Picking Up The Pieces

Twenty Four hours later...

Natalya sat in a windowless cell inside SHIELD HQ. All of her weapons had been removed and she had acquiesced to everything that had been asked of her. It had been Fury's orders that had put her here. Despite what she had done twenty four hours prior she was still wanted by SHIELD and now Director Fury was contemplating her ultimate fate. Natalya just laid on her cot and stared at the ceiling. She wanted to know what was happening with Evan, but no one would give her any information.

Alyssa had lived, though if a few more seconds had passed she would have died. She allowed herself to receive a little treatment, but then was firm in her decision to start working again. No one knew what was going to happen to Evan. He was alive, but unconscious and Alyssa feared that he might never awaken again. It was she who personally went to his parent's house and informed them of what had happened. She then escorted them to SHIELD HQ and took them to the infirmary where Evan lay.

Natalya sighed when she heard the slot in the door to her cell open. She didn't need to look over to see it was Tom Galligan. She had grown to hate him over the past 24 hours, but she didn't fight him. The thought of Evan dying had sucked any fight she had left in her out. Plus, she figured she was dead anyway and knew that fighting wasn't going to get her anywhere. If she was going to die it was going to be quietly. She wouldn't let Tom beat her down and force her to become that monster again...the monster that Evan thought she was.

She got up and without a word she walked over to the shackles. She could see Tom sneering at her out of the corner of one eye. She hated seeing him look at her like that. She wasn't sure why they were taking her out, but she wasn't about to question them about it. She just quietly slipped her hands into the shackles without looking Tom's way.

Natalya had to walk slowly and she was glad Tom was in front of her instead of behind her because she knew he would have fondled her had he been. It was a frustrating feeling for her not being able to defend herself. She was almost completely helpless, though she knew if she had to she could get out of the shackles, but if she did that they would certainly kill her without a second thought. She found it odd when she was led back into the lounge area. She had been there twice before now. Once to be questioned by Director Fury and a second time to be questioned by Alyssa Hart. She wasn't sure who else would be wanting to talk to her. She had told both Fury and Alyssa everything she knew. She hadn't held anything back. She had even admitted to talking to Tatiana while in Evan's office.

She took a seat back at the table and she was restrained even further. Tom then took an opportunity to try and upset her. He jerked her chin up so she was looking at him, but she didn't react. Thankfully, he then let her go. She heard the door open and she looked over to see a woman she didn't recognize walk in. As Tom and Frank left the woman sat down in front of her. She looked human, but there was something different about her that she could not put her finger on...until she saw her eyes. They were the same as Evan's and she knew then that she must be his mother...the Goddess. It felt strange sitting across from someone like her, but she behaved perfectly normal and gave no indication of what she truly was. When she spoke about Evan, Marantha would see a reaction in Natalya's eyes. There was a mixture of feelings there, whether Natalya knew it or not. She was surprised to hear that Evan was speaking her name in his unconscious state when he had indicated to her that he did not trust her. When this woman went on to ask her about her relationship with Evan, Natalya hesitated and glanced up towards the ceiling where she knew a recording device would be. However, Marantha promised her that they were not being listened to. Natalya honestly did not know what her relationship with Evan was...if it was anything. She had never been in any sort of relationship and had never experienced love or affection. Everything was new to her and she was confused by the unknown feelings swirling around within her.

"I...I don't know," she answered honestly in her Russian accent. "He doesn't trust me. To him I'm nothing more than a killing machine."

Natalya looked at Marantha and seemed genuinely surprised to hear that Evan may actually love her. How could anyone love her? She had not been "designed" for love...just for death. The thought overwhelmed and terrified her. She didn't know what love truly was. She of course knew the concept of love and had seen people seemingly in love. But how did one know if what they were feeling was love? And how could someone like her be "worthy" of love? She had done nothing but evil her entire life...evil that she did not even wish to think about. True, she had had very little choice in the matter...if at all, but she had done those things. She had killed many people and hurt many others without a second thought. Love was weakness, that is what Tatiana had told her over and over again. It stopped you from doing what you needed to do. The concept that love was strength was entirely new to her and she was starting to believe that what she had been taught was a lie.

"I would never hurt Evan," Natalya told her vehemently. "Which is why Evan should stay away from me. If SHIELD ever lets me out of here then the SSB will be on me and believe me when I tell you that they are indiscriminate as to who they kill. If Evan is near me they will kill him too."

