An Old Acquaintance

Kressara sighed as she listened to Gowen and shook her head. They had walked off to a small empty field away from everyone else. She stopped and looked at him. "Gowen, who you wanted me to be in that marriage wasn't who I was or am. You knew that I wasn't ready to settle down or have children, but that was what you were expecting. And I would like to point out that you seemed to find someone else rather quickly after I left. So did you really even love me?"

Gowen’s jaw dropped at her words and his eyes took on an offended look. “Kressara that is hardly fair. You know I did. I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone. Esraelle had been a friend and suddenly showed back up in my life when I returned home. Likely my mother had alot to do with that but I was so hurt and directionless…” he began and then narrowed his eyes at her. “I almost gave up my commission over you,” He said as if anger had suddenly spilled into hsi words. “But you probably never knew that. Well, its true. I was a hair breadth’s away from walking away...away from everything,” He said. “But she was suddenly there and renewed are friendship,” He said then looked down at his hands. “I care for her Kressara. I really do but...but I never stopped loving you,” He said honestly and shifted and took hold of her arm to stop them. He turned her to face him. He was about to continue and instead he just shifted forward and kissed her hard on her lips.

Kressara was shocked when Gowen suddenly moved forward and kissed her. She tried to pull away, but he held fast to her arms. Everything about him was so familiar...his scent, his touch, the feel of his lips upon her own. There was a history with Gowen...even before Havan she had known him. Without realizing it she began to kiss him back and she felt him wrap his arms around her and hold her against his body. She felt his tongue mingle with her own and then his hands on her body. Suddenly though her mind awoke and she realized what she was doing. She pulled back and stepped away from him.

"I did love you Gowen, but you and I wanted different things...different worlds. I never would have been happy being cooped up in a house and you know that."

Gowen was surprised that his breaths had quickened and his heart was beating fast. He had felt her kissing him back and felt her hold onto him and arms that trembled at his touch. “I want you Kressara...The light help me but I do,” he said and watched as her mouth worked but no sound came out immediately. He felt as if she wanted him to but those feelings were based on a memory that was no longer reality. He was an honorable man just as he knew her to be an honorable woman and they were both married. “I wish I did not..but i’d just be lying if I denied it,” Gowen said. “Esra is...pregnant with my child. Pregnant and she believes it is a son. She makes me happy but she is not you Kressara,” Gowen admitted. “If you take my hand right now and lead me to somewhere private I would break my oaths to be with you,” He admitted and looked sick for it.

Kressara didn't know what to say or do in that moment. What Gowen was suggesting at that moment was not the honorable man she knew. She felt guilty because she had kissed him back and had possibly led him to believe that there might still be a future for them...which there wasn't. She sighed and shook her head and stepped back. "I love my husband very much Gowen. He is the man I was always meant to be with. I did love you and I will always care for you, but my future is with him. Go back to your wife and take care of her and your child."

Gowen took a step toward her but when she took a step back he stopped his advance. He stood there looking at her and as the silence stretched his sensibilities seemed to shoot back into him. “You are right ofcourse,” he said bitterly but if she changed her mind he would follow her to the ends of the world! “I will not press you further,” He said and once more put his hands up as if fending her off. He had a pained look in his eyes but did not continue with that line. “I will let your husband’s offense go as well. And I will take my leave of you. I don’t know if we can still be friends but perhaps...once the dust settles in my heart...it can be so,” Gowen said. “My lady,” He said and bowed to her then turned about and walked away.

Boraden held a large joint of beef up to his eye as several waitress tended the 4 soldiers that had made the mistake of insulting him. At least that was what he thought they were doing. The fight had nearly destroyed the common room and the Innkeeper spoke to several guardsmen who were flashing angry looks at Boraden who lounged in a chair with his fee tup on one of the tables that wasn’t a pile of splintered wood. He glared at them as he took a long drink of his ale. A promise that taking him to jail was not going to be easy. The older one of the two gulped audibly at his threatening gaze but the younger one who had something to prove steeled himself and stepped up to Boraden.

