Memories Of What Had Been

“Serena, are you sure that not telling Peter what you’re doing is the best thing?” Steve asked. As thought and memory flooded back into her all at once. She was standing there with Peter’s black suit and Steve was trying to talk her into putting it back.

As her mind fluttered through her memories she remembered leaving the tower, meeting Gambit at the mansion and their relationship being rekindled. She remembered falling in love with him, her relationship with her parents souring and her eventual marriage to Gambit. She remembered their honeymoon and then returning to see Peter. She remembered him spitting in her face and the look of pure hatred he held for her for abandoning him.

Then there were the other memories as well. The Kree attack and almost everyone at the mansion slaughtered including Gambit who had sacrificed himself to save her. The horror of the world dying and watching her father die a slow death due to radiation poisoning. In the bunker there were so few of them left. Logan, Jean Gray, Pharaoh and other mutants she didn’t know. Of jean using her powers oh Pharaoh though seeing it as if she had seen it once before. And then of herself looking back as if looking through a skewed mirror.

Serena was in the tower. She was in the tower and Steve Rogers shifted and put his hands on her shoulders. “Serena, are you alright? You suddenly went pale...shall I wake your mother?” he asked. Her heart ached with the memory of the love she and gambit shared. Of how much he did love her and how much he made her feel loved. She even remembered how the red roses in her bouquet smelled and how she had just given it to Rogue who cried and hugged her. She was in the tower holding Peter’s black suit...She was IN the tower...

Serena awoke with a start. However, instead of being in her bed, she found herself standing in the Tower! She was face to face with Steve and in her hand she held Peter's black suit. Her mind was filled with memories, both happy and sad, but they were slightly foggy...as if they had been dragged through mud. She remembered being married to Gambit, but that their marriage was short lived. Gambit had died protecting her from a Kree attack and had died in her arms. The remembered the world being in ruins...including the Tower and watching the people she loved die. How was this possible? How was she back here? She had gone back in time close to 15 years. She felt sick to her stomach and dizzy as the reality of what was happening sank in.

In addition to the memories however there was something else in the back of her mind. She wasn't sure how she knew this...but she did...that she needed to not let this black suit touch Peter again. Peter was destined for...something and she had been sent back in time to ensure it happened. And it all started here...at this exact moment. She knew the choice she had made last time and she wouldn't make that same mistake. She would act and she would save Peter. She had to. She looked at Steve.

"Steve, I need you to believe me when I tell you that this suit is evil. It needs to be contained or destroyed. It is poisoning Peter and slowly killing him. I cannot let it touch Peter's skin again."

Steve’s eyebrows rose concernedly and then he glanced back down at the suit. “Then we have to get it to Tony to examine..should you even be carrying it?” he asked as they began to move. “How long has he had it? What kind of poison?” he asked quickly trying to get as much information as he could. Tony was working with a gauntlet. THough she didn’t know it yet, this one would be Serena’s. It could channel different kinds of energy depending on what she needed at the time. It was giving him a difficult time though. As he turned the spanner he gritted his teeth. “No, don’t you even think about it!” he growled then a coil snapped and went flying. “Damnit!” He said annoyedly. He almost had it that time! When he saw them in the doorway he waved them in and took note of their expressions.

“Whats the matter you look like you’ve both seen ghosts or something? Is that peter’s suit? What’s wrong with it? I don’t sew very well at all,” he lied.

Serena could feel the evil pulsing through the suit and she wanted to get it out of her hands as soon as humanly possible. She glanced at Steve as they quickly walked down to her father’s lab “He’s had it since before Aunt May died. It’s alien in nature. He found it inside a piece of a meteorite. It’s changing his personality and making him more violent.”

When they reached her father’s lab they walked in and she immediately tossed the suit on one of the tables.

“We need to contain or destroy this suit...immediately.” Before she could explain why to her father the suit actually began to move on its own. She saw her father’s eyes widen. “That’s the reason why.”

The suit slid off of the table and began to move across the floor. Tony moved over to the smaller lab table and quickly darned a pair of plastic gloves. He took up a large metal canister, opened it and then moved and dumped the contents over the suit.