Natalya watched Marantha's face and could see she was thinking deeply about something. She could see her eyes change as a certain thought came to her and as a tear rolled down her cheek she knew she must be thinking about losing Evan. No one had ever loved her like that. If she had died while serving the SSB she knew that Tatiana would have been sad about losing her investment...not specifically about losing her as a person. She had never thought she would want that...for someone to feel sad about losing her, but as she watched Marantha she realized that she did want that...she wanted it more than anything else in the world now. She wanted to feel loved and needed and she wanted to feel that as well for someone else. The thought of showing her more vulnerable side to Evan was terrifying to her in a way, but she knew once done it would also be liberating. She knew that if there was one person in the entire world she could trust it was Evan...and she did...entirely. And that, in and of itself, was a big step for her emotionally. She knew she had a ways to go, but if Evan was willing to be patient with her she was willing to try.

"I...I want to see Evan...even if it's just through glass...I just want to see him...to be near him."

Marantha nodded a knowing nod and slowly and elegantly rose from the chair and without a word she departed the room. Several moments later Alyssa herself appeared and she removed Natalya's bonds. She felt she could trust Natalya at this point. After all, she had saved Evan's life. Natalya rubbed her wrists slightly after they were freed before following Alyssa out of the room. She was led down several long hallways and then through some secured double doors. Inside, was the medical wing. There was state of the art equipment and everything was spotless and smelled of bleach. Alyssa led Natalya through another set of secured doors and then into a single room. It looked like the kind of room one would find in a hospital, except it was windowless. There on the bed Natalya spotted Evan. He was hooked up to a BP and heart monitor, which gave slow beeps indicating he was still alive. His eyes were closed and he did not move. Without a word Alyssa left and closed the door behind her, leaving Natalya completely alone with Evan. At first she was unsure of what to do. She just stood there awkwardly. But finally, she stepped closer and sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"I...I need you to live," she said softly after several quiet moments. "You are the first person who has truly cared whether I live or die. I don't know why, but I like knowing that you care. And...I care whether you live or die. If you die...then I'm completely alone. I...I don't want to be alone."

Natalya stayed close to Evan as the days passed. She watched as people streamed in and out of his room. Very little was said to her, but she preferred it that way. She wasn't sure what to say to most of these people anyway. She wasn't one of them...nor did she belong to the SSB any longer. She felt completely alone and strangely lonely. Before meeting Evan she had always worked alone and her contact with people outside of the SSB was limited and only for missions. But now the thought of being alone was like a black pit she was being pulled into. It was dark, cold, and empty. She could sense that SHIELD was trying to figure out what to do with her. Saving Evan, was not going to negate all the terrible things she had done over the years. She still had Evan's leather jacket and she laid it over her at night like a blanket and breathed in his scent which continued to linger there.

Finally, one day two guards came and retrieved her and took her down to Dimitri's lab. She stepped in quietly and took a seat at the table. As he pulled something out of his desk she glanced around his lab and then looked at him. She could see the resemblance between the two men and could tell that what was happening to Evan was affecting him greatly. She wasn't sure at first what he wanted from her, but saw that what he had pulled out was a bottle of alcohol. Before she could tell him she didn't drink alcohol he had poured her a glass and slid it towards her. She watched him down his shot and she hesitated before slowly picking up the small glass. She smelled it first before downing it like he had. However, unlike him she began to cough afterwards and began to speak in Russian until she realized she was not speaking English.

"Sorry, I tend to revert back to Russian when I haven't spoken to anyone in a while," she explained. "I've never had alcohol before. It was on the extensive list of things I was never supposed to have. The SSB monitored my body and health very closely."

Dimitri chuckled at how the woman reacted to the drink. And smiled at what she said. For himself Marantha was almost always too certain, too confident and too beautiful to dispute in most things. She had a strong hold over him and deferred to him when it came to most decisions. She often used her wiles in the bedroom to change his mind when she wanted him to go her way and over time Dimitri had grown to love her a great deal. Evan however was a different story. They rarely spoke and when they did it was less than cordial. He wanted something different for his only child but he had to admit that Evan had done well for himself. Now though he was dying and painfully.

“In your new found liberation, you will find independence to be something you will come to love in time. To be able to decide for yourself what is right for you is what makes life worth living. It is fitting that you and Evan found one another. You are so different, almost polar opposites I think,” he said as he clinked their glasses together and he downed his quickly.

“Evan is dying Natalya. A painful death and I can seem to do little to stop it. I called you here to ask you if you truly wanted to help him?” he asked as he refilled their glasses a third time.

"I find liberation to currently be terrifying," Natalya admitted with a slight blush. She had never admitted to being scared of anything in her entire life. Fear was not something the SSB recognized. Fear was beaten out of you. Strength had been the only thing that had mattered. "I belong nowhere now." She picked up the glass and this time managed to drink it without as much coughing. It warmed her mouth and throat and she felt her face flush. However, when Dimitri pointed out that Evan was dying, Natalya felt that feeling of loss and sadness come over her again. She looked down at the table and at her glass as he refilled it a third time. But then he went on to ask her if she wanted to help Evan. Slowly, she looked up at him, though she didn't appear convinced there was anything she could do to help.