“You will come with us or there will be trouble,” He said plainly. Boraden only spat a bit of ale onto his boots and the young guardsman blinked in outrage.

Watching Gowen walk away was one of the most difficult things she ever had to do. She had once believed him to be the man from her dreams and visions, but she had been wrong. She had loved him, but their paths had diverged and she hoped he could find happiness in his life with his wife and child. Her life was out in the world with the man she loved and knew she was supposed to be with. Boraden was her happiness and her home and now that she had resolved her feelings about Gowen and found closure she could give her affections entirely to him.

As she headed back to the Inn a strange feeling came over her. Something had happened and she quickened her pace. As she stepped through the door she was met by a shocking sight. The common room was destroyed and there were broken tables and chairs strewn everywhere. She could see four injured soldiers being cared for and Boraden sitting on one of the few unbroken chairs with his feet up on the table in front of him and holding a piece of beef against his eye. In front of him stood two guards and she quickly realized that he was being arrested.

"What happened?!" she asked Boraden as she approached him. She was quickly trying to come up with a way to get him out of this.

Boraden glanced in her direction but then looked away toward the roaring fire in the massive fireplace. “Well...they insulted me,” he said as he gulped down more ale. One of the men groaned as a waitress poured some hot tea down his throat. The guard turned at her voice and then his eyes grew large in astonishment. “My...uh...princess Kressara..you know this man?” He asked and raised his spear up and rested the butt of it on the floor. It was clear now that she did and he grinned at her nervously. “Well...I shall leave this man in your very capable custody. Obviously there was a ‘misunderstanding’ he said uneasily though the older man looked as if he were about to add something. “Come Grobin!” The younger guard said and the elder shrugged and left the Inn with him.

“Don’t look at me that way...I’m still furioush with you Wiffe,” he said angrily though his words were slurred a bit. He seemed completely oblivious that he was quite nearly arrested. Either that or he just didn’t care right then.

Kressara did not usually like being recognized and treated differently than everyone else, but today she was thankful for it. If word had gotten back to her father that her husband had beaten up Gondorian soldiers in Gehenna and had been arrested then she couldn't imagine what he would think or say to him when they finally did meet. Boraden was drunk and she wasn't entirely sure she liked him this way. She needed to get him upstairs and away from everyone else.

After the guards left she approached him. She didn't need their bond to know that he was angry...very angry. "Let's go upstairs to our room and we can talk," she said gently.

“I will go when I finish my ale,” Boraden said in a deep, unyielding voice and didn’t turn to face her. “Wolves do not tame woman...they are what they are regardless if they are caged or out in the wilds,” he said as if she should know this already. The Innkeeper and waitresses still moved about cleaning and righting tables and chairs. His cheeks were still red for fear that Boraden might do more damage just like a wolf might if it were inside an Inn...his Inn.

Boraden didn’t really know how to take all of this. He supposed that her life just didn’t begin when he came into her life. She had been in other battles and with other men. Why he was surprised and felt hurt though he wasn’t really certain. He had been with women before but he had never been in love. He ‘liked’ women but he was almost never in a position to be so connected to any one specific woman as he was with Kressara. He supposed that it was fate once more driving him to his path and there was little he could do to change it. After he swallowed the last of his mug he slammed it down upon the table and stood up. He wavered a moment and then regained his equilibrium and dropped the piece of beef onto the table next to the mug. Without speaking he turned gave her an angry scowl and headed toward the stairs.

The stairs up to their room was not easy to traverse and when she tried to help him he jerked his arm away. None of this was even remotely her fault but he felt...belligerent for some reason and he could do nothing to stop himself. Once she closed the door behind her he felt a wave of relief pass form her through the bond. It was tempered when she saw him move to see if the mugs or pitcher held any more ale. Then rose again when it appeared that it was all gone. He fumbled at the ties of his shirt still not wanting to face her. Whether it was from anger or shame he didn’t know for certain.