Peter woke with what felt like a searing pain. He screamed as if his skin was on fire…

Tony continued to pour the substance and the suit seem to scream as well. It roiled and tried to move faster though it began to turn gray and white like it was becoming ice. As Tony followed it it tried to rear up but froze in place. Pieces of it began to break off and as one large piece rose up it froze in place as well as turn white. It cracked too and when it hit the floor it shattered into pieces. What remained didn’t live very long and in only a few more seconds it ceased to move at all. Once that happened peter’s screams suddenly stopped.

As soon as Serena heard Gambit start to scream she ran out of the lab. She ran down the hallway as quickly as she could. She was at Peter's room within seconds and she burst through the door just as the screams stopped. Peter was laying on the floor and was not moving. She rushed over to him and as she knelt down beside him a feeling of love washed over her. It was a love she knew deep down in her bones. She had made a mistake in leaving Peter...she knew that now. She loved Gambit as well, but the world was throwing Peter and herself back together. If that wasn't a sign that they were supposed to be together then nothing was.

She cradled Peter's head on her lap and caressed the side of his face and brushed back his soft brown curls. Tears came to her eyes. "Peter? Peter, can you hear me? Please be alright...I need you to be alright."

At first it appeared that Peter wasn’t breathing. His chest didn’t move and his heart didn’t beat. And then she felt something shift with in him. As she looked at him a black sludge oozed from his nose. There wasn’t a lot of it but it appeared to roil like the suit did as if it was alive. It oozes out and then fell onto the floor near Peter. A few moments later it stopped moving and then began to shrivel up. Before long it appear to flake away like ash.

Peter woke suddenly with a deep gasp as if he hadn’t been breathing for a long time. He didn’t appear to wake up though just breathe. The others rushed in including Isabella who had a gauntlet from her suit on. She used her medical scanner but her face still looked quite grim. “He’s breathing but I think he’s in a coma,” she said

Tears began to slip from Serena's eyes when she realized he wasn't breathing. She began to panic and was about to start CPR when suddenly a black sludge oozed from his nose and then fell onto the floor. It stopped moving and then began to shrivel up. Only after it was all out of his body did he suddenly begin to breathe again, however she could already tell that they weren't out of the woods just yet.

He was taken down to the medical suite and placed onto a biobed. He was hooked up to an IV and also a pulse and BP monitor. Serena sat down on the bed next to him and held his hand.

“Any change?” Logan asked as he got 2 beers from the fridge. Isabella loomed at the small kitchen monitor that’s she swiveled our to the table so she could keep an eye on him. She shook her head as Logan peeled off the caps with his fingers and handed one to Natalya.

“It just proves that tome is always fleeting. If we put off living we may not get a chance,” Steve said glumly as he looked over at William and Kate. Logan looked glum as well as he looked at Natalya.

Kate would know what he was thinking. Steve wanted a child of their own. More than one and so far nothing. All conversation cut off when they saw Serena.

Kate knew that Steve wanted another child and so did she. They had been actively trying, but nothing yet had happened. Kate knew that sometimes these things took time, but she was seriously beginning to wonder if the only way they could have a child is how William was created. However, she also knew that they needed to count their blessings because Natalya was robbed of the chance of ever even conceiving.

Serena had spent the last two hours down with Peter. She held his hand and just looked at him as he laid there. For the first time since 'waking up' she really had a chance to think about everything. All of her memories of her other life were still there, though cloudy. After Peter had spit in her face the two of them had not spoken again for 10 years. She had missed her best friend, particularly after she lost Gambit and then both her parents. She had never felt so alone as she had then. She also remembered other terrible things, such as Logan's wails of despair when he found Natalya's dead body. She had never heard anything as heart-wrenching as that sound.

After a while she got up and headed back upstairs. She was thirsty and wanted something to drink. As she had approached the kitchen she could hear conversation, but when she walked in they all ceased. She glanced at everyone.

"He's not awake."

Logan frowned, he had seen her looking at him as she approached them and he knew despair when he saw it. He didn’t say anything right then, not with everyone else there but he knew he would speak to her alone eventually. He had never had so much as now and looked over at Natalya. She was so beautiful and when she wasn’t fighting or covered in blood and grime he saw her as just a woman. Nothing more, nothing less and secretly he thought that she liked that.