"Of course," she replied. "I would do anything to help him, but I'm no doctor or scientist. I'm nothing but a trained killer. I have nothing to offer. What could I possibly do?"

This time Dimitri just held his glass, the distinct scent of Annis and black licorice permeated the space around them. “It’s not necessarily ‘who’ you are as ‘what’ you are Natalya that I need to help him. I’ve read your file and I’ve seen the videos. You appear human but we both know there is something more to you than meets the eye. I’d like a sample of your blood and perform a spinal tap to capture the essence of what makes you so different...so much stronger and faster than everyone else,” he said then drank his drink in one quick swallow.

“The Ether that has infected Evan’s blood would have killed anyone else outright. I’ve already formed a serum with Marantha’s blood but Evan’s not strong enough to make use of it. If I were to ‘temporarily’ strengthen his immune system, I could give him the serum and save his life. The Ether will dissolve into his blood and I can not be certain that will do but he will be alive. What say you Natalya Sokolova, will you allow me to do this? I will not if you say no. I will not do anything to anyone who is not willing. I stand by my oaths to do no harm. Which is why I would not agree to work for SHIELD. I am here due to my wife FOR Evan and they know this,” He said.

Natalya had no knowledge of the serum that flowed through her veins. The fact that the super soldier serum had been injected into the embryo that formed her remained a highly guarded SSB secret and Natalya, knowing nothing else than what she was, had no idea that she was very different than everyone else. She attributed her strength and endurance to years and years of highly specialized training and nothing else. She listened to Dimitri with a level of curiosity and considered his words before downing her shot in one swallow. This time she did not cough at all. All she felt was the warming effects of the alcohol, but nothing else.

"I will do anything you ask of me for Evan's sake, but I don't think you are going to find what you are looking for. I'm a highly trained agent...nothing else."

Dimitri smiled a knowing smile. He had only seen one other person move like that and that man was not available to him. He refilled her glass one last time and then clinked his to hers once more.

After the extraction was done, Natalya was taken back to Evan’s room. Her back would be sore for a little while yet but a meal was brought to her and Marantha was there to dine with her. Evan’s veins had grown much more black and his skin had a gray, paleness to it. A sign that he didn’t have much longer. Even so Marantha appeared resigned to whatever would come. To her life and death were just part of the bigger picture of existence. She would live out her life as a human and if Evan died she’d mourn his death like any mother would. But that was not now and now she ate with Natalya.

“I hope you’re not too uncomfortable. I’ve heard stories of such things. Eat and gain your strength. Evan does not have long I suspect. Dimitri is working as fast as he can and there is little more we can do but wait now,” She said then took a bite of a potato.

In the lab Dimitri spun her spinal fluid in the centrifuge and tested it with a portion of the serum once more. He had stayed up all the next day trying and failing with various formulas but he now knew he was right about Natalya. She has been ‘altered’ by the serum, if not as much as Captain America. He watched hopefully with tired eyes as the serum began its attack on the sample of Evan’s blood enhanced by the serum. Just like before the blood cells began to die but then something odd happened. He didn’t realize it but he had not put the light on above the counter and his shadow loomed over the petri dish, bathing it in darkness. The blood began to fight back and soon it took on the serum. To his delight what was left were healthy cells. He smiled tiredly and went to work to make more of the agent he’d inject Evan with. It would have no lasting effects upon him but it would help him survive the virulent serum that would help his body properly absorb the Dark Matter Ether in his bloodstream.

Natalya's back felt sore from the spinal tap as the numbing medication began to wear off, but she showed no signs of any pain or discomfort. That had not been tolerated at the SSB and her intense training stuck with her. Marantha came to dine with her in Evan's room, but Natalya had no appetite. Evan looked worse every time she looked at him and it sickened her. She forced herself to eat a little, for Marantha's sake, but eventually pushed her plate away. That night she did not sleep at all. She just paced back and forth, trying to think of someway to save Evan. She knew the SSB had resources, but no one had ever dealt with anything like this before and going to them would mean being forced to work for them again and she knew she couldn't do that. Evan had saved her from that life and she knew he would not want her going back to them...even for his sake.

Finally, as the sun began to rise she just sat down on the edge of his bed beside him and took his hand into her own. She looked down at his face and for the first time in her life tears filled her eyes. As several tears rolled down her cheeks she realized what it was she was truly feeling.

"I...I love you Evan."

ooc: new thread