

She found it difficult to sleep as her worries about Peter grew. She and Logan were now responsible for ensuring that Peter do whatever it was that he needed to do and she felt like she was failing him.

That morning she sat in the kitchen alone drinking a cup of coffee. She glanced over at Logan as he walked in. He and Natalya weren't yet married, but the wedding was coming up in a few weeks. She sighed a little when he asked her about Peter. "No, I don't have any insight on how to fix this. I keep telling myself that it's just going to take time, but maybe I'm fooling myself. We're still together...but he seems like he just needs space right now to figure things out. I'm not comfortable pushing him right now...not after all that he's been through. I keep thinking that if he becomes more confident in himself as Peter Parker then he'll make an even better Spider-Man, but he needs to realize that the suit he wears is just a suit...he's the one acting in the moment."

“Well can’t you know...help him with his confidence?” Logan asked and hoped she knew what he meant because he wasn’t going to say it right out. A lot was riding on Peter and he was becoming worried about him now. He didn’t want to sound like a pimp either and especially not to Serena.

“So what’s your plan to turn this around?” He asked hopefully.

Serena cocked an eyebrow at Logan's comment about her helping him with his confidence. She knew what he meant. She just sighed and shook her head and looked away a little before looking back at him.

"I don't really have a plan. I'm hoping that perhaps on this mission he will break out of this cycle he's in. He won't have his full suit, but he will have a mask...maybe that will be enough. I was also thinking about taking him to lunch at Rocco's. We haven't been there in a while and it's his favorite burger place."

“A mask? You can’t be serious. What good will a mask do? Just give him the suit. Make him happy Serena. It’s not like he’s doing much now as it is,” he suggested and shook his head and muttered about ‘Just a mask’

Serena sighed and shook her head. "I can't give him the suit yet Logan. I feel it in my bones. This is important. It's extremely important. He needs to understand who he is first and what Peter Park is capable of before he can be Spider-Man. Only when he realizes that can he have the suit. I don't know how I know, but I know this. I know it as solidly as I know that grass is green."

Peter knocked on Serena’s door. The mission was tomorrow where they were going to assault a Hydra base to destroy a cache of those Adamantium bullets. When he heard her invite him in he came in. He saw her on her bed with her laptop and he had an old backpack with him. “Serena can I talk to you for a minute?” Peter asked. When she nodded he came all the way in and shut the door behind him.

“I was just thinking...I have mixed feelings about going with you guys,” he said. “I Found my old suit,” he said and pulled out part of it from his old backpack. “It’s beaten up but I think it will do the job. You think there will be a problem if Inwear it? He asked.

Serena and Peter had gone out to lunch at Rocco's that afternoon and Peter had actually relaxed and they had had a good time. They had talked and smiled and laughed as they ate sliders, tater tots, and drank malts. They had even kissed a bit in the back booth were they were sitting until they received dirty looks from a few older women. That had just caused Peter and Serena to giggle like children.

After returning to the Tower, Serena had gone to her training with Natalya and she was now relaxing back in her room. She was reading a few scientific papers online when Peter knocked on her door. When he came in she noticed the old backpack. She recognized it as the one he had used in high school. Serena closed her laptop and set it aside as Peter told her about his mixed feelings about going with them on the mission tomorrow. When he showed her his old suit a memory rushed back into the front of her brain of when Peter had first showed her that suit. He had made it himself after discovering his powers. It was rather plain and was nothing but fabric. Serena knew that even if he wore that suit that he would still have to prove his abilities to himself without the use of an advanced technology suit.

She was quiet a moment before she got up and walked over to her dresser. She pulled open one of the drawers and pulled something out before walking back over to him.

"Well, I think it would be a problem if you wore it without the mask," she told him as she handed it to him with a smile. When Peter had gotten his new suit from her father he had ditched the old one, but she had kept the mask as a memento.

Cor several moments Peter just looked at the mask. He didn’t believe Serena had held onto it for so long. “You kept it?” He asked and he smiled. He held it up on his hand. “This will do I guess,” he said. “Thanks for hanging onto it though maybe you fancied having my head as a trophy?” He asked. He put the mask into his backpack. And then set the backpack down and looked at her.

“Serena.. I know we have a mission tomorrow. Could I...sleep in here tonight?” He asked innocently but it was clear that he hoped for more than just sleeping.

Serena smiled at Peter as he looked at the mask. "Well, I wasn't going to throw it out. It's an important piece of history. And I thought perhaps you might need it or want it one day...I guess I was right."

She watched as Peter put the mask in his backpack with his suit. When he asked if he could sleep in her room with her she gave him a little smile. "I was rather hoping you might want to," she admitted.

Peter moved slowly as he made Love to Serena. When he was in hihj school he had dreamed of her. Dreamed of heated nights that they shared one another like they were now. Hr could feel how warm she was. Her flesh was sweaty and it glistened wetly in the dim light. He kissed her as he moved and he felt her warm breath in his mouth. He lowered his head down and took her right nipple into his mouth and he felt her hands in his hair. Her touch urged him on and he sucked hard on her knowing that she liked that.

They came together and then collapsed together in a mass of damp, reddened flesh. Peter’s chest struggled to take in oxygen as it had gotten quite energetic at the end. He was happy to see that Serena as well was breathing hard and as they laid there they looked at one another and them broke out in laughter.

“So you think we’ll be fighting bad guys for our whole life Serena?” He asked. “I’m not certain I’d like that. We should be able to enjoy our lives to don’t you think?” He asked.