“It’s just going to take time kiddo,” Tony said. “What happened to you earlier?” Steve asked. “You went white as a sheet and I thought that you’d fall over,” he said. “What?!” Isabella asked and her head jerked up. “Serena, What la wrong?” She asked.

Serena walked over to the refrigerator and got out a Diet Coke. She glanced over at Steve when he began to question her about what had happened to her earlier. Of course, her mother began to become upset. She sighed a little. "I'm fine Mom. I promise. I was probably just feeling the effects of the suit," she said. It sounded reasonable and she hoped they would buy it. She didn't want to be questioned about it anymore.

Her explanation seemed to placate everyone and after dinner when she had gone down again Logan came down to speak to her. “No change?” He asked and didn’t immediately respond when she just shook her head.

“You can fool the others but I saw your look. I saw your eyes when you looked at me. What did you see?” He asked plainly.

Serena was fairly quiet through dinner, but Isabella assumed it was because she was worried about Peter. After dinner was over Serena went back down to the medical suite to check on Peter. She was sitting on the edge of the bed again when suddenly Logan came down. She stood up and looked at him. His question surprised her and she struggled to come up with an answer. "I...I don't know what you are talking about."

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Well that was convincing...not,” he said as he came over to the opposite side of the bed to look at Peter. “You looked at me as if I was already dead,” he said and noticed that her heart rate had jumped and she was perspiring. He could hear and smell extremely well after all.

“Does this have anything to do with Jean Gray?” He asked out of the blue. He had dreamed about her recently. But it wasn’t his dream. He n ew that it was Jeans dream pushed into his.

Serena sighed and could see that she wasn't going to be able to fool Logan. He wasn't going to leave her alone until she told him something. She thought about just telling him a small part, but she knew she wouldn't be able to do that and have him believe her. She motioned for Logan to step away from Peter with her. If Peter woke up then she didn't want him to over hear what she was about to say.

"Logan, I was sent back in time to day from 15 years in the future." When Logan didn't laugh at her she continued on. She told him everything, from Venom, to Peter attacking her, to her getting back together and marrying Gambit, to Gambit's death by the Kree. She then hesitated and she looked away from Logan before forcing herself to look back at him. "The reason I looked at you as I did was because there is a heart-wrenching memory I have of you. It was...after you found Natalya's dead body. You fell down onto your knees and sobbed over her..." Tears came to her eyes as she thought about it. "It was the most painful sound I have ever heard. You wouldn't let anyone touch her for close to 12 hours. You were never the same after that and you craved death."

Logan’s face took on a grim caste to it as he listened. If it were anyone else he might think they were crazy. But it was Serena. And she was not prone to flights of fancy.

“So then we need to make certain that this does not happen. And we must protect Peter,” he said. Then pointed at her. “I won’t lose Natalya. There is no other woman for me in this world. I can’t lose her so we have to do everything we can to make certain that fate does not happen. Do you know who is leading the Kre in this endeavor? You know Captain Marvel lives with them for quite a long time. Perhaps we could speak to her?” He asked. “Though that would mean Nick Fury,” He said and gagged.

Serena was rather relieved when Logan actually believed her. Serena didn't just makeup stories and she knew that she could trust Logan with this secret. They couldn't tell anyone else on the team. When Logan asked her if she knew who had led the Kree to destroy the world she sighed. She knew that if Logan knew that William was the cause of Natalya's death that he would likely take drastic action. She couldn't tell him. He would just have to trust her.

"I do know who led the Kree, but I cannot tell you Logan. I need you to just trust me in this and help me protect Peter. Can you do that?"

“He won’t like that but I will do it if it means giving us all a future,” he said. “Finding out who was driving this..Doom bus...we need help maybe,” he said. “I can’t lose Natalya. Your description of the future is horrible Serena.and if you remember it, then someone is helping us,” he said as he looked at Peter.

“How are you coping with those memories? I remember Gambit, we were friends,” he said.

“How munch does Peter mean to you Serena? Enough to find out what’s happening?” He askd

Serena sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It was much longer now than she had had it before. She had cut her hair into a pixi cut after her father's death. Her mother had already been dead for two years and she had felt hopelessly lost and alone. She had cut her hair herself with a pair of scissors in a bathroom. Her hair now felt silky and smooth, but before it had always felt dirty.

