A Small Wager

Logan was about to hit another ball when he saw Natalya Cross his field of vision. Just after he heard what she said he tossed his cue at her and not idly. “She caught it smoothly out of the air...ofcourse. “Not unless you join the game,” Logan said plainly then turned toward the cue rack and got another cue. He picked up the cue chalk and rolled it around on the end of his cue a few times then set it down on the side of the pool table. He looked at her the whole time while he did this and didn’t stop looking at her until he looked down at what he had on the table.

“You know I’m probably old enough to be your grandfathers, father,” he said plainly and also a little grumpily as he lined up his next shot. He punched the cue ball into the 6 ball and it slid along the side and fell into the corner pocket to his far right.

“I’ve seen a lot of friends die...and some that were more than friends,” he said honestly. “I had a girlfriend once...when I waslumberjacking in Canada. But as it always happens, some bad people came looking for me and they killed her,” he said as he looked for his next shot. He spoke as if he were describing the ingredients of pancake batter with almost no emotion.

“People like us keep doing what we do until that bullet with our name on it hits us square between the eyes,” he said and gestured to exemplify his point. “What’s the point of ‘being’ more or ‘sharing’ yourself with someone if they end up dead anyway? Then it is only you that’s left to remember,” he said coldly and lined up his next shot.

Natalya's hand instinctively shot out and caught the pool cue in mid-air. She watched Logan as he picked up another cue from the rack and then prepared to take his shot. As he looked at her, their eyes met and she didn't break his gaze until he looked down at the table finally. She listened to him quietly...letting him speak his mind. Clearly, he knew what she had come here to talk to him about. It broke her heart listening to him. She and Logan were close, but he had never opened up this much to her. He wasn't about sharing his feelings and she hated knowing how lonely he must truly be.

"Logan, I will never be able to fully understand all that you've been through. I can't imagine living as long as you have and watching your friends and lovers die. I cannot deny my feelings for you. I do love you. You mean everything to me. I wouldn't be here...I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. You were my first friend...and are my best friend. Your friendship means so much to me that I fear what might happen to it if...I cannot lose you."

His next shot missed terribly, the 2 ball bounced on the corner of the side pocket and rolled into traffic on the other side. He straightened and stepped back and stood with his cue in front of him. “I’ve wanted to know what your lips taste like since the first day that I saw you. And I come into your room with beers in my hands because If I let them do what they want to do…” he said but didn’t finish what she knew he was going to say. He was looking at the table, at what her next shot might be mainly because he didn’t want to be looking at her right then. Or chance at meeting her eyes.

Natalya winced at Logan's shot, but it was what he said next that drew her attention. She actually felt her cheeks grow warm at his words and she was left rather speechless. She was quiet and looked away from him and down to the pool table. She was deep in thought for a moment as she lined up her shot. She took her shot and sunk one of the balls into the side pocket. She began to line up her next shot and then glanced at Logan. "Ok, how about this...you win the next game and I'll let you kiss me."

Without warning Logan growled and then he snapped his pool cue by breaking it over his knee.once he readied the pieces in his hands he attacked Natalya. She managed to block his first attack with her cue but he struck her hard with his offhand on the wrist and he refused to let up. He pressed her hard attacking all out and he forced her to defend almost wildly to fend him off. She had the advantage of reach but Logan allowed her to strike him just so he could strike her in riposte. She was faster and more accurate than he was but he was just as strong and his wild ferocity he used to his advantage. She struck him in the side, the arm and across the nose. He struck her in the hip, across her chest and on the shoulder. This was not them sparring, this was real fighting and he did not pull his punches. At the end of it she kicked him so hard she flung him over the table and he crashed into the pool cue racks. He stood back up right away but he staggered back against the wall behind him. He bled from the nose and the side of his mouth and he tossed away his weapons. Natalya wasn’t much better off and he might have really hurt her wrist as well.

“I didn’t tell you what I told you to get your sympathy or to obligate you into anything Nat!” He said angrily. “Don’t you get it?! I’m not playing games,” he growled but then looked at the pool table. “I mean...well you know what I mean!” He said in his low, throaty voice.

Natalya's left wrist ached. She gripped it with her right hand and turned away from Logan. She was trembling from a mixture of adrenaline and fear. Logan had never actually attacked her before. It wasn't that she could take it, but it was more the shock of the entire thing. She hadn't suggested what she had suggested because she felt obligated to...nor had she done it out of sympathy. To be honest she had actually wondered what it would feel like herself.

"I...I'm sorry Logan," she said with tears in her eyes and her back still to him. She now began to feel that she was losing her rock in this world.

“I don’t want your apology...I just want your understanding. I don’t want to risk our friendship to find out if we can be together. I know I’m not worth it but I know you are,” He said. “Hardly a fair trade. Everyone including you and I Deserve love and I’m not convinced if we can do what we do and manage that and be who we need to be as well,” he said. “I want to be with you Natalya...so badly It hurts, sometimes,” he said

Natalya felt tears slip down her cheeks. She wanted love...to be loved...to know what that felt like. To feel protected and to draw on the strength of someone else...instead of always having it come from her. Natalya may be tough on the outside, but underneath that thin layer she was vulnerable and felt she had no place in this world. No one understood that like Logan did. No one understood her like Logan did. Without a word she turned and threw her arms around his neck and kissed him...deeply.