“Well, you’ve caged us in...talk,” he said in a huff.

Once they were up in their room Kressara took a moment to compose herself as she watched Boraden. He was clearly angry and upset and she wanted to make things right between them. She hated knowing he was upset with her and hurt. She sighed and thought through what she was going to say very carefully for a moment or two before finally speaking.

“Boraden, I cannot and will not deny that I once loved two other men. Nor will I ever wish that I had not known them or had them in my life. I want to be honest with you. I did love them both. I loved Gowen very much and at one time did believe that he was the man from my dreams and visions. But I was wrong. He wanted a different life than what I wanted and I knew then that he was not the man I was destined to be with. I felt lost and confused until I met you and then everything in my life became clear. I knew then who I was supposed to be with. When I left Gowen my feelings were still raw and exposed and there was no closure between us. In order for me to be able to fully give my feelings only to you I needed that closure. I needed to say goodbye.”

She walked over and stood in front of him and looked into his eyes as she placed a hand upon the side of his face.

“I did love Havan and Gowen, but my love for them was an anthill compared to the mountain of love I feel for you. There is no comparison. You are the only man for me.”

He didn’t know if it was the gentleness of her touch or the kindness of her voice or both but the shame of his recent actions overruled his anger. He was acting out like a child. Angry and upset that she had ‘been’ with other men. But there was something else that continued to bother him. He kept seeing himself killing his adopted father. Was it guilt and shame that he felt from that? Anger? Anger from what? He had to make a choice. The moment he decided to marry Kressara he had made a choice. Then why did it still bother him? ‘Because you’re human fool!’ That voice inside his head scolded. Kressara was so small compared to him. In a dress he could imagine her looking like some delicate flower. ‘If a flower could use a sword and breath fire from its eyes perhaps!’ He had seen her fight after all and felt her strikes from her practice sword. ‘No not a flower...a lioness’ He decided. ‘My lioness’ He amended. ‘Just stop, she’s yours now fool!’ That voice repeated over and over. His mind was all fuzzy from all the drink...that and perhaps form being struck one too many times by one of those soldiers. They had insulted him though but he didn’t ‘have’ to be so hard on them either he knew. ‘Your fault again,’ That voice said accusingly. He wasn’t at all used to such kindness and understanding that Kressara was showing him now. The women he had known were loud and haughty. They expected a man to be rough and unyielding. Arguments were violent, loud events with equally loud and violent making up. He expected her to scream at him. Punch and slap him and hold up her end of an argument but she wasn’t arguing at all. Nor did he feel as if they were in an argument. He didn’t know why but he felt as if he wanted that from her. Needed it. Needed to feel as if he was worth fighting for. He certainly fought for her. He looked down into her blue eyes and regained his resolve.

“Bah...words are just words…” he said and shoved away her hand from his face. “Prove to me that your mine and no others,” he said. “I know of these southern traditions and sensibilities. Women do not sleep with their men before marriage yet you did, twice, didn’t you? Prove to me that I am different. That I’m not just another man in your life. I married you Kressara and I do not have love for another as you do. I deserve all of that and more. Your love, your lust, everything that you have from me. Show me that I have that, show me now!” he demanded in a tone that did not show her the respect he should to a Princess. But there was a serious edge to his words and in the bond as well.

Kressara looked at Boraden and knew he was quite drunk. However, his words and feelings seemed clear and she wanted to make him happy. She loved him…she had married him after knowing him for less than a week. He would be able to feel how much she loved him through the bond, but he wanted a physical show of her devotion to him…and only him. She wanted to prove her love to him…for him to always know how she felt for and about him.

She thought for a long moment before she kneeled down in front of him. She had never kneeled to anyone. She looked up into his eyes. “I pledge myself to you Boraden and only to you. My heart, body, and soul are yours and belong to no one else. You have my undying love and devotion. You are my soul mate…my one true love.”