Serena and Peter had not made love in weeks...not since he had acquired the black suit. Although in actuality Serena had also not been with Peter for 15 years...nor any other man since Gambit's death. Her life after Gambit had been gone was an extremely lonely one. They had never gotten the chance to have any children and she knew that she could not return to Peter. But here was her second chance and she wasn't going to mess this up.

Afterward, she lay there beside him as they each tried to catch their breath and cool down. Peter's question caused her to look over at him as she considered an answer. She couldn't tell him the truth...which was, yes that they were going to be fighting bad guys for their whole lives, but that they would at least be together.

"I'm not sure, Peter. I hope not." She curled up next to him and looked up at him. "What do you picturing us doing if we weren't fighting bad guys?" she asked curiously.

Peter smoothed back some of her thick, dark hair. He loved Serena but part of him wondered if he was going to lose her. He was free from the nightmares now and the feelings of fear, anger and regret he felt from wearing that suit. But now he was filled with a melancholy that he could not purge out of his heart. Serena didn’t deserve a man that felt depressed all the time like he did. But he could not bring himself to leave because he loved her so much. He was just going through the motions of trying to be part of the team but his heart just wasn’t in it.

“I’d like us to be scientists or maybe teachers. I bet you’d be a wonderful teacher Serena. We could live on the water, maybe a lake somewhere and have children. A boy and a girl. We’d sit together on the deck with a coffee and watch the sunrise together before getting the kids up and ready for school. We’d make dinner together and talk about our days at the table. We’d take the boat out and just enjoy our lives. That’s what I see when I look at you. That’s what my heart sees anyway,” he said as he looked down at the bed. Obviously that’s what he wanted but she’d know that he knew that’s not what was going to happen. He knew her after all and knew she’d never give up this life. He didn’t say it though.

As Serena listened to Peter talk about what he pictured for their lives together she felt a few tears come to her eyes. She loved Peter so much and hearing what he wanted for them made her both happy and sad at the same time. She wanted that too. She wanted it more than she could ever express in words. Having lived through the horrible nightmare that she had she wanted peace and happiness, but she knew that would only come if they could stop Loki and William.

She smiled through her tears and wiped at her eyes. "That sounds...amazing Peter. I would like for us to try and make that happen one day. We could name the girl Willow May after your aunt."

Peter shifted and rolled back on top of her and looked her in the eyes. “So then what would you prefer? A lifetime of fighting and struggle or years of love and bliss? Lets just go, now. Take what we’ve made and buy a place and start a family,” he said excitedly. He smiled brightly when he spoke and the feel of her under him was also quite wonderful. His left leg was between her legs and his upper body rested on his elbows. Her breasts were exposed beneath him but he could feel her nipples rub up against his chest. “Forget about marriage and convention. Just be with me and let me love you how I’ve wanted to since...since I first approached you at your table in high school. We can try to get pregnant right away,” He said excitedly and his face was all smiles. “Willow May is a wonderful name Serena. I love you,” he said softly as he kissed her.

Serena hesitated and looked at Peter. She didn’t want to upset him, but they couldn’t leave this life...not yet. Far too much was at stake but she couldn’t tell him that. She sighed and gently reached up and touched the side of his face.

“Peter, we cant do that. Not yet anyway. We’re both still young. We have time.”

Peter didn’t know why Serena was so hesitant but it was clear that they were not at all on the same page. Did they think he was a fool? He could tell that something was going on. It was the way that both she and Logan looked at him sometimes. He couldn’t put his finger on anything but he knew it was odd. Peter sighed and rolled off of her. The thought had made him so happy and in an instant that bubble burst...by her. “Can’t can’t can’t, that’s all I hear from you,” he said as he rolled out of bed. He was agitated now. Everyone was just so close minded and thought they knew what was best for him. “Well you know what? I don’t agree. Tomorrow one of us could die Serena,” he said as he began to put on his sweatpants. “Well after tomorrow, I’m not certain I’m going to stay here. I think I’m done Serena. After tomorrow I’m through being something I’m not,” he said as he slipped on his shirt. “Maybe you and Logan can ‘talk’ about THAT,” he said as he headed toward the door.

Serena felt new tears come to her eyes. She hated doing this to Peter and she didn’t want to lie to him. “Peter, the world needs you. You are extremely important in preventing complete world devastation. I cannot tell you how I know this but I do...as much as I know that I want to marry you Peter.”

Peter reached for the door handle then heard what Serena said. His hand froze and he turned and looked at her. Part of him wanted to believe her. She certainly sounded like she was being truthful to him but then she added in the part of her wanting to marry him. He thought that that might be true but she added it in with the first part. Likely to persuade him not to leave. But he had just asked her straight out and she refused. She would not go with him and yet she was doing everything she could to make him stay. Could there be something to what she said about the world facing destruction? And then he remembered who he really was. A mutant who could sling webs at people. Now how would a guy who slung webs at people save the world?

Peter suddenly began to laugh. He laughed so hard his ribs hurt and he left the room and stepped away toward the kitchen still laughing. she was manipulating him alright. He was certain of that now he just didn't know why. He hated not believing her but her her assertion was so ridiculous that he wasn't going to talk about it anymore. After the mission he would go and let them make up whatever crazy stories they wanted to try to keep him there.

Serena’s heart began to break in her chest when Peter laughed at her. She felt a few tears slip down her cheeks that burned red with embarrassment. She watched Peter leave, still laughing and she felt herself starting to become more hurt and upset. She got up and walked over and slammed her door shut so hard the wall rattled and then locked it. She sank down into her bed and began to cry.