Logan was very angry at Natalya for saying what she did but when she appeared to be upset at the suddenness of violence he forced her into he became concerned. His concern was increased by what she said and he came up behind her to tell her that he didn’t mean it. That he was just trying to get a rise out of her. Anything for her not to get upset with him. However before he could say anything more she turned put her arms around his neck and pulled him into her for a kiss.

The sudden motion had surprised him and his own arms came around her small waist as he kissed her back. For those few moments Logan was in bliss with her soft, warm lips assaulting his and her warm body pressed up against him. He lifted her up turned and sat her down on the edge of the pool table, his hands moved from low on her waist to her breasts then back down to her hips. She was firm all over with very little body fat which made her softnesses grind into him that much more. His senses were taking it all in...taking ‘her’ in. Her smell and how she massaged the back of his neck and snaked her fingers up into his hair. A slight taste of maple syrup on her tongue. She was hitting all of his sensitive places as if she knew them by wrote. Then his mind zoomed back to reality and what was. Malcolm was about to have surgery and she was not his to have right then. That and he felt he knew how this would eventually end. He would lose her and live on with that pain in his heart. He lost everyone, eventually. He shifted his hands from her thighs that he had been rubbing he noticed and brought them up to her shoulders. With a firm push he leaned her back and also took a step back from her. Her neck craned forward to keep their kisses going but eventually the distance was just to far and their lips parted.

“No,” was all Logan said and he looked her in the eyes when he said it. It was softly spoken in a throaty tone but it was a clear word. By then his wounds were healed but he still had blood around his nose from where he had been bleeding. “I can’t,” He said as he looked at her. Needing her even more now...wanting her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

Logan's lips were everything Natalya had thought they would be. They were strong and firm...just like the rest of him...and yet there was also a tenderness there that pleasantly surprised her. His musky scent, mixed with the faint smell of cigar smoke filled her nose and set her on fire. She wanted Logan...and badly. She wanted to be with someone who understood her and Logan did in many ways. They had both been 'created' and their lives had been stolen from them. No one else in the world could understand what that felt like but them. Logan could have easily killed her that day. He had had her cornered and she was weaponless, but he had chosen not to and had given her a second chance at life. She loved him and she knew that she always would.

Suddenly, she felt Logan's hands push her back from the kiss. At first she tried to recapture his lips, but he stepped back from the pool table and she could see the conflict in his eyes. She sat there for a moment before she slid off of the pool table and stepped up to him. She reached up and gently caressed his cheek with her right hand as she looked up into his eyes. Her own reflected the love she felt for him. Then, she gently moved her other hand up and pulled his face back down to her own and kissed him again.

Logan had tried to be a good friend. Had tried to respect her boundaries and had tried to deny how much he wanted this...wanted her. He knew he was thinking to far ahead, like someone who wouldn’t be putting his life in danger in the next hour, or day or week. But there was a kinship between the two of them. A bond that was born from the knowledge and understanding that they both were brought to where they were against their will. Created for violence and emotionless killing. And then he felt her pulling him back down for another kiss.

“Damn you!” He whispered in a low, throaty growl but if his words were for her or himself he did not know right then. Perhaps for them both? Her lips were on his again and his need for her grew to an urgency that belied all sense he may have had a moment ago...which was to walk away form this...from her. He turned her around and kissed the back of her neck as he brought his hands up under her shirt to her breasts. Her sports bra was there to stop him from touching her flesh but he was alright with that. He pressed himself up against her bottom and felt how firm she was. He felt her arms go back to touch him and he shifted his right hand down and snaked it in inside of her pants and underpants to touch her center. He was not gentle in what he was doing, very little about Logan was. It was then that Natalya heard someone open the door at the top of the stairs to come down into the game room where they were.

Any sense of right or wrong in what they were doing had completely vanished from her head. All she was thinking about was him. She wanted him...needed him badly. She needed to forget about everything...just for a moment. Logan understood her and loved her and that was what she needed right then. She felt his hands on her body and her body began to feel like it was on fire. She trembled with desire and reached back to touch him as she felt his hand snake down into her pants. She moaned at the feel of his fingers and if one arm wasn’t still around her holding her up her knees would have given out under her.

Suddenly, she heard the door at the top of the stairs open and heard someone start to walk down. She turned her head towards the door. “We’re...talking! Please go away!”

After another moment she felt Logan’s hand draw away from between her legs and up and out of her pants. He pulled back from her then shifted toward the cue rack that was on its side and he quickly picked up a cue that had rolled out of it. The person did not heed Natalya’s warning and when she looked she saw that it was Kate and she had a sorrowful, grim look upon her face. Kate took them both in and noticed the bruises and the blood and the general disarray of the room. ‘They’ve been fighting again’, She thought as Logan straightened and turned to face her. Her eyes looked at him a moment then shifted back to Natalya.

“Malcolm...he...he didn’t survive the surgery,” She said softly. “I’m...so sorry Natalya,” She said though it was clear it was difficult for her not to start crying. When Natalya had looked at her phone there was one call and one left message and she knew who it was from. Rachael had called her and she hadn’t picked up. She had left a message it seemed. Logan closed his eyes and gave out a long sigh.

Natalya felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Malcolm hadn’t survived...he was dead. She felt like Kate’s words had punched her in the stomach. She didn’t realize that tears had come to her eyes. She had caused this. Malcolm would have been alive if she had just said no that day. She suddenly grabbed a ball off the table and with a yell she flung it against the wall with such speed and strength that it went almost completely through. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she turned and left the room. She just barely got to her room before she collapsed down onto the floor and began to sob into her hands.