"I...I'm not really sure how I'm coping at this point," she told him honestly. "It's so strange being back here...and yet at the same time it isn't. I don't really know how to describe it." She looked around the corner at Peter, who was still unconscious, and then looked back at Logan. "Peter means everything to me Logan. I love him and I want to help him."

“Then we need more help. We need more allies. The Kree are an advanced people. And if they are thinking we’re easy meat then they don’t know us very well,” he said. He touched Peter’s shoulder. “Wake up son,” he said and then left her alone with him.

When he got back to his and Natalya’s room he attacked her with the love and desire he had for her. And he did not care who heard them.

Tony couldn’t sleep. In the dark of their room he turned and put his feet onto the floor and rubbed his head in his hands then turned and looked at Isabella. He looked at her silently and smiled. Isabella was still such a beautiful
Woman and he loved her so much it hurt sometimes. Even when she was angry or upset he decided. He could see the lines of age and worry but he could also see beyond that to the woman that meant so much to him. She had been his faithful companion for nearly 25 years.

Tony was worried about Peter and he wasn’t certain if there was anything they could do for him. “I love you babe,” he whispered to his sleeping wife.

As Serena held Peter’s hand every once in a while it moved. He never woke up but his nerves were firing and that was a good sign. Even more of a good sign was that his eyes suddenly opened.

Serena was glad to know that Logan was ready to help her protect Peter. She knew he was doing it because of Natalya, but the reason behind it didn’t matter to her. Only the end result. She refused to leave Peter’s side and she remained with him long into the night. She eventually laid down next to him, but never released his hand. She spoke quietly to him, hoping the sound of her voice would help him. Every so often she felt his hand move in her own. However, it was just as she was starting to fall asleep that his eyes suddenly opened. She immediately sat up and looked at him.

“Peter?”

Peter was wracked by such horrible nightmares. The people that he loved and cared about ran from him like he was some kind of crazy murderer in a horror movie. THey pleaded for him not to hurt them but he didn’t listen. He woke up when his hands had gone around Serena’s throat.

Peter felt his eyes flutter open and immediately he knew it was just a bad dream. He had tears in his eyes, whether from what he had done or from the light in the room he didn’t know. When he tried to tilt his head up off of the pillow he winced and the room began to spin. His mouth worked but no sound seemed to come out immediately. He had a strong feeling as if something was missing but he didn't know what it was. He heard Serena’s voice and felt her hand in his.

Slowly he turned to face her. He had no idea that in the span of what likely was only a few moments Serena had lived years. Every moment of those years, everything she did and everything everyone else did was in her memory. Those memories were hazy at best but she knew she had left Peter when she could have done more to help him. She left him and he despised her for it. That was that other life though. And for some reason she was allowed to keep those memories. For good or Ill she could not know but this time she hadn’t abandoned him. She saved him.

“I...had a terrible nightmare Serena. I…hurt you and you left. It was the worst feeling I ever felt,” he said as his grip on her hand tightened as if he were afraid she was going to leave. “Please don’t leave me Serena,” he said as tears began to flow down his cheeks. “I can’t lose you now!” He said as he cried as if he really had hurt her. It was all so confused inside his head.

Serena looked down at Peter and she saw fear, worry, and pain in his eyes. As they filled with tears she tightened her grip on his hand. She reached out and gently caressed the side of his face and brushed back his hair. From what he was saying he actually did remember some of what had happened before as well, but he believed it was just a dream and she wanted to keep it that way.

"Shhhh, Peter," she said gently. "It was just a dream, that's all. I'm here and you haven't hurt me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sure your dreams were just caused by the suit. We destroyed it and whatever was left inside of you is gone. You're free again Peter and now we can move on. I love you Peter Parker."

His look changed when she said they destroyed it. He had never been completely convinced that there was anything wrong with it. Now he didn’t even have a suit. What was going to happen to spiderman? What?! He tried to withdraw his hand but she wouldn’t let him and a look of hurt came over him as he turned away from her.

“Why did you do that!?” He said getting upset but it all came out as a croak. “Now I have..nothing!” he said as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. As far as he knew her father would not give him back his suit and he hadn’t said anything to her that he would, even now. There was an edge to Peter that hadn’t been there before. Likely a side effect from his prolonged exposure to the creature. He let her continued to hold his hand though.