Living on Their Own

Ariana was relieved that she was going to be allowed to stay. She was glad to be home where she knew her daughter was going to be safe and well taken care of. Lucas remained constantly on her mind and she knew that adjusting to life without him was going to be difficult. He had been everything to her and she had loved him dearly. However, she was still quite young and now with a child. She would be expected to re-marry,  but finding a husband who would be willing to raise a child that was no his own might prove difficult.

Ariana was back in her rooms that evening after dinner. Meliara was asleep in her crib and Ariana was sitting by the fireplace thinking about Lucas when her mother walked in.

In many ways Nauriel felt responsible for Ariana, though she struggled to discover what she had done or didn’t to properly to raise her like her other daughters. Willful, deceitful and unwilling to compromise, Ariana had become a selfish young woman and it had cost her and their family a great deal of sorrow and hardship. Elessar’s capacity to love and forgive was limitless. It was one of the reasons that she loved him so much. To see him hurt so by one of his own children had burned a hard resentment toward Ariana that she couldn’t shake. Nauriel was not convinced that Ariana would not do something like this again and so it may well be that she will hunt for a suitable husband for her who could keep her in the city and out of trouble.

She didn’t knock, Nauriel slipped into Ariana’s rooms and watched her for a time before she was noticed. She held a decidedly neutral expression on her face and though the King had opened his arms and his heart to Ariana, she feared that she may yet find a way to disappoint him again and that was absolutely not acceptable. It was easy to love Ariana, her smiles were infectious and even her flaws seemed to make you feel sorry for her instead of teaching her properly. That was Nauriel’s fault to she felt.

“We need to talk, daughter, make us some tea we have much to discuss,” Nauriel said calmly but her stomach was turning butterflies.

Truth be told, Ariana was not surprised when her mother showed up. She had been expecting it. A real talk had not happened since she had returned and she knew that, despite their being happy at her return, her parents were still very upset over the fact that she had left in the first place. She was ready to hear whatever her mother had to say and was ready to accept whatever was decided. She was a mother now and had more important responsibilities and would ensure her daughter was taken care of.

She nodded and got up and began to prepare some tea. Neither one of them said anything while the tea was being made. After she had prepared both cups, Ariana handed one to her mother before sitting down with her own. She kept the cup in her lap, waiting for her mother to begin speaking.

“You don’t deserve the love your father has for you,” Nauriel began. It took months to get him to smile again and over a year before things got back to some semblance of ‘normal’. “You go your own way without taking into account what your actions might do to others. Your father is a King, with the responsibility of peace and prosperity of all men on his shoulders,” she said in an angry voice. “You have no idea of what you do, the lies, the defiance?” She continued. “I won’t have it Ariana...not again, not ever. You embarrassed our family and put people at risk. You debased your station and all that it stood for...never...again,” she said in a hard tone and then paused to see if there was anything Ariana wanted to say though she was far from done.

Ariana didn't cry, though she wanted to. Her mother's words were painful to hear, but she knew that she deserved them. What she had done was beyond forgiving, though she hadn't known that at the time. She forced herself to continue to look at her mother, though it was extremely difficult.

"I know Mother," she finally said. "I do not ask for forgiveness...nor do I deserve it. I was in love and didn't think. As a mother now myself I can understand and I am so sorry for what I put everyone through."

Nauriel shook her head. “No, no you’re not sorry I think because it took certain circumstances to bring you back. You’re sorry your husband died...and you had no other option but to return,” she said coldly. It was not easy to say these things to Ariana but she knew she had to. For her and Ariana both. “Now you know what has to happen yes?” She asked but wanted Ariana to say it. She could not be without a husband now that she had a child. Luckily there were many men who would marry her for her station and for who her parents were and it was Nauriel’s intent to make a match for her that would not be completely terrible.

Now tears did fill Ariana's eyes, but she kept them from falling down her cheeks. "The only reason we left was because we were scared. I loved Lucas and was afraid that you and Father would keep us apart. Then...when I became pregnant we felt that we had no choice. Leaving was no easy...it was not what we truly wanted and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I just want you to know that and to know how much I wanted you there when Meliara was born. I felt truly alone and scared. Lucas wanted me to come back...but I refused to go without him and we both knew that he could not return. I know what I have to do and I will do it without complaint. I just want to ensure Meliara is taken care of."

“And here you go, rationalizing what should NOT have happened in the first place!” Naurial snapped and she slapped her hand hard on the armrest of her chair. “We all bear the responsibilities of our stations and you chose yourself over our family. You seem to think your rebellions were justified, well, you are mistaken! Lucas has paid the ultimate price for your mistake, don’t make your daughter pay for them too!” She said but in her anger she didn’t really mean to throw his death at her feet. Well, she could not take back her words now. She leaned forward and her voice took on a very dark tone.

“Understand right now that your daughter is all of our responsibility. You made it so when you so carelessly brought her into this world. Do I make myself clear?” she asked. What she really meant was that now she was known, Ariana would not be free to take her away because she fell in with some other man.

At the thought that Lucas might have been killed because of her Ariana lost control and broke down and began to sob. She missed him and needed him with her right then. She knew that she deserved all that her mother was saying to her right then, but she couldn't control her emotions any longer. She had been carrying them with her since his death and had not had time to truly grieve. She could only nod when asked if she understood that Meliara was now the responsibility of her parents as well. Nauriel would be able to see just how much Ariana loved Lucas. It had not just been a fleeting romance. They had truly been in love and Ariana had respected him even more when he had stepped up to do the right thing.

"I miss him so much Mother," she told her through her sobs. "It is like part of me is missing and I don't know what to do."

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