She then reached up and unclasped the necklace she always wore that was tucked under her shirt. He would know that it was her most treasured possession as it had belonged to her grandmother. She had never taken it off since it was given to her. She had worn it into every battle she had been in and knew that it had been given to her mother by Lady Celebrian. She put it into his hand and closed his hand around it. “Wear this close to your heart and know that even if we are not within arm’s reach that you are my heart and I will always be with you.”

Boraden blinked and felt his cheeks grow warm when Kressara kneeled before him. His face felt as if it were about to catch fire when she began to speak. He had never heard anything even close to the oath she had just bestowed to him. There was little room in her words to wriggle out or evade. Her words were plain and honest and earnest he was pleased to find out. When she offered him her necklace though it was as if she had just plucked out her own heart and offered it to him to wear around his neck. He blinked as he tried to see it in her hand. He was drunk but the gravity of what Kressara was doing was not lost on him. He plucked the necklace from her hand then laced it up over his head. He had a mind to refuse her gift but as long as he wore it it still belonged to her he decided. Because ‘he’ still belonged to her. Kressara had called his bluff and it would be his duty to honor her sacrifice. A lifetime of such a duty, a lifetime to love her and be loved by her made him so happy he wanted to weep. He didn’t weep but the bond shone like the sun with the love they had for one another. Crudely he bent slightly and took hold of her Jerkin by the front of it. He jerked her back up onto her feet and their eyes locked onto one another’s for a time. He shook his head slightly as if she had just played a very dirty trick on him. But he had asked for it. ‘Wish for the moon and sometimes you get the sun fool!’

With brutish intent he pulled her toward him and kissed her lips hard. He tasted of ale and smelled of blood and sweat and that dark musky scent that was all his own. He thought to say something more but instead only bent to pick her up and carry her over to the bed.

The sun stung his eyes and he held up a hand to block the piercing rays from hurting his eyes. He was naked in their bed but it must have been well into the morning by how the sun shone through the window. Kressara was there on her side looking at him with a curious look upon her face. She wore his white shirt over her nakedness and is hung loosely on her much smaller shape. The necklace she gave him hung down to just above where his chest was its hairiest and it glinted silver in the sunlight. Boraden blinked the spots out of his vision and looked over at her.

“What are you grinning about?” He asked as he yawned then sat up slightly in the bed. He was covered to the waist in a sheet but the bed was in quite the disarray and most of the blankets had been kicked off the end onto the floor. Their clothes were strewn about as if they had pulled them off of one another then threw them in random directions. His head throbbed from a hangover but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with before. Her knowing smile was unnerving as if she knew a secret that he didn’t. “How long have you just been laying there watching me sleep?” he asked then turned onto his side and balanced his head on his arm as he looked at her. “Would you mind if we stayed here a few more days?” he asked then reached out and put his large hand on her hip.

It was late the following morning when Kressara began to awaken. She stretched and yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Boraden was still sound asleep beside her and the room was in a state of disarray. Their clothes were haphazardly strewn about the room and most of the bedding had ended up on the floor...or partially on the floor. She sat up and looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly and there were hardly any clouds in the sky. It was truly a beautiful day and as she looked over at her husband she felt that their relationship was finally whole. She spotted the necklace she had given him resting against his chest and she smiled to see it around his neck.

She carefully got out of bed so as not to disturb him and went to the private bath to wash up. As she dried off she grabbed Boraden's white shirt and put it on before getting back into bed. She liked it because it smelled like him. She lay on her side and watched Boraden as he slept, thinking she was the luckiest woman in the world to have such a husband as he. Then she began to think back to last night and a grin slowly appeared on her lips.

At that moment Boraden began to awaken and she smiled at him when he asked her how long she had been just laying there watching him sleep. "Not long and yes, I was thinking it would be nice to stay here a few more days myself." She leaned forward and kissed him before slowly pulling back and grinning at him again. "I was just thinking about last night and wondering how many people overheard us."